I mounted Snowdon.

Before I start this week, I should say that when I say I mounted Snowdon, I am refering the 1085m high mountain in Snowdonia, not my friend Louise (who's surname is also Snowdon)...

Well, I hope you all enjoyed my little video last week. Although I was a little miffed at it not being on YouTube on time (I uploaded it on Tuesday week before last!), I did enjoy the week off. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see last week's post.

My reason for the video last week, was of course so that I could swan off to Snowdonia at last (hurrah!) to do some Mountaineering. Once again, Ernie prooved himself invaluable, and went all 730 miles to the mountains and back. Once again, we skyrocketed along the motorways (at nearly 90), and we got there in a little over 6 hours.

Ernie parked up at the Campsite near Trefan (in the background).

The weather was absolutly brilliant. Friday, we went to Llanberis (pronounced Clan-) lake, had dinner at Pete's Eats (the BEST cafe in the world - a whole pint of Ribena!), and finished up in a packed small pub. Saturday was also pretty good, which was convenient, as we wanted to do some more serious climbing.The 'crew'. From right to left: Bec, Phil, Kez, Me.

Some of you may remember that last year, I went to Snowdonia, and almost died falling off a mountain called Trefan (the perilous East face, known as the most difficult, and the most committing). Well, I almost died, but I definatly needed a new pair of pants when we reached the top. This year, we climbed it again, but up a different face, and it was brilliant. Fairly sunny, and nice and warm. Well, warm until we climbed over a ridge, and got hit by a very strong ice-cold wind. Oh yes, that was cold.
Climbs on the North face that we climbed. This looks really friendly and easy compared with last year's attempt on the East Face...

I wore a T-Shirt all the way to the top. As I said it was cold, and Phil did accuse me of 'smuggling peanuts'. When we reached the top though, it was far too cold, and I had to put a jacket on.

The next day, we decided it would be silly to go to Snowdonia, and not climb Snowdon (I guess we were pretty silly last year then). So we did.Ernie parked at the bottom of Mount Snowdon (just above all that cloud...)

When we woke up on the Sunday morning (bearing in mind how warm and sunny the weather had been) I was mildly shocked to see alot of cloud. ALOT of cloud. No sunshine anywhere. But we climbed Snowdon anyway. The view was spectacular. I have an artists impression below...

Yep, that's what the inside of a cloud looks like. The visibilty at the top was about 5 metres. In fact, from the top of the mountain at the 'Trig point' (monument if you like), you couldn't see the bottom of the steps that lead down from the Trig! There was definatly a need for some very good navigation skills there.


The path we took up, is called the Watkins Trail. At the bottom, there was a sign telling visitors about the trail, and it's history. Bec decided to read it aloud for us, while I took a photo to read later. According to what she read out, you used to be able to go up this track with a Horse and Cart. So naturally, we all thought 'great'. If horse and cart could get up it, we'd have no trouble. At first, it was pretty easy going (bearing in mind that I have never climbed Snowdon before). But once we got past a slate mine, the path got particularly steep, and we started to believe that it was bloomin' strong horse that used this track, and the cart must have been an early fore-runner to the Land Rover.

Horse and Cart stories - this is the info at the bottom of the trail.


The final 200 metres to the summit was like climbing a ladder, and if a horse had ever made it up this bit of the trail, it was probably one of the most talented mountaineers to ever grace the planet. When I returned home, I read what I had on my photo that I had taken. It turns out that Bec didn't read enough. Unsuprisngly, Horse and Cart only went as high up as the slate mine.


During this past week, I have finally returned to Chesswood Middle School (I didn't realise I had missed teaching so much), where I volunteer as a classroom assistant. I was really glad I went in this week, because I got to disect a pig!


Jez (the teacher I work with) thought it would help the kids understand biology if they could see the organs. Lovely. There would be two sessions, for two classes, and Jez took his class first. So Jez cut up 'Barry' the pig for these 10 year olds to see. Most of the boys were really into it (blood and guts and all that). The girls tended to be in two groups: there were those that were looking a little green, but very interested; and there were those that just thought it was disgusting (although only one threw up... lol).

For the second session, the teacher was a bit squeamish about cutting up 'Barry'. So I got to do it!!! I showed the pig to the class. Jez had put a tube down the throat, and into the lung, so he could blow it up. Easy. I went to do the same, but my tube couldn't get into the right bit of lung, because the tube was too wide! So instead, I was inspired by all the scenes from Casualty (I would say Tracheotomy but I don't know how to spell that), and took a Biro, and stuck it in the lung.


