Half Term blues...

Good day one and all.

I know that you've all logged on to read about the very exciting antic that I've got up to this week, but to be honest, it's been a pretty uninteresting week. Having said that, I feel my perspective is ever so slightly biased by what happened on Friday...

On Tuesday, I accompanied by friend Michael to Brighton. Him and his cousin recently bought a Mk IV Escort (same as my car) Cabriolet (Ernie has a roof though...). They are taking it to bits, and are salvaging parts for their cars, and selling the rest (some parts I have had...). It was good taking the car apart. Being almost identical (except for the lack of roof) to my car (Ernie the Escort), it's allowed me to see what actually is involved with taking my car to bits. I'm always nervous about taking stuff apart, in case I can't get it back together again! But as this car was being taken apart for good, it didn't really matter.

Once the interior was out, taking other things out was easy. Well, I say easy, one of the previous owners had painted over bolts, and done other bizarre things. Then there was the constant bashing of my elbow on metal, and even worse, was when I nutted the bare handbrake level with my knee-cap. I went home feeling like I'd been involved in a bar brawl with a load of midgets...

I've been off of work all this week, as it's HALF TERM!!!! I love working in schools, and I love half term (especially as a TA). I know that my teaching colleagues have all been busy writing reports, and doing various bits of marking, and lesson planning, but as a Teaching Assistant, I've just relaxed. Although I do find the gross level of inactivity very frustrating.

In Thursday, I wondered over the University (in Chichester), and saw some lecturers. I also met up with my friend Holly (as she was down for a couple of days). I always enjoy seeing my friends from Uni - I do miss them, and I can't wait to catch up with them all in September. It's also great to catch up on all the gossip!

Thursday evening saw me meet up with some friends from even further back, from my dark and depressing days at college. An interesting night out, involving many unrepeatable conversations...

Having met so many of my friends, you have wonder if this is all building up to something. And yes. Rather cleverly, I manage to keep my birthday under wraps every year, and only those closest to me remember from year to year. Last year, I blurted it out whilst on a residential trip to Lanzarote, when an assessment date was announced (same as my birthday). What followed was the best birthday I have ever had, and I still want to thank all my friends that made that such a great day. This year, I'd kept it much better concealed, and I nearly got away with it.

I should explain, that whilst I do like receiving cards, and presents, on the whole I don't really enjoy my birthday. It just reminds me that I am another year older, and whilst I am doing lots and lots, I still don't really have much of a personal life. It just gets me down a bit.

Despite being my 21st birthday (which many people regard as a really important one, but I really don't care) I went to NTC as normal on Friday evening. A couple of cadets wished me happy birthday (some of whom may have seen on Bebo or FaceBook I guess). But some couldn't possible have known, and I was starting to wonder how the flippin' heck they knew. Well at Stand Easy (break), I found out. The boss announced to all the cadets (I though he was about to tell them off) that it was someone's birthday... The kids had all signed a card, the boss' wife (and my godmother) had made a cake, and they's all clubbed together to buy me a very bright pen (because I'm always complaining that my pens get nicked). Thanks very much guys - just wait until camp, I will get you back.

At the end of the evening, everyone took home a piece of birthday cake, and several parents asked about it. Many obviously thinking I was mad spening my birthday at NTC, and not getting rat-arsed at a club or pub. My colleagues from work thought exactly the same, when I met them in Worthing for a drink. One of them knew my birthday was somewhen in half-term, but didn't know it was that evening, and I owned up to it being my birthday.

Most people asked what I got for my birthday, and to be honest, I wasn't really after anything. My brother got me Life on Mars series 2, and everyone gave me money. When I went to the hole in the wall, it normally tells me how much I owe the bank. But apparently, I have some money at the moment. Added to my birthday money, I have decided to buy myself a birthday present - a second vehicle.

It's important to say that - I AM NOT GETTING RID OF ERNIE. He's still a classic, and bomb-proof car, and there's no way I'm selling him. But, with current petrol prices being near the moon, I can now afford to run a second vehicle again. And as I'm now 21, my license has also been upgraded - I can now drive any powered MOTORBIKE! I stopped riding my old Hongdou (dodgy Chinese copy of a Honda CG125) two years ago, when I could no longer afford to run both Harry the Hongdou, and Ernie the Escort. I needed my car more, so the bike had to go. But now I'm going to get a bike again. And this time, it will be a real Honda.

