Sunday, June 24, 2007

Best care anywhere

Having had a week off thanks to Michael last week, I have plenty of E-mail material. This being the case, I planned to tell you this week about my trip to ‘The Reasonably Sized Apple’ also known as New York, and all about the Boy Scout Camp that I work at – Ockanickon (I spelt that off of my name badge by the way, I would probably have spelt it with a V and 2 T’s).

However, something else pretty big has come up this week, so I will try and cram it all in, and we’ll see where we can get.

Last Saturday my sponsor ‘dad’ Bill took me to see New York. I must say that it is an incredible city. The buildings are so large, almost to the point of being unbelievable, and bizarrely, the Statue of Liberty was shorter than I had expected. Obviously, NYC is nowhere near as spectacular as the sunny shores of Sussex, but there you are.
Me and my friend Bill Vincent on the Stattan islan Ferry, with Manhatten in the background.


A big point of interest was ground zero, the site of the former buildings that made up much of the World Trade Centre, and The Twin Towers. There are still burn marks on some of the surrounding buildings, and the site is still being cleared nearly 6 years after the disaster. It really is a site to see. Especially when you imagine the towering structures that had been there previously.
A gaping hole in the middle of New York City: Ground Zero.


Whilst in New York, we had Chinese. But not just any Chinese. This was the best sample of Chinese cuisine that I have ever tried. Just unbelievably good. On the subway trip home, I was surprised that the New York State Transport Department had made an significant extension to their subway system. I’m sure everyone around me thought I was made when I took this photo.A major extension has been added to the New York Subway, you can now get all the way bto Brighton.

But onto the main event. The whole reason for me coming to America: Ockanickon Scout Reservation. I had several pre-conceptions of what the campsite might be like (as I had with the whole of the US in fact). I had expected the campsite to feel alien to me, and for everything to be a bit strange. And although some aspects of the sight are odd, bizarrely, the place kind of feels like home.

The thing that I still can’t get my head around is the equipment the scout camp uses. Although I know that the gear itself is not that old, the design dates back to WWI. In fact, some of the beds in the lodges are WWII surplus! Either way, sleeping in their big heavy canvass tent felt like being in an episode of M*A*S*H*. This is an observation that will come back and bite me on the ass.

At the campsite, I have two main jobs: Assistant Sailing Director (although the director is severely under qualified, I’ve had to bail him out several times this week. I may use them next week), and I am also on the Rock Climbing staff. Because of the laws of magic, the lake that we sail on only gets wind in the afternoons during the summer, so I go to the climbing department on the afternoons.The SS Corpulent Porpoise, the 22ft boat that I am chief of the boat of.

The SS Corpulent Porpoise as we have called her is a bit of a bath tub. Don’t get me wrong, she sails beautifully, I but these Boy Scouts have no idea how to look after nautical equipment. This boat has been abused and mistreated, and really needed some TLC when I arrived. We have had some great fun with her though.

I have two stories about the boat. Firstly, Thursday we were practicing man overboard drills. Back in the UK, I have always tied a Life Jacket (or PFD [Personal Floatation Device] as the crazy Yanks call them) to a bucket. So this we did. The first Scout goes to save ‘Bob’, and then runs straight over him (by accident), almost exactly in the middle, between the bucket and the Life Jacket.

This resulted in the whole man overboard dummy getting dragged underneath, and along the keel, to end up wrapped around the centre board. This further resulted in the boat being almost completely un-sailable. In short, you could sail down wind, but not up it. Of course the wind was coming from the marina over half a mile away. Most people would just switch a motor on at this point, but unfortunately the Corpulent Porpoise isn’t fitted with one. So the kids paddled the 22ft sloop the half mile back to the marina against the wind. They were tired after that, and sadly there weren’t enough paddles for the instructors to paddle…

Second amusing story happened Friday, after we had finished repairing the boat. We had loads of wind that morning, so we were screaming along the lake. As we were thundering along, we noticed a very attractive young lady in a rowing boat, wearing a green bikini. Please bear in mind that the BSA (Boy Scouts of America) don’t have girls in it, and so the majority of instructors tend to be blokes. I had, in fact, almost forgotten what a woman looked like.

So naturally all of the crew on the boat are male, and were gawping at her. I was standing at the back of the boat with the main sheet in my hands (that’s the rope that pulls the big sail in and out). She realised that 6 blokes were just staring at her, whilst they shot past on a yacht. She waived at us awkwardly, so naturally, being the only gentleman on board (and the only Briton, see the link…) I waved back.

Having looked really cool up until this point, I was a little shocked when I felt the main sheet (rope) get harder. No, there’s no innuendo there. I turned around to see my crewmates all letching, and slowly turning the boat. At the point, the wind caught the sail (as the boat was turning), and most people fell off their feet, and right across the boat. The helmsman lost all his senses, and performed a sharp turn, and for all intents and purposes, we were in chaos. How those sirens of the sea effect us guys.

Unfortunatly, because this is a Boy Scout of America site, I have to wear Boy Scout uniform, as does every other member of staff. Oh my goodness, I have never seen so many knobbly knees in all my life. I try to avoid wearing it, but I have to wear it at least every day, so that I can salute the American flag (the other days I can wear my NTC uniform). So, by popular demand, here is a picture of me as a boy scout. Please bare in mind, I only wore those socks as a joke. I usually wear normal socks. Woohoo. A Scout uniform, don't I look cool...

