Hello all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (depending on when you're reading...). I've always thought of this time as some sort of bizarre, yet relaxed limbo between Christmas and New Year. As such, and as promised, this is a rather relaxed blog for me to write. I'm going to answer the comments left over the last few weeks, which means that I don't have to worry about being original...
Siobhan from Worthing writes...
You just made my Christmas =D
Not only does my laptop now make sound I had your 'pleasant' singing to listen to ;)
Happy Christmas =)
Reply As already stated, Merry Christmas, and I am pleased that I was able to make it for you, although I think it's really got something to do with Father Christmas, and his son Jesus... And I would like to know what you are trying to say by writing pleasant in speech marks - what do you mean, huh?
Anne Onymous from Outer Mongolia comments...
"I'm far too busy anyway" Pah! What a pathetic excuse, try this,when you see someone you really like go and steal a kiss it's the perfect time of year as long as you can produce some mistletoe you shouldn't get into too much trouble. If they look like they might slap you smile that lovely smile, if that fails to save your a*** RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Reply I'm sure this was a well meaning comment, but clearly Anne does not realise the sort of people that I hang around. This Christmas, I have been mainly at home (I'm not from Norfolk, so I'm not really in to that sort of thing...), or at various Christmas parties (where the person nearest my age was 18 [all sounds good] except he's MALE! the nearst aged female is late twenties and slightly pregnant). So kind of wasted advice there, but thanks anyway. And what does a*** mean? Arms perhaps...?
Rob from Crawley asks...
Hey ClarkeFace,
Howz life going? - Stupid question as you have just written about it.
Let me know your schedule for the next few weeks, as your have to come and check out my Crawley Penthouse.
Reply Yes, that was a stupid question - what else could you possibly want to know about my life? And I can't speak to you, because I'm already coming up to see your Crawley Penthouse, even though you didn't know about it. No I wasn't going to break in, but your Mum has invited me up for a suprise on your Birthday. And by know, you know exactly what that suprise was. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Siobhan still from Worthing announces...
Aha you do live! I was beginning to get worried...
My work computer seems to have had a rather large misbehaviour and has been pretending you haven't updated your blog for weeks... which apparently isn't true
Glad to see you're still with us :)
And Christmas sucks, thats just the way it is!!
Reply Someone else, clearly sharing in my festive mood. Bad mood that is. Yes I am still here. Romours of my death have been greaty exaggerated (or a quote similar to that anyway...). And good to see someone reading my blog instead of keeping the country's industry going (or in your case, keeping our floods at bay...)
Lashings of Custard (also known as Bev) from Worthing said...
You forgot to kiss it and say a prayer... the radio if you hit something you have to do the other two, works every time well maybe not.
Re your lovelife how about an older woman? you must be surrounded by them and you never know a bit of illicit snogging may just brighten their day! Just a thought.
One more thing why don't you comment on your comments, how do we know if we made you laugh or cry?
Reply Both laugh AND cry normally. What is it with people suggesting older women at the moment? Just how old do y'all think I am? Is it wrong for me to be looking for a young lady aged 18-22 (although I'm only getting older, so I guess my ideal age range is too...)? Is it me that's weird, or all of you lot? Lastly, kissing still doesn't work, and I'm all out of God points - I haven't visited a Church for quite some time.
Well thanks for not leaving many comments, and giving me a lovely realxed evening watching Channel 4's Big Fat Quiz of the Year. Have a good New Year all, and I'll be at a flat party of my friend Michael and his girlfriend Amy. See you there/ thanks for a good evening (depending of when you read this, should you choose to...)
If your New Year's resolution will be to never read this load of old rubbish again, why not leave a comment saying goodbye...
If your New Year's resolution is to forever read this blog, why not leave a message saying that you either have no life, or have a very dull job...
Quote of the Week: 'Was there a car chase?' asked a very tired mother of mine (there's only one Moo), as she inquired whether my new 5.1 Stereo Surround Sound system was the source of all the noise at midnight. It was.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Happy CATCOUK-mas everyone (as in 12 days of)
And of course, Merry Christmas to you all as well (although you are probably all reading this after the day, so consider it early for Christmas 2008).
