For many years, I have got my motorcycle insurance from an Irish fella in a brokers in Worthing. He has never failed to get me cheap insurance for my bike, and he is generally an awesome bloke. In fact, he's bloomin' amazing. I only see the chap once a year, but he knows my name every time he sees me, knows all about me, what course I'm doing at Uni, asks about Mum (she get's her bike insurance through him as well) - how does Gerry (for that is his name)remember all this stuff!?!?!?
I phoned him up the other day, and said, 'hello Gerry, it's Andy'. My insurance is due for renewal, and I needed to tell him the details of my motoring conviction (still gets me angry thinking about that). So I said, 'Hello Gerry, it's Andy'. To which he replied (remember, we're on the phone, he can't see my face, and I've given no surname) 'You're a knob aren't ya! A blo*dy IN10?'
How's that for customer service, huh? Legend.
I have to say though, he sorted me out a cracking deal. The offense has only increased by insurance by £15, and was £35 less than I had been quoted elsewhere! (I wish my car insurance had only gone up by £15, instead of £75...).
Lastly, it would be rude of me to say hi to the person who suggested and introduced me to Gerry. I doubt she remembers, but way back in our first year of college, Sibohan suggested him for bike insurance (please get an easier name to spell...).
Double lastly, I realised that I let the 200th CATCOUK blog post slip by last time. I'm glad that such an honour was dedicated to the passing of one of my friends. Please re-read the last post, and imagine fireworks and catherine wheels...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Frown and Grrr
I have to say, that the week between Valentine's Day and my birthday is always bad. These are two of the most depressing days of the year for me (Valentine's Day for obvious reasons). But this year, I managed to make the week that much more stressful for myself. What a pillock.
First off, I decided to collect all of my dissertation data in one week, and carry out the intervention. Alright, so all I had to do was run a week of fun adventurous activities - and tha was a laugh. But my dear lord! The week just went from one disaster to the next. You all know about the orienteering map bu*ger up (and if you don't, read the previous post), but there is only one other that I'm willing to share. We went to do archery at our local Scout camp. Previously, we have used the big field next door. I arrived, and found that they don't have access to that field any more, and I would have to use the camp (which has a stream running behind it)! Loosing arrows in the stream would be bad news bears. But the Scout guys were great. They took 25 minutes to drive to their HQ, and get their archery net, which they then set up for me. That was sooo appreciated, and was one of the few things that went right.
On top of this, I had to get a presentation done for Uni. After feck*ng around Friday morning with the map, I ruched to Chichester to meet up with my group. The deal was that I would present and sort out the technology and presentation materials. The rest of the team would sort out the research. We got all of the stuff together, and I found that the presentation was weaker than a wet paper bag! Oh bu*ger.
So I spent all weekend (when I wasn't doing dissertation stuff) trying to get it right. That included my birthday. The group then spent all of Monday trying to scrape together something decent. By today, we had produced a pretty well referenced presentation, and I had sorted out a webpage and handout to accompany the presentation (I think the finishing touches are important). So after all of that effort, you'd think I'd be pleased with the result.
No.
The scheduled room hadn't been booked properly (chuffing incompetent lecturers - how hard can it be to book a room - oh that's right easy - I've done it before!!!). I had checked the presentation worked properly, and all of the technology worked in that room. Obviously, it didn't work properly in the other room. The colour contrast was way off, so no one could see the animation or design of the presentation, and all of the footer notes had been cut off of the bottom.
Worse still, was my own performance. In previous presentations, my presentation skills have become the stuff of legends (even if I do say so myself). As such, the group decided that I would present the latter two thirds of the presentation to punch us through. Unfortunately, I have been chisled down so much, that I really couldn't care less about the bloo*y thing. Worse still, I had no enthusiasm (or even a passing interest) for the subject in the first place. That may have shown in my generally pi*s-poor performance, and the generally un-entertaining result. Maybe it was just because we were last up, but I really didn't feel that spark I usually have. All the effort and stress, and I was severely disappointed with the outcome. That's definitely a kick in the teeth.
Having said that, I spent 45 minutes on the phone this evening, and chatting with a friend really did make me feel better. Thanks Nat.