My plan had been to stick the tube on the end of the Biro, and then blow the lung up. Unfortunatly, the tube didn't fit, so I had to almost 'cuddle' the organs of this pig to get my mouth on the end of the Biro. Lovely. At least it worked, and the kids got to see the lungs go. The things I do in the name of education...

For more pictures from my trip, go to CATCOUK2 at catcouk.bebo.com, where you can also see last week's video.

I don't know whether you can tell this from reading it, but I am very tired (you may have noticed, fewer bad jokes). If you'd like to know why I'm tired, don't miss next week's post (what a link....)!

If you think I should have thought of something to write here, why not leave a comment telling me how much you hate me.


If you think that I need to get a life, rather than writing my blog, why not leave a comment suggesting I get a life.


Quote of the Week: 'Do you need an R [for the Treasure Hunt]?' asked Louise, pointing at what she thought was a rubber glove, but was actually a used condom. Bless.

Life On Mars Bar

[See last week's post (A Trailer, a Shoprider, a Roofrack, and another trailer...) before reading this week]

At last, YouTube has processed the CI5 - Complete Idiot:5 feature film.

Click Here to see the film.

See you all next week.

Let down again...

Sorry folks. YouTube has let us all down. As soon as YouTube has processed it, I'll put the address up.

On the bright side, I had a great time in Snowdonia, and I'll tell you all about it next week

A Trailer, a Shoprider, a Roofrack, and anther Trailer...

Over the past few weeks, some of you may recall me harping on about my new towbar, and towing. Well good news everyone! I know have a trailer as well!!!

On Monday, I was given a trailer for FREE!! (Hurrah). Before you ask, no I didn't steal, it genuinely was given to me. But (as with all things for free), there is a little bit of work needed. And, as you've probably guessed, when I say a little, I mean ALOT. My Dad and I went and picked it up, and it was full of garden rubbish. We emptied the trailer of the rubbish, and realised there was some soil at the bottom. Unfortunatly, the trailer has wooden sides and a wooden floor. And wood and wet soil don't mix.

To get the rest of the soil out, we turned the trailer over. Just to make sure, I gave the bottom of the trailer a 'little tap' with my boot... and went straight through the floor. Oh dear... We towed the trailer to a garage that we rent, where we pulled the rest of the wood off. The wood towards the bottom of the trailer came away fairly easily, but that was the rotton stuff. The parts of the panels at the top were still amazingly strong.

3 hours of demolition later (and the trailer is only 2.5 foot by 4.5 foot) we were ready to drive home! Which posed yet more problems. Little did we realise how much strengther that rotten wood provided thge trailer. 6 miles later, and the trailer was bent. Unfortunatly, the metal work front to back was only made out of shelving corners. Rusty ones at that. But fortunatly, I carry miles and miles of rope. A few clever knots later, and we were finally able to make it home.


I was trying to think of some clever pun to do with splinters, and wood. But never mind. Nice rope work though...

The next day, my two best friends came over for what has become a 4 monthly visit. Because the three of us are all at different Universities, we don't meet up as often as I'd like, but hey-ho. When we do meet up though, we usually get up to some mad stuff, and this time was no exception. But because of improvements to technology, we can now video what we got up to.

After an afternoon of walking round some woods, shouting "MINTS!" (don't ask), Mum was delivered home in a van. She has her scooter in the garage again (it's always breaking), so to get around, she has borrowed a motability scooter (to get around the village). Of course, 1 motability scooter, plus three university students, and 2 cameras was going to lead to something interesting.

(Original video on YouTube in case you can't see it above)

Michael is a Media student, so knows a thing or two about videos, and slinged this on YouTube. Dominic is a Chemistry student, and after this video probably won't be taken that seriously again. So, for your viewing pleasure, here is Shoprider Antics!

By the end of the week, I was ready to launch my eagerly anticipated refurbished roofrack. As voted for by you, the loyal readers of CATCOUK, I have painted my 1960s Ford Transit roofrack black (like the Camel Trophy wagons). Unfortuntaly, I'm an idiot, and forgot to take a picture. Next time around, I promise I'll put photos up.

Lastly, I'd like to link this week's post altogether. We started with a trailer, and I'm going to finish with a trailer - but not the same type. Last week, someone left a comment asking me how I would survive now that 'Life On Mars' has finished. Funny you should ask Rob. Next week, I am (hopefully) going mountaineering in Snowdonia, so I won't be posting next week. But instead, we have a special coming up for all of you. And since I discovered Windows Movie Maker, I have prepared a video trailer for you all.

(Original video on YouTube, in case you can't see it above)

Hope you like next week's post, and I'll be back in two weeks.