As promised, here is the 2007 12 Days of CATCOUK-mas. As always, strong references to Terry Garoghan, who (back in the day) when he broadcast The Last Bus To Whitehawk on Southern FM (also back in the day, when it was actually good). Every year, he sung (with studio guest) 12 days of Christmas, that summarised the year.
(Don't worry, it's not a video - it's just the easiest way to upload an MP3)
Also, if you're interested, here's last years.
Lovely. Have a good one, and see you next week. By the way, someone this week, asked if I would reply to people's comments. And I do usually, around this time of year. So start leaving comments now, and I shall answer every single one next week (so don't leave too many...).
If you want an answer, why not leave a comment.
If you want a log post next week, why not leave a comment.
Quote of the Week: 'The Turkey Trotts' replied the doctor, when Mum described our symptoms (hers and mine), after eating some rather less than brilliant Turkey at a Christmas Party, followed by a night of being stuck to the toilet(s) (good job we have three), and loosing all of the dinner we had just eaten. Merry Christmas.
As promised, here is the 2007 12 Days of CATCOUK-mas. As always, strong references to Terry Garoghan, who (back in the day) when he broadcast The Last Bus To Whitehawk on Southern FM (also back in the day, when it was actually good). Every year, he sung (with studio guest) 12 days of Christmas, that summarised the year.
(Don't worry, it's not a video - it's just the easiest way to upload an MP3)
Also, if you're interested, here's last years.
Lovely. Have a good one, and see you next week. By the way, someone this week, asked if I would reply to people's comments. And I do usually, around this time of year. So start leaving comments now, and I shall answer every single one next week (so don't leave too many...).
If you want an answer, why not leave a comment.
If you want a log post next week, why not leave a comment.
Quote of the Week: 'The Turkey Trotts' replied the doctor, when Mum described our symptoms (hers and mine), after eating some rather less than brilliant Turkey at a Christmas Party, followed by a night of being stuck to the toilet(s) (good job we have three), and loosing all of the dinner we had just eaten. Merry Christmas.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Oh God - it's Christmas
To get this week's title, you'll need to think Christmas music.
I'm not a grinch, but I'm beginning to find Christmas less and less fun. My main reason for my dislike of this festive time of year, is that it completely disrupts my life. As self-centred as that may sound, it does mean that I have to spend more time at home. And it kills me having nothing to do.
But I'm not a complete hum bug. My car for example, is not an average car. It would therefore be criminal for me to completely disregard it at this merry time of year. The first year that I had Ernie, I decorated him quite subtly with a small piece of blue tinsel accross the dash board. Last year I inherited a set of 12v (run off the cigar lighter) fairy lights. And when I say 'fairy', I mean 'fairy' in the Brighton sense if you know what I mean. After all, the lights are pink! But they were free, so I'm not complaining.
This year, I have added a string in the back, to hang all of my Christmas cards on. I have some pegs on the string, so that the cards don't migrate to the centre of the string. This allows me to have some rear visibility. Excellent - so that's not a distraction to driving at all then... I'd love to show you some photos, but as my phone is bug*ered again, I can't.
It's a good job that I have that string up really. Working in a school provides a number of dangers. One is that fact that you are constantly at risk of catching the lurgy currently floating around the school. Another is that you are likely to recieve half of the Amazon rainforest in Christmas Cards. No really - I've lost count! To make matters worse, I've opened some cards, and I haven't got the faintest clue who's written. That's the problem with working accross several different classes - it's difficult to remember 150 chlidren's names.
One thing that I won't miss from my busy week is hearing a cadet band play Christmas tunes. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over... Don't get me wrong. The award winning band of TS Sturdy play the tunes very well. They just get a bit tiresome. Especially bleedin' 'Little Donkey'! That tune drives me mad!!! It's at times like that, I wish my hearing didn't work.
