Let's do a low ropes course kids! It's great fun!

No post last night, as I was cream crackered after the weekend's activities, I had to go to bed! I was asleep before 8pm, and after 11 hours sleep, I still didn't want to get up this morning. Even now at 4.30, I still want to go and have a nice little nap in the corner somewhere!

But we must go on.

We'll get to the weekend in a moment, but first I would like to point out what an excellent job I made of parking my car the other day. For your viewing pleasure, I even took a photo! I reversed my car all the way back down this little bit of the car park, which is about 1 and a half car widths wide. I then swung around at the last minute, and ended parking the exact correct distance from the other parked car, and about 2 inches from the car behind. That's what I call artistic driving!

Car Parking as an art form: My park job of the week! (my car is the Champagne Gold colour...)

So, this weekend. In my usual busy-body manner, I ran a sleepover for the NTC cadets in Lancing. For the first time, I had planned an afternoon of activities before the sleepover to wear the kids out, all adventure education orientated (that is what I do at Uni Paul - I learn how to organise NTC trips...). I had three main activities planned, all of which took some setting up.

Three days before, I had gone walking around North Lancing, setting up a 'town trail/ treasure hunt' for the kids to follow. This was in the rain I might add. On the Saturday, Scott, my dad Tim, and I got to the woods, and were there for 3 hours setting up the activities in the woods. Having seen the forecast, we first set up a couple of shelters. Then we spent 90 minutes setting up a Low Ropes course. I of course tested the course out straight away for... Health and Safety reasons. Lastly, I got Dad to set up a 'Lead ropes course'. Basically just a piece of string running through the woods, that the kids will follow later blind folded.

Risk Assesments - the Adventure Education way! Yes that is as painful as it looks. Muppet.

Having left my TV and DVD player at home (which we would need later on in the evening), I fled home in the tRusty ol' Escort, and passed some very confused faces from Implacable (Littlehampton) on the way. We were meeting at 3.15, and there I was speeding in the opposite direction! So I turned up late, but despite the weather forecast, there were glorious blue skies, and sunshine above!

We marched up to the top of the hill, and we began the activities that had been set up. This might actually work. About half way through running the first session, with my Low Ropes group, I realised that I had forgotten something. So I left another officer in charge, and raced back to the car. As I rushed down the hill, blue skies above me, my eye caught sight of the biggest, blackest cloud you have even seen.

Just after 4pm, I got the stuff out of my car, and I felt a drop of water pat me on the head. 5 minutes later, I returned to the woods, mildly wet, to find 30 people huddled under the two shelters we had erected earlier. And the rain pretty much didn't stop for an hour and a half. Bugger.

The 'Town trail' group returned very wet, and in my eyes the whole afternoon was a ... (wait for it) ... wash out! (gettit?) Boom Boom.

At around 6, the rain stopped, so we cut eveything down, and got the kids back to the car park to the minibus. We loaded all the kit into Dad's car, and milled around the car park for a moment. Then, in the space of seconds, the temperature dropped, and it went from dry, to heavy rain, to hail the size of small dogs. Most of the cadets and officers were either on the minibus door side, or were in cars already. There was one cadet standing outside my car getting very wet. In the darkness I didn't see who they were (they may even have been a passer by I suppose...), but I literally threw them into my car to get them out of the hail.

The weather passed over, and the rest of the sleepover was a bit of an anti-climax, and actually went well (probably because I hadn't organised it). After a good 2 hours sleep (it may have been 2.5), I woke up, and started to get ready for our Regional Rifle Shooting Competition. At 7am on the dot (maybe as some sort of payback for keeping me awake all night) I linked my laptop into the Ship's (our Youth Hall anyway) Public address system, and played the Reveille at full volume! Very military. There were some very tired cadets that morning...