If you disliked the number of videos in this week's blog, why not leave a comment starting you message with 'I know you won't care, but....'.

If you are looking forward to next week's video, why not leave a comment telling me how much you miss Life On Mars.

Quote of the Week: 'Hairy Japanese...' said Dominic menacingly into my brand new camera.

It must be national stupid sign week...

Hello All! Time for another dive (or is that fall) into the wonderful world of CATCOUK. Before we get onto this week's topic, I'd just like to take some time to answer some of your comments.

Siobhan from Worthing asks:
Where was last week's 'reason-for-not-doing-any-overtime of the week', and how do you pronounce CATCOUK?

Well Siobhan, last week's reason was suspended, as I actually had to do some damned overtime (yeah laugh it up, it's not going to happen again anytime soon). Unfortunatly, I had to do one shift to keep the boss happy, and even more unfortunatly, I still need her on my side. Secondly, you pronounce CATCOUK like this: CATCOUK. I hope that answers that question, that I know alot of you were thinking about.

Ian from Chichester asks:
Why is the text getting smaller? I already have trouble reading it.

In truth, I have absolutly know idea. And to be honest, I can read it fine. So my answer to you Ian would be this: you should have gone to Spec... Optical Express!

Many of you may remember that last week I had a towbar fitted, and I wasted no time getting hitched. Alas only a trailer with my car, but I'm still hoping to meet that special person... Well I know you are all dieing to know how my first towing session went (or as Rob from London quite wittily put it, my first session 'on the pull').

Well, it was a beautiful sunny morning on Monday, and I had already collected the trailer the night before. I had left it on my drive overnight. For some reason, my brother (who usually parks his horrible cheap plasticy Astra next to me) had parked his car off the drive way when I went to back the trailer up the drive. I've no idea why...

As I said, it was a beautiful day, and I arrived at the Church to collect more kit from Mum's youth group. The trailer was full, so we loaded up the boot of my car (with the seats down - pretty much making it a van...). Once we'd filled the car to the gunwales, we set off for Lewis. I said that I'd follow the minibus, as I didn't know where the place was.

Normally following a minibus poses no problems for my mighty Escort. Unfortuntaly my mighty Escort only packs a 1.4 litre engine, and to be honest, many of the Dagenham Donkeys that were originally packed into it's engine have limped away. Along the flat and downhill, I could pretty much keep pace with the bus (there is a limit to how fast a bus can accelerate). Unfortunatly, when we hit the dual carriageways, the minibus driver (Niel), decoded it would be a good idea to overtake cars whilst going uphill.
We just dinnee have the poower cap'n!

UPHILL!?!?!?!? Good lord. I was struggling along the flat. To keep up, I was having to bury the accelerator deep into the imitation 'No Fear' car mats. Well we made it the end, and remarkably, my fiel economy wasn't too bad either.

'But what of the stupid signs?' I hear yee ask. Well, on my drive on Monday, on one of the country roads was a weak bridge. It had been sign posted for miles as 'Weak Bridge - max 7.5 tons'. When we actually got to the bridge, the sign post was slightly different: Weak bridge - max 7.5 tons, except local busses up to 12 tons. How does a local bus in tons weigh any less than a van in tons. Surely if the bridge can't take more than 7.5 tons, it can't take more than 7.5 tons.

You can'nee change the laws of physics Jim! Even if you are a local bus? (What is it with the Star Trek Scotty quotes this week?)

But that's not all. This week at work, I also had the pleasure of using the staff toilets (I most definatly use pleasure sarcastically). I noticed that they have put up a new sign to encourage colleagues to report leaky taps (all part of saving money). But the sign leads me to ask what kind of men do they think work at Sainsbury's?

The 'Men's room' poster - for nice boys...

Cutie-Pie? But it get's worse. If I report a leaky tap, obviously a plumber will be called out (very quickly if there's saving money involved). How would you phrase that on a poster directed at men? 'Let us know, and we'll call a plumber right away.' Maybe 'Tell us, and we'll get a guy in with a spanner'. No, instead, the geniouses at Sainsbury's decide to put it like this:

They even put 'nice man' in bold. It;s equal oppurtunities gone mad!

I suppose there is an explanation for this. Only gay men fail to report leaky taps. Only gay men leave the taps on. I personally think it must be another explanation: ALL MANAGEMENT AT ALL LEVELS ARE IDIOTS. There are other examples of the sheer stupidity of management and supervisors of Sainsbury's. I mean, how many supervisors does it take to work out that when someone is doing a job, they phisically cannot do another job at the same time, in a completely different location? Pillocks.