And talking of things not working, it's not just my phone that's on the fritz. The radio in my car is also non-operational. Today, after being bored of listening to silence for three weeks, I decide to investigate the problem. After some technical inspections, I found that the sound system is fine, but the radio itself isn't outputting any sound. With my top rate skills, and using some very technical engineering techniques (I hit the unit several times), I found that I was unable to rectify the problem. So I am now looking for a new unit. Ironically, I do have a new radio, but no key code for it. Damn.
Everything is winding down now at school. On Friday we hired in some people to show us (and the kids I suppose) a movie. Well, not being one to shirk on my responsibilities, I of course reviewed the movie, for all my faithful readers. The film was Ratatouille (if that's spelt right). It's all about a Rat that loves to cook. Typical isn't it - even a cartoon rat can cook better than I. Anyways, it was an entertaining film, with the real meaning being all about racial acceptance. I give this film an ammusing 4 Escorts out of 5.
4 Escorts out of 5 - a suprisingly entertaining film for all the family.
This Friday also saw the second and third of five Christmas parties. The first was several weeks ago, care of TS Sturdy. It was a fantastic meal, and my sincere thanks go to Robin E for organising it - very tasty. The second was the NTC cadet's party. One of my most trusted senior cadets happens to be very good at organising these sorts of events, and so she did. And a brilliant job too, I might add.
But the most fun event so far was Friday evening. Informal drinks at a colleague's house. Unfortunatly, because I know that some of the students at our school have found this blog I can't say who was there or why, or even much of what happenned, despite the fact that there are some great stories. But as with every social occasion, it didn't take long for the topic of conversation to turn to my 'love life' or lack there of. Yet again, this group of friends took it upon themselves to suggest ways that I could rectify this problem.
So I would just like to clear things up. I have tried every method that I feel is available to me to start a relationship. I have failed at all attempts, and I just don't care any more. If someone is crazy enough to want a relationship with me, then they can bloomin' well ask. I just don't care anymore. But as we eventually decided upon at this Christmas party - I'm far too busy anyway, so I'm not going to worry about it.
Well, next week's post will be leading us into that final Christmas week. So watch out for what I am hoping is becoming a CATCOUK tradition. Coming next week - the 12 days of CATCOUK-mas.
If you don't bother reading before the big day next week, have a good one, especially my guest writers, and participants of various different CATCOUK posts, from the whole team here at CATCOUK (well okay, me).
If you like Christmas, and think that I am a scrooge, why not leave a comment.
If you don't like Christmas, don't think you're the same as me - I'll get into it around 2358 on Monday 24th December.
Quote of the week: 'So I said, 'Try using talcum powder'.' I wish I could explain that quote...
I'm not a grinch, but I'm beginning to find Christmas less and less fun. My main reason for my dislike of this festive time of year, is that it completely disrupts my life. As self-centred as that may sound, it does mean that I have to spend more time at home. And it kills me having nothing to do.
But I'm not a complete hum bug. My car for example, is not an average car. It would therefore be criminal for me to completely disregard it at this merry time of year. The first year that I had Ernie, I decorated him quite subtly with a small piece of blue tinsel accross the dash board. Last year I inherited a set of 12v (run off the cigar lighter) fairy lights. And when I say 'fairy', I mean 'fairy' in the Brighton sense if you know what I mean. After all, the lights are pink! But they were free, so I'm not complaining.
This year, I have added a string in the back, to hang all of my Christmas cards on. I have some pegs on the string, so that the cards don't migrate to the centre of the string. This allows me to have some rear visibility. Excellent - so that's not a distraction to driving at all then... I'd love to show you some photos, but as my phone is bug*ered again, I can't.
It's a good job that I have that string up really. Working in a school provides a number of dangers. One is that fact that you are constantly at risk of catching the lurgy currently floating around the school. Another is that you are likely to recieve half of the Amazon rainforest in Christmas Cards. No really - I've lost count! To make matters worse, I've opened some cards, and I haven't got the faintest clue who's written. That's the problem with working accross several different classes - it's difficult to remember 150 chlidren's names.