To find out what I'm going to get (or have got), you'll have to tune in next week.

Thaknks for all the birthday cards, presents, and FaceBook messages - they do make my birthday bareable.

If you now know the date of my birthday, why not leave a message with your address, so that I can get you brainwashed.

If you still don't know when my birthday is, why not leave a message, and keep it that way.

Quote of the Week: '21 again is it?' asked one of my cadet's parents, just before I sheepishly explained this was my first 21st birthday... Do I really look that old?

A Rather Special Day...

As many of you will know and some may not today is Andy's 21st Birthday!

So, I have barged my way in here to say


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!


Have a great day full of much alcahol and cake!


Commander Clarke, on the flying bridge of a Ford Escort...

Partario

How could I forget?

It was Sunday night last night, and I forgot. After a long after noon or paperwork, and an evening of shuffleboard in Chichester with TS Sturdy, I was just about ready to settle down to my book, and some sleep. Completely forgetting that I hadn't written anything for this week's blog! How could I...?

I have to start this week's blog with the events of Monday evening. After band practice, I was dropping one of our junior officers off home, with another of our officer who I was taking back to Littlehampton. When I stopped to kick Hannah out of the car, she pointed out her neighbour's skip, which had a wind surf board sitting on top of it.

I told her to grab one end of the board, whilst I grabbed the other. Then we dashed as quickly and as quietly as we could up the road (so the house owners wouldn't see us). I then ran back for my car, and drove up to the board. As quickly as I could, I started securing the board to my roofrack. Just as I was completing the last knot, a burley silhouette came from the house.

Being iun Lancing, and fearing the wosrt, I bundled Louise back into the car, said bye to Hannah, and jumped in to Ernie. I was just about to turn the ignition over when...

"Stop!" said Hannah.

"What?" I replied (a little nervously).

"The man says... do you want the poles?"

We couldn't believe it! We retrieved the poles from the older gentlemen's garage (not burley at all). I apologised for our subterfuge, and thanked him for his donation. So the NTC now has a windsurf board (no sails though...). Not that that matters though, we haven't a qualified windsurf instructor...

With that bit of excitement, everything else this week seems pretty mundane. Normal week in school. Although from Wednesday to Friday, we had 'Enable Me' in. They're a disabilty awareness group, and the kids really enjoyed the experience (lots of playing about in wheelchairs...). At the end of the week, I noticed a queue of kids waiting to get one of the guys autographs. Swasie I think his name is, had lost a leg, but that hadn't really stopped him. He and his wheelchair had got to some incredible places!

Saturday was the NTC's fun auction. Another cracking evening of entertainment. But I have to say, not only do we have a great group of kids at the moment, we also have some brilliant parents. In recent years, we've really been used like cheap child care on a Friday evening. But lots of our parents are really keen, and taking as interest. A huge thank you to all of our supporters - we really couldn't carry on without you.

So now it's Monday morning, and I imagine you're wondering why I'm not at work. Well boys and girls, two wonderful words - Half and Term. So all this week, I going to enjoy a week off work. Dad asked me this morning what my aims for the week are. I told him 'just to chill'. With the busy few weeks I've had, I don't feel in the least guilty.

Take care all.

If you're disgusted that this post was nearly forgotten, why not leave a comment telling us all of how often you write a blog.

If you're just pleased to have a post to read, why not leave a comment to encourage me for next week.

Quote of the Week: 'Do you want the poles?' said the man. It was hilarious.

The Forms, the Audi, and the Ofsted Inspector

Hello all. I should just explain that the title is a play on 'The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe', as our Year 4s have had an Opera company in all week, producing an operatic Narnia. And it was fantastic. Congratulations and Welld Done to classes 4IS and 4HS of Chesswood Middle School - you were all awesome!

Welcome to another award loosing post from CATCOUK.

So this week started off with some exceptional stresses. The school that I work in, and indeed the school that I really love to work in (yes that's right, I really enjoy my job) had it's Ofsted inspection. Now, I'm only a Teaching Asst. (and probably not a very good one at that either), so there was nothing I really had to do, other than turn up, and do my job well. But I also felt the need to support the teachers (and my friends) to best of my abilities.