I'd just like to finish with my Birthday. Thanks to everyone who sent a message (by phone or by FaceBook, or in person). I have said that I don't like my birthday, and I really do consider it a non-event. Except for my family, there is only one person in the world who knows when it is (although Mike actually goes for two dates, better to be on the safe side eh?). Thanks to FaceBook, everyone and their bloomin dog knew when it was this year. Well, don't worry, I found out how to get rid of that on FaceBook.
It's not because I am vain, I don't think that age is important in many things. I have left my birthday visible on FaceBook to proove this (I don't mind everyone knowing that I'm only 20... lol). The day just makes me miserable for other far more complex reasons. Having said that, it is nice to receive so many messages. Thanks for that. It was also very good to receive such an amazing present from my best mate. It won't mean anything to anyone else, but he gave me something he has had for years, and I have wanted ever since I saw it.
And on that bomb-shell, goodnight.
Dedicated to the memory of Commodore Bill Smith NTC (1920-2009). A great leader, a great man, and a great friend. I will miss you alot Bill, and so will so many others.
First off, I decided to collect all of my dissertation data in one week, and carry out the intervention. Alright, so all I had to do was run a week of fun adventurous activities - and tha was a laugh. But my dear lord! The week just went from one disaster to the next. You all know about the orienteering map bu*ger up (and if you don't, read the previous post), but there is only one other that I'm willing to share. We went to do archery at our local Scout camp. Previously, we have used the big field next door. I arrived, and found that they don't have access to that field any more, and I would have to use the camp (which has a stream running behind it)! Loosing arrows in the stream would be bad news bears. But the Scout guys were great. They took 25 minutes to drive to their HQ, and get their archery net, which they then set up for me. That was sooo appreciated, and was one of the few things that went right.
On top of this, I had to get a presentation done for Uni. After feck*ng around Friday morning with the map, I ruched to Chichester to meet up with my group. The deal was that I would present and sort out the technology and presentation materials. The rest of the team would sort out the research. We got all of the stuff together, and I found that the presentation was weaker than a wet paper bag! Oh bu*ger.
So I spent all weekend (when I wasn't doing dissertation stuff) trying to get it right. That included my birthday. The group then spent all of Monday trying to scrape together something decent. By today, we had produced a pretty well referenced presentation, and I had sorted out a webpage and handout to accompany the presentation (I think the finishing touches are important). So after all of that effort, you'd think I'd be pleased with the result.
No.
The scheduled room hadn't been booked properly (chuffing incompetent lecturers - how hard can it be to book a room - oh that's right easy - I've done it before!!!). I had checked the presentation worked properly, and all of the technology worked in that room. Obviously, it didn't work properly in the other room. The colour contrast was way off, so no one could see the animation or design of the presentation, and all of the footer notes had been cut off of the bottom.
Worse still, was my own performance. In previous presentations, my presentation skills have become the stuff of legends (even if I do say so myself). As such, the group decided that I would present the latter two thirds of the presentation to punch us through. Unfortunately, I have been chisled down so much, that I really couldn't care less about the bloo*y thing. Worse still, I had no enthusiasm (or even a passing interest) for the subject in the first place. That may have shown in my generally pi*s-poor performance, and the generally un-entertaining result. Maybe it was just because we were last up, but I really didn't feel that spark I usually have. All the effort and stress, and I was severely disappointed with the outcome. That's definitely a kick in the teeth.
Having said that, I spent 45 minutes on the phone this evening, and chatting with a friend really did make me feel better. Thanks Nat.
I'd just like to finish with my Birthday. Thanks to everyone who sent a message (by phone or by FaceBook, or in person). I have said that I don't like my birthday, and I really do consider it a non-event. Except for my family, there is only one person in the world who knows when it is (although Mike actually goes for two dates, better to be on the safe side eh?). Thanks to FaceBook, everyone and their bloomin dog knew when it was this year. Well, don't worry, I found out how to get rid of that on FaceBook.