One thing that I won't miss from my busy week is hearing a cadet band play Christmas tunes. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over... Don't get me wrong. The award winning band of TS Sturdy play the tunes very well. They just get a bit tiresome. Especially bleedin' 'Little Donkey'! That tune drives me mad!!! It's at times like that, I wish my hearing didn't work.
And talking of things not working, it's not just my phone that's on the fritz. The radio in my car is also non-operational. Today, after being bored of listening to silence for three weeks, I decide to investigate the problem. After some technical inspections, I found that the sound system is fine, but the radio itself isn't outputting any sound. With my top rate skills, and using some very technical engineering techniques (I hit the unit several times), I found that I was unable to rectify the problem. So I am now looking for a new unit. Ironically, I do have a new radio, but no key code for it. Damn.
Everything is winding down now at school. On Friday we hired in some people to show us (and the kids I suppose) a movie. Well, not being one to shirk on my responsibilities, I of course reviewed the movie, for all my faithful readers. The film was Ratatouille (if that's spelt right). It's all about a Rat that loves to cook. Typical isn't it - even a cartoon rat can cook better than I. Anyways, it was an entertaining film, with the real meaning being all about racial acceptance. I give this film an ammusing 4 Escorts out of 5.
4 Escorts out of 5 - a suprisingly entertaining film for all the family.
This Friday also saw the second and third of five Christmas parties. The first was several weeks ago, care of TS Sturdy. It was a fantastic meal, and my sincere thanks go to Robin E for organising it - very tasty. The second was the NTC cadet's party. One of my most trusted senior cadets happens to be very good at organising these sorts of events, and so she did. And a brilliant job too, I might add.
But the most fun event so far was Friday evening. Informal drinks at a colleague's house. Unfortunatly, because I know that some of the students at our school have found this blog I can't say who was there or why, or even much of what happenned, despite the fact that there are some great stories. But as with every social occasion, it didn't take long for the topic of conversation to turn to my 'love life' or lack there of. Yet again, this group of friends took it upon themselves to suggest ways that I could rectify this problem.
So I would just like to clear things up. I have tried every method that I feel is available to me to start a relationship. I have failed at all attempts, and I just don't care any more. If someone is crazy enough to want a relationship with me, then they can bloomin' well ask. I just don't care anymore. But as we eventually decided upon at this Christmas party - I'm far too busy anyway, so I'm not going to worry about it.
Well, next week's post will be leading us into that final Christmas week. So watch out for what I am hoping is becoming a CATCOUK tradition. Coming next week - the 12 days of CATCOUK-mas.
If you don't bother reading before the big day next week, have a good one, especially my guest writers, and participants of various different CATCOUK posts, from the whole team here at CATCOUK (well okay, me).
If you like Christmas, and think that I am a scrooge, why not leave a comment.
If you don't like Christmas, don't think you're the same as me - I'll get into it around 2358 on Monday 24th December.
Quote of the week: 'So I said, 'Try using talcum powder'.' I wish I could explain that quote...
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Guess who's back...
Firstly, if you can't guess who, then you really should consider why you are reading this. Guests always welcome...
Apologies for last week. But hey, that happens...
I would like to start this week's post off by shamelessly promoting a new project that I am working on, by enticing you to see something ammusing. I am currently working on a brand new national website for the Nautical Training Corps (NTC - Current Website). Because the Corps is, quite frankly, useless when it comes to responsing to requests, I have made a political statement on the new design. I haven't used any pictures, because I want people from accross the organisation to send me stuff. In the place of normal photos, I made my own picture. Somewhat changes the feel of the website wouldn't you say?
Please check it out, and give me some feedback. I want this to be the easiest website to use! Whilst you're there, check out my picture...
So far, I should add, the response from the Corps has been good. I have had responses from: Intrepid (mu unit, suprise suprise), Implacable, Attentive, Hood, Lion, and Sturdy (about to be sent). Thanks to everyone that has replied thus far...
Two weeks ago, I presented you all with a brand new style of blogging - the PLOG! I have to say, the response to it was staggering. I have had literally no messages telling what a good idea it was. This isn't some sarcastic fish for comments, I just wanted to say that I have achieved a 'Top Gear' - I aimed high, and failed. I think that could be the first recorded use of 'Top Gear' as a noun in that sense.