Despite the fact that I had no direct stresses on me for the inspection, it's suprising just how easily I pick up on my friends stress. Two friends, Ian and Jez, are senior management members, and they had piles and piles of paperwork to do. I just felt so stressed for the ammount of workload those two had to put in.

Having said that, I did take it upon myself to make sure that some of the school's classroom displays were good. Ian wanted a 'Helping Hand' board, and I started helping with that. Once the design work was done on that, Ian's TA Nicky finished the job off. Whilst she was doing that, I was in year 7, putting up two displays. A quick reminder to myself, and anyone else that is ever going to have to make a display - don't use clouds! They take friggin' forever to cut up!

On the day of the inspection itself, I had to miss one lesson. Due to other TAs moving around, if I had attended my lesson as usual, there would have been too many TAs in the class. As lesson observations were going on, I decided the best place for me to hide out was the staffroom. I very much doubted the inspector would look in there (and she didn't).

But, throughout the whole day, I wasn't observed once, and niether were any of the classes where I had put up a display. So I didn't really contribute at all to the result. And how did we do? Unfortunatly I can't say until the official report is published. All I can say is this. The grin on Dennis' face (our deputy head teacher) went from ear to ear...

After Ofsted, I was knackered. I think Siobhan text me, and I was due to go to Sturdy's band. I think I just fell into bed. I then got back out of bed, and carried on doing what I've been doing all week. With my recent promotion to the NTC's Adventure Activities Director, I have been trawling through the Corps' safety paperwork, and trying to get rid of some, simplify others, and just give a general look of uniformity.

I'm in two minds as to my success. On the one hand, I know that on a day to day operational level, I have reduced the ammount of paperwork that we have to do. On the other hand, I have created loads of forms, but these are just to standardise existing ones. And to be fair, there are some new ones for best practice and legislative reasons. Will every other volunteer adult in the Corps hate me after the National Council (like the NTCs government) aprove the changes? Well most people dislike me anyway, so what's the difference... lol

Once again, the local church youth group was running a charity car wash. I've no idea what they were fundraising for, but the cheap child labour costs, and the chance of getting Ernie cleaned were all I needed to hear. And they did a pretty good job too. Unfortunatly, Ernie let me down a little. It took two attempts to start after being washed. And when he was finally running, a huge cloud of oily smoke came out the back, for all onlookers (mainly from the church) to breath in. Who said anything about emmisions testing...?

Talking of classic cars, I could not write a post this week, and not spend a paragraph raving about the 'Ashes to Ashes', the spin off series of the amazing 'Life On Mars'. Gene Hunt is back, and back with a vengance. A flame red Audi Quattro ('Let's fire up the Quattro!'), the 1980s, a very attractive lady, and a speed boat. I have no words to describe what a great program it was. It comes highly recommended from me. And if you want a quote, try this - 'Unecessarily cool!' If you were such a muppet that you didn't know it was back on, or you just didn't see it, don't worry. It's on BBC iPlayer.

Lastly, I spent some time this weekend actually doing that other NTC job that I have. That's right, I actually did some paperwork for good old TS Intrepid NTC. Although I still haven't publicised the charity auction next week enough. If you would like to come and support us on Saturday night, for an evening on fun, come along next Saturday (16th February) to our HQ. Entrance is free, just donate something for us to sell. It's a brilliant evening, especially if we can get my mate Kevin along. He'll normally buy all the rubbish no-one else wants.

If you thought this was a short post, why not leave a comment to read and make it longer.

If you thought this post was just right, why not leave a comment telling me so.

Quote of the Week: 'If you place your bets correctly [in roulette], you nearly always win!' said my less than intelligent sibling, Ian, after a fake gambling night, as if he had just found the key to winning bets. Well actually, if you place your bets right, you should win all the time. But then isn't that the point of gambling? Thicko.

Which brings me to my joke of the week: 'I lost my girlfriend through gambling. Do you know how I can win her back?' (Somewhen on the Chris Moyles show this week)

Why do I keep doing this anyway?