It's not because I am vain, I don't think that age is important in many things. I have left my birthday visible on FaceBook to proove this (I don't mind everyone knowing that I'm only 20... lol). The day just makes me miserable for other far more complex reasons. Having said that, it is nice to receive so many messages. Thanks for that. It was also very good to receive such an amazing present from my best mate. It won't mean anything to anyone else, but he gave me something he has had for years, and I have wanted ever since I saw it.
And on that bomb-shell, goodnight.
Dedicated to the memory of Commodore Bill Smith NTC (1920-2009). A great leader, a great man, and a great friend. I will miss you alot Bill, and so will so many others.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Lancing Ring Orienteering (PS - I'm still a navigation god!)
I don't quite know what is happenning to my blog, but we have another public service announcement. For part of my dissertation research I wanted to take a group of NTC cadets orienteering on the fixed Lancing Ring (a.k.a. Lancing Clump) orienteering course. After two weeks of investigation, I managed to track down the man who runs it, to find out that I was calling him on his mobile phone in - NEW ZEALAND! Sorry Mum and Dad - that might have been an expensive call...
Anyways, he wouldn't return until after we were due to go. So instead, I decided that I would have to use an OS map, and create my own orienteering course map. I haven't done the course in 4 years, but I managed to find 12 markers (all the markers that I remember). Strictly speaking the start and finish is in the Lancing Manor Leisure Centre's field, but I started from the other end at the North Lancing cemetery. After just 65 minutes all the points (armed with no map) were mine!
With all of the trouble I had, I thought I would put a map up showing where the markers are, so that if you're left in the same boat, you haven't got to stumble around beautiful Lancing Ring to find them all. Each dot is a marker, and the start/ finish post is near where it says 'Pleasure Gds'. (I suppose there might be more than 12 markers, but me and the 25 cadets didn't find any others)
Hope that helps someone out. If you want to speak to the man, go to www.milescary.co.uk (provided he's not in New Zealand...).
Anyways, he wouldn't return until after we were due to go. So instead, I decided that I would have to use an OS map, and create my own orienteering course map. I haven't done the course in 4 years, but I managed to find 12 markers (all the markers that I remember). Strictly speaking the start and finish is in the Lancing Manor Leisure Centre's field, but I started from the other end at the North Lancing cemetery. After just 65 minutes all the points (armed with no map) were mine!
With all of the trouble I had, I thought I would put a map up showing where the markers are, so that if you're left in the same boat, you haven't got to stumble around beautiful Lancing Ring to find them all. Each dot is a marker, and the start/ finish post is near where it says 'Pleasure Gds'. (I suppose there might be more than 12 markers, but me and the 25 cadets didn't find any others)
Hope that helps someone out. If you want to speak to the man, go to www.milescary.co.uk (provided he's not in New Zealand...).
Monday, February 16, 2009
Part II: Even Angrier Skis of Fury!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls - it's here. After a whole week of suspense, the wait is over. You can now see the second part to our first mini-series: Wish You Were Here (instead of me).
If you can't see it above, you can click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we4ZAMB652c
If you can't see it above, you can click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we4ZAMB652c
Sunday, February 15, 2009
An uncharacteristic social rant
In the last few weeks, an advert has slithered it's way onto our TV screens. Nothing odd about that, there are many adverts on TV - but this one I object to strongly. It's one of those 'diet pills' adverts for women. Most of these adverts have a before and after image, and sometimes you can see why the 'before' woman might want to diet - she's a little overweight. But this one has really angered me. Look at the pictures below. I'm guessing the pictures on the left are supposed to be 'before' shots.
You may wonder why I say these things. Well, other than an excuse to put pictures of beautiful bikini-clad women on my blog, I also have many female friends. I know that some of them have issues with their self-image, and I felt the need to condemn this kind of advert, and to try and assure as many normal women out there as possible that they are not fat, they don't need to go on a diet, and they don't need to start taking diet pills. Just say no girls!
Rant over. Say no to drugs (of any kind) kids!
To every man that reads this - is there anything wrong with the lady on the left? I would strongly guess that there isn't a man or woman on the planet who considers her overweight, or ever the slightest bit 'chunky'. In fact, she's gorgeous. Worse still, there are many women who might be a little bigger than 'before' picture, and feel they need to diet because of these pictures. Bol*oc*ks! No they don't.