Lastly, the competition itself. I normally do okay, and last year I even won. This year I didn't. Now, I don't mind loosing, and I certainly don't mind being beaten by Stuart Ginnaw who is a very good shot. But what I can't fathome, is how my Commanding Officer, who is imfamous for missing the target more often than not beat me to come second! How did he do it? How much did he pay the scorers? Just before the last round, I knew that I needed to get 148 to beat him. So when I scored 146, and knew that I would loose to Brian Orchard but one point, I'm sure you can imagine how gutted I was.

Well done Brian. However you did it.

Just a last reminder, that you could write CATCOUK for a week or two in January whilst I am away with Univeristy. Yep, you've guessed it, we're being forced to go to Lanzarote! Leave a comment telling me that you would like to write it one week!

If you think that my parking is rubbish, why not leave a comment telling me how to park.

If you think my parking is brilliant, and wish you could drive as well as me, why not leave a message saying that your name is Ian Emery, and you'd like tips... (love you Abdulha!)

Christmas landed with a thump this week!

Happy Christmas everyone? It may only be mid-November, but with late-night shopping, and christmas lights all around us, Christmas descends. And this week, Christmas descended rather more heavily on my Mum than on the rest of us.

Whilst sitting at home this Wednesday, actually doing some University work for a change, Mum phoned. She said that she needed me, as she had just had an accident on her motorbike. Although that seems quite serious, I don't know anyone that could keep a straight face, when they hear what actually happenned. Mum's words to me were 'A Christmas decoration has fallen down, and hit me...'.
Regardless of how ridiculous that sounded, I scrambled Ernie the Escort, and in true Starsky & Hutch fashion, screached towards Worthing. Of course Mum had chosen to have an accident during rush hour, so I started to get stuck in traffic, until I decided to take the back streets. At this point, may I add that 60 in a resedential area is not advisable, not that you would find me doing that, even in an emergency.

I pulled up the road to where Mum was, with an Ambulance and a Police car already in attendance, blue lights flashing. I resisted the temptation to get my own blue light out. But when I parked up, I left the hazards on, and parked at a very '70s cop jaunty angle.

From above, God sent a reminder of the true meaning of Christmas: the Moster 10ft Christmas decoration.

It turns out, that just as Mum was pulling away, a 10ft metal Christmas Tree shaped decoration fell 20ft off of a lampost, and pinned her on to her scooter. It was fortunate that out of the many people milling about the market, and shops that it was a motorcyclist that was hit. The doctors said that if she hadn't been wearing her helmet, she would be dead.

Oh look! It's an ambulance.

Anyway, mum was taken to A & E in the ambulance on a spinal board, and neck brace. They took a C-spine X-ray, and some other tests, but fortunatly she just has whiplash, and concussion. By the time Mum was finished in hospital, and we had recovered her bike, it was 11pm! But my visits to Accident & Emergency do not end there...

The very next day, we went Mountain Biking with University. It was a pouring wet day, with enough water falling per metre to float the Titanic! The lecturers decided to ride up Chichester's tallest hill (The Trundle). Of course once you get to the top, there really is only one way to go: Down! So we rode at speed down a very slippery and wet chalk lane, with more potholls than your standard Council maintained road.

With all of these elements stacked against us, it was always going to be a recipe for disaster. I got stuck in a ditch on the way down, and stopped rather abruptly (without injury though). This unfortunatly then caused a freind of mine to crash rather more heavily (sorry Holly). And so it continued on this one spot, with another three nearly comming a cropper. As quickly as I could, I threw crashed bikes out of the ditch, so that anyone that ended up taking this dodgy line had every chance to ride it out.

Of course this wasn't an isolated inccident. By the time I got to the bottom, at least half of the 30 students in the group (including myself) had had an accident of sorts. As soon as I stopped, I saw Batman sitting on his bike, with blood dripping from his arms. I quickly called for a first aid kit, and me and Charlie dressed his wounds. As Batman had flown over his handlebars, he had stretched his hands forwardm and managed to find to sharp flints to slit both his palms on. Seriously slashed palms.