Yes, it was another unremarkable week this week, which kind of makes writing a post difficult. Thursday night was another pub meet with my friend Michael. I found out that he's finished at University for the year. Don't these university students do any work anymore? I mean I'll still be working until Friday 21st December this year!
Which brings me to a sad point actually. I only have a few more weeks of work at Chesswood Middle School, until (if I get it sorted out) I have to move onto my third and final university placement. I am really sad to be moving on, as I have had a great time at the school (as I always do), and I will really miss it.
That links me nicely to a school trip I went on on Friday. Well, not really a trip, but I don't really know how to describe it. On Thursday, the deputy head (who is a legend), Dennis saw my and asked if I could take some children to the local church for, and I quote: 'Something to do with Christmas trees.' Armed with, what many people could consider too much information, I walked the three children down to St. Georges Church.
Normally I happily advertise charitable events that I know about. Unfortunatly, it's too late now, as it finished on Sunday. We arrived at the Church for a Christmas Tree festival, and it turns out that the kids had designed and made a load of decorations, and decorated a plastic tree. I know what you're all thinking, a load of childish, poorly made decorations. So was I. What I found was BRILLIANT! I honestly felt that it was the best tree, and not just because I work at Chesswood. The kids had made loads of small school jumpers, a large star for each class, with the class name on, another load of stars with each school trip they'd been on (and they're Year 7 - so that'd nearly every school trip), enough cut out men/ kids (you know, the paper chain kind) to represent every child in the school, and to cap it off - the Head Teacher was the fairy/ angel. Brilliant. So, if you posesses a vehicle capable of travelling back in time (maybe it has a flux capacitor, and the capacity to make 1.21 JigaWatts of power) why not visit the festival, and vote for us!
Our shining star - Our head teacher. I daren't use his name, in case someone important is looking him up...
Friday was also the last day for two of our training teachers (before going back to Uni). They were really good, and we shall miss them. To give them something to remember us by, we gave them both a photo album. Whilst Tracy (one of my colleagues) went around with her camera she took the photo below. This photo then made it onto the school's plasma TV Screen in reception that represents all that the school does. Marvellous...
Welcome to Chesswood Middle School - always thinking about your children (when we're not thinking about cake...)
And that brings us to the end of this post, and to the end of my evening. Before I retire to my bed, I have just enough time to remind you to check out www.ntc.org.uk/HTML to give me some feedback on the new NTC website!
If you haven't checked out the new NTC website, why not click here, check it out, and give me some feedback.
If you have checked out the new NTC website, leave some feedback. Please!
Quote of the Week: 'I have broken out - the emergency tie.' Said I, having put on my emergency that I keep in my car, realising that I had to meet the Worthing Town Mayor at the Christman Tree Festival.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Has anyone got a torch?
Apologies, but due to some personal issues I am going through at the moment, there will be no post this week. To be honest I'm in such a dark place at the moment, I only just found where I put my laptop...
On the bright side, I am currently redesigning the national official website of the Nautical Training Corps. As a political statement, I haven't included any photos in the design yet, as last time, no one offered any photos from the other units in the corps. So have a look over the new website, tell me what you think, not only of the new design, but of my beautiful artwork...
You can see the new NTC website (currently known as the 2008 project) at
www.ntc.org.uk/HTML
See you all next week. Hopefully the sun will come out this week.
Happy December by the way.
Tune of the Month: This is the Life. Amy MacDonald.
On the bright side, I am currently redesigning the national official website of the Nautical Training Corps. As a political statement, I haven't included any photos in the design yet, as last time, no one offered any photos from the other units in the corps. So have a look over the new website, tell me what you think, not only of the new design, but of my beautiful artwork...
You can see the new NTC website (currently known as the 2008 project) at
www.ntc.org.uk/HTML
See you all next week. Hopefully the sun will come out this week.
Happy December by the way.
Tune of the Month: This is the Life. Amy MacDonald.
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