You may wonder why I say these things. Well, other than an excuse to put pictures of beautiful bikini-clad women on my blog, I also have many female friends. I know that some of them have issues with their self-image, and I felt the need to condemn this kind of advert, and to try and assure as many normal women out there as possible that they are not fat, they don't need to go on a diet, and they don't need to start taking diet pills. Just say no girls!
Rant over. Say no to drugs (of any kind) kids!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The end of an era
Not that anybody cares, but I just want this out on the internet with a date so that everyone knows. After 10 years of providing media-based services, CAT: Computer Applied Technology is changing the name that it 'trades' under. From today, all divisions of my multi-faceted media company (including web-design, publications, films and other media) will be known as:
CAT-TDY Productions (est. 2009)
Keeping the 'CAT' part of the name from the company, I felt it was time to update the brand (and find a name that no one else uses). TDY is from the last three digits of Ernie's number plate. This means that 'Wish You Were Here (instead of me)' is officialy CAT Productions final project.
The end of an era (that no-one cares about, told you).
CAT-TDY Productions (est. 2009)Keeping the 'CAT' part of the name from the company, I felt it was time to update the brand (and find a name that no one else uses). TDY is from the last three digits of Ernie's number plate. This means that 'Wish You Were Here (instead of me)' is officialy CAT Productions final project.
The end of an era (that no-one cares about, told you).
Thursday, February 12, 2009
15 minutes of fame
As some bloke said, everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame. It would appear that I'm getting mine now. I've been blogging for nearly three years, and in that time I have produced many videos, and other bits of 'entertainment'. But never has a project prooved so popular!
Since it's release, 'Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me)' has grossed $0 internationaly at the box-office, but it has had 75 views on YouTube, and a raft of very positive comments on FaceBook. One of my friends (Maz) has E-mailed the first part to Top Gear, feeling that the video warrented their attention. I'm not expecting to hear anything back, but it was nice jesture...
Another friend (Hannah) E-mail the link to everyone in the Adventure Education address book. Unfortunatly, that also meant the Uni's teaching staff. Bugger. I guess I can count on a fail for that module then... Having said that, apparently, on lecturer, Hodgo) thought it was 'hillarios'.
But all of this publicity started when Holly made a big deal of it on FaceBook, and ordered all Ad Ed's to watch. I guess that means I should credir Holly as part of the PR department as well...
With the huge success of the series (so far), I have completed a DVD. I don't really know why I put so much effort into it, but I think it looks awesome. I had an 'advance preview' at Uni in the library, and part 2 (and the DVD) was well received. Unbelievable. It was just something I threw together...
Thank you to everyone who has made a comment. All have and will be read, and are greatly appreciated...
Since it's release, 'Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me)' has grossed $0 internationaly at the box-office, but it has had 75 views on YouTube, and a raft of very positive comments on FaceBook. One of my friends (Maz) has E-mailed the first part to Top Gear, feeling that the video warrented their attention. I'm not expecting to hear anything back, but it was nice jesture...
Another friend (Hannah) E-mail the link to everyone in the Adventure Education address book. Unfortunatly, that also meant the Uni's teaching staff. Bugger. I guess I can count on a fail for that module then... Having said that, apparently, on lecturer, Hodgo) thought it was 'hillarios'.
But all of this publicity started when Holly made a big deal of it on FaceBook, and ordered all Ad Ed's to watch. I guess that means I should credir Holly as part of the PR department as well...
With the huge success of the series (so far), I have completed a DVD. I don't really know why I put so much effort into it, but I think it looks awesome. I had an 'advance preview' at Uni in the library, and part 2 (and the DVD) was well received. Unbelievable. It was just something I threw together...
Thank you to everyone who has made a comment. All have and will be read, and are greatly appreciated...
Monday, February 09, 2009
The answers to all of your FaceBook questions...
If you haven't got FaceBook, you won't know that some amazing changes have taken place in the last few days of my life. It all started when I de-listed myself as single last week, and the questions and comments came flying in. So in the past few days, I have been listed as:
Andrew is in an open relationship with Miss Terry Woman [mystery woman... geddit?]
