Christmas landed with a thump this week!

Happy Christmas everyone? It may only be mid-November, but with late-night shopping, and christmas lights all around us, Christmas descends. And this week, Christmas descended rather more heavily on my Mum than on the rest of us.

Whilst sitting at home this Wednesday, actually doing some University work for a change, Mum phoned. She said that she needed me, as she had just had an accident on her motorbike. Although that seems quite serious, I don't know anyone that could keep a straight face, when they hear what actually happenned. Mum's words to me were 'A Christmas decoration has fallen down, and hit me...'.
Regardless of how ridiculous that sounded, I scrambled Ernie the Escort, and in true Starsky & Hutch fashion, screached towards Worthing. Of course Mum had chosen to have an accident during rush hour, so I started to get stuck in traffic, until I decided to take the back streets. At this point, may I add that 60 in a resedential area is not advisable, not that you would find me doing that, even in an emergency.

I pulled up the road to where Mum was, with an Ambulance and a Police car already in attendance, blue lights flashing. I resisted the temptation to get my own blue light out. But when I parked up, I left the hazards on, and parked at a very '70s cop jaunty angle.

From above, God sent a reminder of the true meaning of Christmas: the Moster 10ft Christmas decoration.

It turns out, that just as Mum was pulling away, a 10ft metal Christmas Tree shaped decoration fell 20ft off of a lampost, and pinned her on to her scooter. It was fortunate that out of the many people milling about the market, and shops that it was a motorcyclist that was hit. The doctors said that if she hadn't been wearing her helmet, she would be dead.

Oh look! It's an ambulance.

Anyway, mum was taken to A & E in the ambulance on a spinal board, and neck brace. They took a C-spine X-ray, and some other tests, but fortunatly she just has whiplash, and concussion. By the time Mum was finished in hospital, and we had recovered her bike, it was 11pm! But my visits to Accident & Emergency do not end there...

The very next day, we went Mountain Biking with University. It was a pouring wet day, with enough water falling per metre to float the Titanic! The lecturers decided to ride up Chichester's tallest hill (The Trundle). Of course once you get to the top, there really is only one way to go: Down! So we rode at speed down a very slippery and wet chalk lane, with more potholls than your standard Council maintained road.

With all of these elements stacked against us, it was always going to be a recipe for disaster. I got stuck in a ditch on the way down, and stopped rather abruptly (without injury though). This unfortunatly then caused a freind of mine to crash rather more heavily (sorry Holly). And so it continued on this one spot, with another three nearly comming a cropper. As quickly as I could, I threw crashed bikes out of the ditch, so that anyone that ended up taking this dodgy line had every chance to ride it out.

Of course this wasn't an isolated inccident. By the time I got to the bottom, at least half of the 30 students in the group (including myself) had had an accident of sorts. As soon as I stopped, I saw Batman sitting on his bike, with blood dripping from his arms. I quickly called for a first aid kit, and me and Charlie dressed his wounds. As Batman had flown over his handlebars, he had stretched his hands forwardm and managed to find to sharp flints to slit both his palms on. Seriously slashed palms.

I did the best job I could with Batman, when I hear a voice say 'Andy, my wrist is really sore'. I turn to see Holly holding her left wrist. I carried out a quick examination of her wrist, and realise that she has either broken her schaffoid, or damaged some ligaments. Either way, it meant my second visit to A&E. We cycled back to Uni via the shortest route, and I then drove her (accompanied by our friend Kat) to St. Richard's Hospital.

3 hours, 1 X-ray, a Cheese and Onion sandwich, and lots of pain-killers later, we emmerge from A&E. Having had no lunch, we were starving, and Holly had managed to blag a sandwich out of the Nurses. Unfortunatly (for Holly) it was a Cheese & Onion sandwich, whuch Holly hates with a passion. However, she put her quarrels aside, and ate half of it anyway. After offering Kat the second half, I ate the rest. Filling was good, but the bread was drier than fire.

Thanks to my best friend Michael for the loan of the Mountain Bike.

Having started this post off with a Christmas theme, it seems only fitting to finish with a tail of Winter Sports. Today (Sunday) we took the NTC cadets to Gosprt Ice Rink, for some Ice Skating. May I just say that with my skills, Torvill & Dean can step asside. I'm sure many of the cadets were suprised by my amazing talent... for repeatedly falling about. The photo below catched me on a slightly more stable moment, but a video taken shows exactly how good my skating was...

Get your skates on! Me doing 'Is this the way to Amarillo - ON ICE!'

See the video of me making an even bigger ass of myself on my CATCOUK2 (Bebo)! catcouk.bebo.com. You'll notice that I was skating in exceptionally difficult conditions, as the rink was actually on the side of a building...

Thanks to Abdulha (of TS Sturdy) for the photo and video.

Well that's it from me for another week. Merry Christmas to you all... Before I go, I have some exciting announcements to make. Firstly, two of you readers will get the chance to write my blog for a week. Basically, I'm going away for two weeks in January, and like any good TV show, or radio show, I need cover! If you'd like to write my blog for a week (or two if we're short on applicants), leave a comment now!

Secondly, I am working on a special Christmas Treat for you all. A simple little Christmas MP3 looms on the horizon... This is the last time I'll mention Christmas until we actually get near Christmas. Unlike the shops, here at CATCOUK, we still appreciate the values of Christmas. We celebrate the coming of Jesus with our presents, and remember the birth of Father Christmas (or was it the other way around? I forget). Anyways, CATCOUK is a Christmas free zone until we actually get there!

If you think that my Ice Skating is rubbish, as well as being absolutly correct, you may wish to leave a comment reminding me of this fact.

If you think that my Ice Skting is as good as Torvill and Dean, as well as finding out who Torvill and Dean are, you may want to leave a comment lying through your teeth, and cheering me up!

If you want to be CATCOUK for a week or two, LEAVE A COMMENT NOW!