I did the best job I could with Batman, when I hear a voice say 'Andy, my wrist is really sore'. I turn to see Holly holding her left wrist. I carried out a quick examination of her wrist, and realise that she has either broken her schaffoid, or damaged some ligaments. Either way, it meant my second visit to A&E. We cycled back to Uni via the shortest route, and I then drove her (accompanied by our friend Kat) to St. Richard's Hospital.

3 hours, 1 X-ray, a Cheese and Onion sandwich, and lots of pain-killers later, we emmerge from A&E. Having had no lunch, we were starving, and Holly had managed to blag a sandwich out of the Nurses. Unfortunatly (for Holly) it was a Cheese & Onion sandwich, whuch Holly hates with a passion. However, she put her quarrels aside, and ate half of it anyway. After offering Kat the second half, I ate the rest. Filling was good, but the bread was drier than fire.

Thanks to my best friend Michael for the loan of the Mountain Bike.

Having started this post off with a Christmas theme, it seems only fitting to finish with a tail of Winter Sports. Today (Sunday) we took the NTC cadets to Gosprt Ice Rink, for some Ice Skating. May I just say that with my skills, Torvill & Dean can step asside. I'm sure many of the cadets were suprised by my amazing talent... for repeatedly falling about. The photo below catched me on a slightly more stable moment, but a video taken shows exactly how good my skating was...

Get your skates on! Me doing 'Is this the way to Amarillo - ON ICE!'

See the video of me making an even bigger ass of myself on my CATCOUK2 (Bebo)! catcouk.bebo.com. You'll notice that I was skating in exceptionally difficult conditions, as the rink was actually on the side of a building...

Thanks to Abdulha (of TS Sturdy) for the photo and video.

Well that's it from me for another week. Merry Christmas to you all... Before I go, I have some exciting announcements to make. Firstly, two of you readers will get the chance to write my blog for a week. Basically, I'm going away for two weeks in January, and like any good TV show, or radio show, I need cover! If you'd like to write my blog for a week (or two if we're short on applicants), leave a comment now!

Secondly, I am working on a special Christmas Treat for you all. A simple little Christmas MP3 looms on the horizon... This is the last time I'll mention Christmas until we actually get near Christmas. Unlike the shops, here at CATCOUK, we still appreciate the values of Christmas. We celebrate the coming of Jesus with our presents, and remember the birth of Father Christmas (or was it the other way around? I forget). Anyways, CATCOUK is a Christmas free zone until we actually get there!

If you think that my Ice Skating is rubbish, as well as being absolutly correct, you may wish to leave a comment reminding me of this fact.

If you think that my Ice Skting is as good as Torvill and Dean, as well as finding out who Torvill and Dean are, you may want to leave a comment lying through your teeth, and cheering me up!

If you want to be CATCOUK for a week or two, LEAVE A COMMENT NOW!

Another slow news week was it?

Just like a small child, with all of the hipe now building up in the shops, I am getting ever so slightly excited over a little event coming up, known to many, as Christmas. So for the next few weeks, I'll give you my official CATCOUK countdown to Christmas.

From today (Sunday when this was written) you have only 41 shopping days left to Christmas (unless you live in Lancing, in whuch case you have only 41 shoplifting days to Christmas).

As I'm sure the most observant of you will have noticed, it has been another slow week in my world. So for a vague attempt at humour, I'm going to throw together some completely unrelated stuff, in the hopes that you will come back next week. Oh well, I'm trying...

To start with, I have to tell you that I have endured a terrible cold all week. Just like Chris Moyles, I know that when I'm ill, it is a National Tradegy. So fear not, for I have now fully recovered, but not before struggling through a horrible cold. It was one of those colds where you woke up with absolutly no energy whatsoever. I litterally had just enough energy to get out of bed, drive to Uni, sleep through lectures, drive home (whilst sleeping), and then go to bed (again to sleep, rather than with someone else...).