First and foremostly, if anyone can tell me why I do this every week, I'd appreciate you telling me. We've arrived at another Sunday evening (for me), but more than likely a weekday morning/evening for you, and once again, I'm wondering why on Earth I'm writing this dribble. Mind you, I suppose you guys are wondering why you are reading this dribble. Thanks for comments all.

The reason I feel that I have to ask this, is that I have another job to keep me busy. Last week, I was officially approached by the Chief of Staff of the Nautical Training Corps, to accept a National position. After discussions with colleagues that I've seen, I have decided to accept the 'promotion'. I am now Commander Andy Clarke NTC, Chief Staff Officer, Adventure Activities Director (AAD). Well, as good as. The Chief of Staff has appoiunted me, but I believe National Council need to approve it.

So, with this new position, my current position of Activities Officer of TS Intrepid, a national webmaster, my job, and university, I'm pretty bloomin' busy. So why oh why, am I still writing this? I think I need professional help...

This was a good week at Chesswood (to start with). Tuesday was a school trip to Hertsmonceux (a Science centre and observatory in East Sussex). The place was brilliant. Loads of hands on science stuff for the kids to do (and the adults too...). Even the journey was okay. They have built a nw flyover at Bedingham. For those that aren't local, or don't travel further East than Lewis, this is a major traffic spot, because of the railway. But they now have a bridge. What once took hours to get through, took a matter of maybe 2 minutes. Amazing!

Wednesday was also a good day. As I may have mentioned (although I can't really remember), Year 7 are currently studying Sex Education (handy for me also I suppose). Wednesday, the boys went into a classroom for an all male talk (what we dub the 'willy washing talk'), whilst all the girls went for an all female talk. As one of the Year 7 men, I went to crowd control the boys. For years, this session has been run by Dennis, our deputy Head, but next year, the Year 7 leader, and my friend, Jez, will need to give the talk. Which is an issue.

Any talk of genitals makes Jez feel queezy, and can make him gag. So as you can imagine, this talk isn't a great subject for him. To be honest, I only went into the class to watch Jez gag... Amazingly, I think he only gagged once, and handled the whole topic well. The next day, I did say that I was impressed. He replied, don't look up Smegma on Wikipedia. It will make you gag. Especially don't read it, whilst eating your shredded wheat!

On Thursday, this brilliant week hit a brick wall. I spent all morning looking fir Frisbees, in the persisting rain. I retuurned at Lunch time, with no frisbees, and very soggy. Quite peeved, I grumpily warmed my lunch, and sat down moodily. Once I sat down, a normally quite 'easy-going' teacher rushed up to me, and said that we needed to get our heads together before her lesson on Tueday. I said okay, what did she have planned. She didn't know yet. Naturally I was quite confused why we'd need to chat urgently before hand, if there was nothing special on...

Little did we know, but earlier that morning, we recieved a phone call. 'Hello, Ofsted here. We'll see you Tuesday morning...'. We now get two working days notice before a 1 or 2 long inspection (we're only getting one day). The staff were told at Lunch time (before I returned to school). So I didn't know. Of course, the above conversation kind of makes sense now...

Funniest of all though, is our Head Teacher was out at a conference at the Grand Hotel in Brighton (Head Teacher's thing). Because he was in conference, Dennis (deputy) couldn't contact him until lunch. We had to do some paperwork by the end of the day, so David (Head) rushed back from Brighton. I'm sure he must have got a Police escort... He burst into the staff room, grabbing some stuff, saying that he was quite miffed. He left just as they were about to serve lunch at The Grand. Ha ha... (I may not have a job after he reads this...). Sorry David, it's not funny really...

So, with all the stress, it's amazing that any of us are still going. Keep sane everyone.

(By the way, I have text you Si, on both numbers that I have for you. Have you changed your number, or do I merit a reply?)

If you don't have time, why not leave a comment (after all, I didn't have time to write this).

If you do have time, why not leave a comment (saying where you got the time from).

Quote of the Week: 'When Linda leaves, she's getting a Grand Father Clock!' I explained to Gill who has left Adult Ed, that we give out bigger clocks for longer service.

Tune of the Month: (still no radio in the car, but I do have Listen Again/ On Demand from the BBC) Teenagers. My Chemical Romance.