Andrew is listed as engaged. (Yeah, I'm on the phone, sorry)
Andrew is married... to the NTC and possible Ernie the Escort.
Andrew is no longer listed as married.
Andrew could be expecting a little Clarke.
Well, the answer is this - hopefully many people are reading this, and as such will now know that the first part of my new video is out: I Wish You Were Here (instead of me), Part 1: Wheels of Anger! This is the story of a boy from Lancing, and his amazing 1986 Ford Escort going to Grnoble, 700 miles away! Have a look at it, you know you want to.
If you can't see the video, follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx0JeHM3wPI
Part 2: Even Angrier Skis of Fury will be out next week (and I think it's 200% better than part 1).
That didn't answer any questions, but it did plug this great new video(Am I the father to an expected bastard love child from a very short marriage or an open relationship with Miss Woman?)
Andrew is in an open relationship with Miss Terry Woman [mystery woman... geddit?]
Andrew is listed as engaged. (Yeah, I'm on the phone, sorry)
Andrew is married... to the NTC and possible Ernie the Escort.
Andrew is no longer listed as married.
Andrew could be expecting a little Clarke.
Well, the answer is this - hopefully many people are reading this, and as such will now know that the first part of my new video is out: I Wish You Were Here (instead of me), Part 1: Wheels of Anger! This is the story of a boy from Lancing, and his amazing 1986 Ford Escort going to Grnoble, 700 miles away! Have a look at it, you know you want to.
If you can't see the video, follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx0JeHM3wPI
Part 2: Even Angrier Skis of Fury will be out next week (and I think it's 200% better than part 1).
That didn't answer any questions, but it did plug this great new video(Am I the father to an expected bastard love child from a very short marriage or an open relationship with Miss Woman?)
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Worse than my own bloomin' mother
Before I completely character assasinate one of my friends, I have to say that Fella is a stand up guy. However...
Today, I drove into Uni for a meeting with one of my lecturers. Afterwards, I headed over Holly's house, and caught up with her, and Fella. After a while, Fella ripped me a new one for driving 11.5 hours accross France to get back from the Alps! Even my own mother did b*tch at me as much as he did! Good goodness, Fella told me off a good'n. Apparently, it was very irresponsible (which if I'm honest is true), and I should feel guilty.
But I don't. I wasn't tired, I didn't ache, and I wasn't uncomfortable. I am pleased that I can do some things that are remotely bloke-ish and irresponsible. It'll be something to tell the grandchildren (well, other people's grandchildren of course...). Seriously though, it's nice to think someone cares out about you, so thanks for caring Fella (although I think you were angrier that I gave into someone else's demands to get home early).
Just to prolong the legend of Ernie (of which I have received literally no messages of support, thanks for that) I filled up today. This should have been an expensive one, as I had to have the engine running for up to 30 minutes at times going nowhere, just to get the engine warmed up! Yet once again, Ernie has pulled through, and just sipped at petrol, costing about £5 less than I would have expected!
Today, I drove into Uni for a meeting with one of my lecturers. Afterwards, I headed over Holly's house, and caught up with her, and Fella. After a while, Fella ripped me a new one for driving 11.5 hours accross France to get back from the Alps! Even my own mother did b*tch at me as much as he did! Good goodness, Fella told me off a good'n. Apparently, it was very irresponsible (which if I'm honest is true), and I should feel guilty.
But I don't. I wasn't tired, I didn't ache, and I wasn't uncomfortable. I am pleased that I can do some things that are remotely bloke-ish and irresponsible. It'll be something to tell the grandchildren (well, other people's grandchildren of course...). Seriously though, it's nice to think someone cares out about you, so thanks for caring Fella (although I think you were angrier that I gave into someone else's demands to get home early).
Just to prolong the legend of Ernie (of which I have received literally no messages of support, thanks for that) I filled up today. This should have been an expensive one, as I had to have the engine running for up to 30 minutes at times going nowhere, just to get the engine warmed up! Yet once again, Ernie has pulled through, and just sipped at petrol, costing about £5 less than I would have expected!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Some things need saying...