If you think that all employees of Sainsbury's are a bit 'doors swinging the wrong way', why not leave a comment telling me how gay you think I am.

If you think that all management of Sainsbury's are idiots, why not leave a comment telling me how long you worked for Sainsbury's.

Quote of the Week: 'If you did more overtime, I wouldn't be as suprised to see you' said slightly less idiotic supervisor Wendy. To which I replied: 'I'd rather you were suprised'.

Reason-for-not-doing-overtime of the week: [in case you didn't read the above] 'I'd rather you were suprised.'

I think I've read this somewhere before...

I need to start this week's blog with an important announcement! On April 3rd, we all celebrate the first anniversary of

CATCOUK.BLOGSPOT.COM

As a result of this, and talking with the government, I have secured all of my readers a very special present: everyone can have next Monday off (9th April). That's right, because you have read my blog (even though you may not have left any comments), you can have next Monday off work.

Anyway. On to the topic of this week's blog. Many of you know that I have had absolutly no material for my blog recently. And have I been graced for this - a blog to celebrate one year of itself? Yes (thank goodness...).

On Tuesday, I sat an exam at University. Now, for as long as I care to remember, I have taken exams, and I now have pretty tried and tested system: find some old exam papers, go through the questions, and answer around those questions. Because you never get the same question twice (well not exactly the same question). So, I found last year's paper, read it several times, answered the questions, and addresses the themes.

So I turned up for my Applied Meterology exam early Thursday morning. I have now been identified as a 'special person' by the University, so I now get to take my exams in the 'special room' with my fellow 'special students'. I've been diagnosed as discleksick... dysleksix... dislec... well you get the idea. So apologies for all the spelling miscakes of the past year...

I sit down in my 'special room', and open the paper. I read the first question in the paper, and think 'Hang on. That looks familiar.' I quickly read down the page... and the next page... and the next page... The whole exam paper, word for word (literally word for word - not just a close similar meaning) was exactly the same as last year (except two 2 mark questions plonked on at the end). Good job I read last year's paper...

After that little trip into the Twilight Zone, I phoned up my local towbar supplier and fitter. I finally got my Christmas present from last Christmas fitted to my car: a single electric towbar with bumper protector! Hooray.Have towbar, will travel. Check out that slick black PVC... oh yes.

When the man urned up to fit my towbar, I naturally offered him a cup of tea. I didn't realise what was involved with fitting a towbar, but I really hate seeing my car in seperate pieces. When I gave the man his tea, he had removed the light clusters, and was currently emptying the boot. After getting over the shock of seeing Ernie's back lights off (like seeing a good friend with a leg dangling off), I realised that the man needed to get underneath my spare wheel. Fortunatly, my boot was empty, but the spare wheel basin... well I like it well kitted.

As I gave the man his tea, he was emptying the area of ropes, jump leads, warning triangles, a tennis ball, a tarpaulin, and spare parts. Sorry. But matters got worse. About half an hour (with me well away from the window so that I couldn't see Ernie in pieces) Mum came in, and asked if he could work in the rain. This was because, as Mum put it, 'The sky out the back is a dark as a nigger's [we aren't racist, and I realise that this is an outdated term, but it is a quote of my unracist mother, using old world lingo]- The sky out the back is as dark as a nigger's a*sehole.' And sure enough, 5 minutes later, down came the hail. Alot of hail. I ended up backing the rear of my Car underneath the garage door, to give him some shelter.

With the new towbar fitted, and alot of hail on my roof (at least 2 inches), I inspected my present. Nice. And after just a few days, I had my towbar in use! By Sunday, I had secured a deal to help Mum take her youth group on a residential trip. With no luggage transport sorted, I offered my car, and said that if they had a trailer, I'd pull it. And pull it I have, and will tommorrow. I'm taking them there Monday, and will go back and pick them up on Thursday.

Could this be an advanced trailer for next weeks post (get the pun...)

Well that's it. A year has passed, and I have only wasted an hour every week writing this dribble. Hang on, that's more than two days... What have I been doing. Oh well let's be honest, I'm a sad git, and definatly have nothing better to do. See you next week (although I maybe a day late - and I'll tell you why next time).

If you think that this blog has gone on long enough, why not leave a comment telling me to stop now, while I've only wasted 2 days, 4 hours.

If you think that this blog is great, and should go on for another year, please send a cheque to me, and then write a comment (can't balme a guy for trying...).

Quote of the week: 'Damn, I wish I had a funny quote for this week.'

Song of the Month: 'Standing in the way of Control' by The Gossip.