But even with my plague, I struggled on, and still went to University, and still went to work. Although why on Earth I made an effort to go to Sainsbury's I'll never know... (guessed I must have been ill - oh I was). Just like I always say: 5 minutes early is on time, on time is late. Although what that has to do with being ill I don't know.

The band has started learning Christmas tunes this week, ready for a Christmas lights thing in Chichester. An officer from the Chichester unit (TS Sturdy) has sent us all the music he wants us to play (as it's his event). The officer is question who shall remain nameless (evening Graham by the way) has given us EIGHT tunes to learn from scratch in three band nights. Hard times ahead I feel.

But we had a bash at them on Monday (bash being the operative word). I swear Graham, I'm going to nut you for unleashing the horrors of 'Little Donkey' upon us. Ironically, it's also the only tune that the whole band can play... If I hear that tune again, I'm going to have to drive my car clear over a cliff. The drumming to it is impossible. Anything that we've tried just sounds really messy. ARGHHH!

Finally, (to make up for the series of long blogs lately) I would like to thank everyone that has offered me support this week. Not wanting to hide anything from my faithful readers, so I'll tell you as well, my parents are splitting up. So thank you everyone that has been there for me. This post is dedicated to all of you. Offers have gone from 'you know my number' to 'I'll cook you dinner', and one friend even offered me a bed (well her settee anyway).

To try and avoid ending on a bum note, some of you may remember that our Marching Band recently did amazingly well. If you'd like to see why we did so well (or just see me in funny clothes playing a drum), you can now watch a video of our routine on YouTube! So that you all appreciate the effort involved, I spent over an hour editing that movie. It's not an epic, like Gandhi, or Borat: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, but it is award winning... Sorry, multi-award winning! Thanks to the people at the University's Media Centre (whose patience must have been tried - what I know about media fits nicely onto the head of a very small pin). If you like the film, please leave a comment, and a 5 star rating. Mainly so that the young people in my group know how well they did...

If you think yet again, I've wasted your time with this dribble, and I really should work harder at getting decent news stories, why not leave a comment telling me I'm a slacker.

If (by some miracle) you enjoyed this week's post, why not leave a comment telling me that you don't get out much (even less than me - and that would be a feat!).

(PS - I won't mention Graham's name in this post, as I don't want any backlash to Graham for the torture that is small children trying to play 'Little Donkey'. Afterall, Graham didn't write the devil's own carol, no that came from Beelzebub's own satanic fart... Graham just chose the carol, so we shouldn't hold it against Graham. So for goodness sake, don't mentions Graham's name - got it?)

At least with you, 50% of what you say is relevant...

Good morning CATCOUK fans!

Apologies for late blogging, but I have had a VERY busy weekend. Today's title is brought to you by a friend of mine, and you'll find out why later on in the post (keeping you gripped!).

Monday of this week, I bought a new mobile phone, bringing myself into the 21st century. As well as being able to make phone calls, and text people (yep, phones can still do those things) this phone has an MP3 player, can make video calls, and take photos! As I told you in a previous post, my camera is broken, so this camera has come in handy!

But I'm going off on a tangent. This weekend has been exceptionally busy. I was up at 6.30am Staurday morning to take Hannah, Holly, and Luke to the NTC's sailing centre to go on the powerboat course I got them booked on. I picked up Hannah and Luke first, and then went on to Holly's house. She got in the car, and looked a bit ill (she's had a cold recently, and I'm guessing the 7.30 start for her was a bit early).

By this time of course I'm quite bouncy and enthusiastic. Holly looked at me with quite a sour expression, and asked 'Are you always up at this time of the morning?'. Of course I am, most weekends I have to be up ready for the NTC with all of my usual enthusiam in front of kids. Needless to say, Holly would have been quite happy to go back to sleep.
Did I mention last week that we won a couple of trophies...

So I dropped the three of them off in Portsmouth, at 8am, and then drove to Lancing ready for a Band performance with our award winning Marching Band. I arrived at the Parish Hall at 9.30am, and we were there until 1pm. Thanks to Lancing & Sompting Lions club for a really good morning, and Mrs. Orchard raised £60 on our stall! We're now a wingmirror closer to a minibus for the group!!!