First and foremostly, if you are on FaceBook - get a flippin' life! For those of you unaware (or if your normal, and just not interested) I changed my relationship status on FaceBook yesterday. Although I may have joked yesterday, I just wanted to delete the setting from my account, so that 'Relationship status' was blank. FaceBook decided to blurt to everyone that 'Andrew Clarke is no longer listed as 'single'.' Which is true, but no-one read it literally, everyone assumed that I had been fraternising around. Well, overnight, I received a record 13 messages! I have now reinstated the status as 'single' to stop the influx of comments.
Secondly, and more importantly to Ian - cheeky git! Read yesterday's comments, and you'll see what I mean. Ernie has never disappointed a passenger, and has steadfastly done everything asked of him (and more!). If you've been in my car, and you know what Ernie is, please comment, and your support to the most unbelievably capable car in the known universe!
PS - As per your advice Ian, I am looking into getting shares at W. Jones of Bognor. In the last year, the garage have made over £1000 out of me, and that would have been ebough to buy 3 and a third decent cars - well, three and a third 1986 Ford Escort Estate 1.4 GLs in champagne gold!
Secondly, and more importantly to Ian - cheeky git! Read yesterday's comments, and you'll see what I mean. Ernie has never disappointed a passenger, and has steadfastly done everything asked of him (and more!). If you've been in my car, and you know what Ernie is, please comment, and your support to the most unbelievably capable car in the known universe!
PS - As per your advice Ian, I am looking into getting shares at W. Jones of Bognor. In the last year, the garage have made over £1000 out of me, and that would have been ebough to buy 3 and a third decent cars - well, three and a third 1986 Ford Escort Estate 1.4 GLs in champagne gold!
Monday, February 02, 2009
It's been an odd day...
I woke up this morning at 8, all ready for a day at Uni. Unfortunately, mother nature was against me (as was my mother in fact - she wasn't keen on my skidding along the snow-filled roads). I thought about simply skiing along the Downs to Chichester, but then I remembered how much I hate skiing...
I love snow, and we see it so rarely here in the Florida of the UK. Unfortunately though, the snow meant I was trapped at home on a day when I was hoping to be at Uni. This meant a day of watching TV, and doing a few odd jobs. One of those odd jobs was to make a change to my relationship status on FaceBook.
After an exciting weekend in Brighton, where a young lady and I were up all night, and then had to visit the fmaily planning clinic the next morning, I felt that I should stop advertising myself as 'single'. I decided not saying anything was a better move, not realising that FaceBook would then shout about the fact - and that I would subsequently be beseiged with messages! Anyways, it provides some more grease for the NTC gossip wheels I suppose... Bugger.
ERNIE UPDATE: Well, the more cunning of you will realise that I didn't drive in the snow today, despite having the choice! Ernie is now repaired, and is all systems go (except the radio which doesn't work at all now...). Dave the mechanic said that it was the 'ignition module' (whatever the heck that is), and it was on it's way out anyway. This means two things: 1. Ernie is amazing (which I knew anyway) as he got us home, instead of stranding us in France; 2. The trip to Grenoble caused no problems, and was a faultless 1400 mile journey!
I love snow, and we see it so rarely here in the Florida of the UK. Unfortunately though, the snow meant I was trapped at home on a day when I was hoping to be at Uni. This meant a day of watching TV, and doing a few odd jobs. One of those odd jobs was to make a change to my relationship status on FaceBook.
After an exciting weekend in Brighton, where a young lady and I were up all night, and then had to visit the fmaily planning clinic the next morning, I felt that I should stop advertising myself as 'single'. I decided not saying anything was a better move, not realising that FaceBook would then shout about the fact - and that I would subsequently be beseiged with messages! Anyways, it provides some more grease for the NTC gossip wheels I suppose... Bugger.
ERNIE UPDATE: Well, the more cunning of you will realise that I didn't drive in the snow today, despite having the choice! Ernie is now repaired, and is all systems go (except the radio which doesn't work at all now...). Dave the mechanic said that it was the 'ignition module' (whatever the heck that is), and it was on it's way out anyway. This means two things: 1. Ernie is amazing (which I knew anyway) as he got us home, instead of stranding us in France; 2. The trip to Grenoble caused no problems, and was a faultless 1400 mile journey!
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