In the afternoon I took Mum shopping. By this point, as you'll see below, I was getting a bit snap happy with the camera on my phone. This next picture shows you a happy little character that Sainsbury's are selling for Christmas. I'm sure you've all seen this type of thing, you squeeze thge paw, and it sings.

Me and Mum is Sainsbury's, we just love it... not.

Me with a nearly whole hand on bananas (there's only 6 there, and 7 make a hand).

This week whilst I was sitting on the till, a small child was setting off this particular toy over and over again. Now I'm no humbug, but is it wrong to think about axing an entertaining stuffed raindeer to death? My goodness, it was driving me bonkers! I quite liked it the first couple of times, but on the tenth playing...

Jingle and indeed Bells. The bells, the bells... HELP!!!

But back to my weekend. 7pm came, and my £300 dinner jacket got it's annual dusting off. The Lions Charter Night (dinner dance) was a particularly good evening. Unlike most posh restaurants, the food here was actually quite good. And by that I mean we actually got some food. With these posh places, the food is normally all art, and no food. A couple of leaves sprinkled with a dribble of colour stuff.

Incase you wondered, I'm on the right, and good lord, is that a bowtie?

Well, the starter was like this, three thin slices of melon, and a dribble of red sauce over the top. Oh dear. But the main course was a reasonable sized piece of chicken, and then a huge bowl of crumble for afters! Well done.

10pm came, the speeches were over, and dashed back to the Mark 4, and drove back down to Portsmouth. I arrived there at 10.45pm. Whenever I've been down to NSTC Lion (the sailing centre) with the youth group, we send the kids to bed at 10.30, and then the officers are up until the smal hours chatting. So you can imagine my suprise when I arrived, and everyone either in bed, or on their way to bed! Light weights...

Sunday, I spent the morning assisting on the powerboat course, and everyone passed. We were talking about other members on the Powerboat course, and Holly had said how she couldn't understand how on particular bloke could keep talking about such irrelevant stuff. And here comes the quote.. 'At least with you [Andy], 50% of what you say is relevant'. Oh thank you very much!

I should also point out that Hannah is a trainee teacher. She's obviously not very well behaved on her course, because she's been sentenced to doing her teacher training at Lancing's Boundstone Community College (the t's are silent if you talk to any of the kids). But I told Hannah that she'd be alright, just as long as she kept wearing that stab vest!

Driving... yeah I did alot of that this weekend.

Luke and Hannah - drugs aren't cool kids!

Holly (she's really worried that she didn't look good enough - well you can't look good all the time... lol)

Anyways, 2.30pm, and I left Portsmouth, droppedmy friends off in Chichester, and arrived in Lancing (again) at 4pm - ready for yet another band engagement. There was also a band engagement last night, but I was at the Lion's dinner dance. So we loaded up the cars, met up with our sister ships, and formed a huge combined marching band to lead the 15 000 people at the Guildford fireworks carnival procession.

I eventually got home last night at 11.10pm, had some dinnr, and write a quick blog post. But before I finish, I really must say a big thank you to the one person that made this weekend possible - Ernie (my 1986 Ford Escort 1.4 GL Estate in Champagne Gold). Over the weekend, my 20 year old car did 390 miles! 20 years old, and my car has never let me down. That's better than most modern cars!

87 000 miles young - Good ol' Ernie, he's not let me down yet!

If you've had busier weekends, and think that I'm pathetic, and should really stop complaining (did I mention I also have a cold), leave me a message saying that your car has down 1390 miles!

If you now understand me better, and no longer think that my work in the NTC is a bit geeky, you could leave a message saying that your name is Holly....

Stay tuned...

Sorry, this week's post is going to be a day late. It's now Sunday at 11.57 (and not the one with daylight), and I really REALLY need some sleep.

Tune in from Monday after 1200 to find out why (what a cliff-hanger)...