Lastly, I rope this long post back to the title for this week. As I said earlier on, the camping reminds me of the TV Show M*A*S*H*. Even the beds (or cots) that we sleep in. But as I said, that came back to bite me on the backside. This was our first week of activities (last week was all set up), and somehow, a virus was brought onto the site. Tests were done, and we know it was not food or the water supply. It’s basically a cruise ship virus (people being sick, and er… emptying the bowels). As I have sat here and wrote this, I know that the camp manager has had a meeting with the department of health, and they have taken samples.

But I digress. As yet, don’t worry mum, I’m okay. Tuesday night we evacuated the campsites, and stayed in buildings for a few hours whilst a thunder storm went through. Almost straight after that, loads of people went to the Health Officer. The campsite has an impressive ‘Health Lodge’ which is like a small medical centre. They even have a ward to sleep ill people in. That night several people were sent home, or in severe cases to hospital!

After Tuesday night, there were a few isolated cases, but we thought we had taken enough measures to stop it. Well we thought wrong. On Thursday night, I was Duty Officer (DO), and a second wave of sick people came through. In the midst of this, we had to evacuate a group that were wild camping for the night, because of another thunderstorm. Thursday night was far worse than Tuesday. We had so many sick people, that the Health Lodge was swamped. The emergency protocols were opened, which basically said, ‘ha ha, your on your own…’.

So thinking on their feet the staff set up 22 beds in a lodge close to the Health Lodge. But even that wasn’t enough. We had to cram ill people in there. At the moment, the current total of ill people (some have recovered, some are still in beds, some have gone home, and some are in hospital) stands at around 70 (including, Scouts, Adults and Staff). It’s an incredible site. I don’t know many places could do that. And now it really was like a scene from M*A*S*H*.

As I said, I was DO, so I helped out as much as I could. I couldn’t do anything on the medical front, but I did check in with troops, and keep the medical staff, and helpers fed and watered (with very strong coffee). I was up to 3am doing this.

The virus is spread through bodily fluids (mainly sweat), but also becomes airborne through vomit fumes. Well, I was around a lot of ill people last night, and the medical officer looked at me when I got back from sailing, and told me to go rest (hence how I got the time to write this). Well, in my usual fashion, sheer bloody mindedness will keep me well. I will not be ill.

Once again, I hope all is well in Blighty, and keep in touch.

If you have had some rain the week, why not leave a comment, starting your message with ‘I live in Britain’.

If you have not had some rain this week, why not leave a longer comment, be smarmy, starting with ‘I live in neither Britain, or Okanickon Scout Camp’.

Quote of the Week: ‘There are more ways to kill a dog than to choke it with butter’. Apparently, it is a Chinese proverb (we were looking for them on the ‘net to put in the camp newsletter), but if you can work out what it means, please tell me. Or if you can just work out why someone may wish to kill a dog, by choking it with butter, I would be fascinated.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Faster, Further, Higher, and for Longer (again)!

A great big HOWDIE from the good ol’ US of A. As you can read, I have successfully arrived in America. Thanks to Michael for taking care of business for me last week, whilst I jet setted across the pond to the yankies!

Well, first off the bat, I cannot write this week’s post without bigging up British Airways. At last, there is something British that we can all still be proud of. To be fair, I loathed flying with First Choice to Lanzarote. The seats were uncomfortable, the service was okay, and EVERYTHING cost more. If you wanted a seat that was inside the plane, that was an extra £20…

But BA… Wow! What a difference. The seats were comfortable, with enough space to avoid cramp. The service was excellent (even if they were mostly men), and they kept giving us food and water every hour. For FREE! Some people say Virgin Atlantic are the best, but really, British Airways is flying.

As a beautiful link, my flight landed on US soil a whole hour early (that’s the sort of service you can expect from BA… and no, I’m not on commission). This was a good thing. Well for me it was. I got to meet US border control (Department of Homeland Security) that much earlier, and then their customs. I really enjoyed he rubber glove part. Apparently they give out that service free to all English travellers…

Landing early did cause my mother some concern however. Because the plane landed early, the database on the internet displayed ‘information unavailable’ when mum went to check my flight landed okay. Naturally, mum assumed my plane crashed and burned somewhere over the North Atlantic… Well, they say mothers are like that (Hi Mum by the way…).

Over here is exactly as you expect. There is lots of food, and yes there are lots of… er… rounder people here. It comes to something when I think that a meal is too much for me! No really, at home they call me the dustbin. But everyone over here is really polite and friendly. Thanks to Chris Quinn and his wife Cindy who are responsible for my being here. Thanks also to Bill Vincent and his family who took care of me my first weekend. Neither of whom read this, but credit where credit is due…

Also, as you would expect, their cars are BIG. A usual engine for these guys is a 2 litre V6. What’s more, that is considered fairly economical! The yanks are gobsmacked when I tell them that my ’86 Ford Falcon Station Wagon (as it was known over here) gets 50 miles to the gallon. If a car does 22 miles to the gallon, it is considered fuel-efficient!!! Also, they pay slightly less for their fuel (30p a litre).

I would also like to point out that American cars are cool. They just don’t realise it. Bill’s son, Eddie, took me to a beach house party is his ’99 Ford Mustang. Alright, it isn’t the best Mustang made, but it’s still cool. But apparently it’s normal for a 22 year old to drive that sort of car!

But you don’t see many older cars out here. This is for two reasons. These American cars really are built badly. Compared with Dagenham designed and built Ernie, these things are toys. Also, most cars that I have seen that are 5 years old or so have got at least one large dent in them, where they have been involved in a collision. The people of the US just don’t take good care of their cars. (How is Ernie by the way? I really am missing him. I can’t even hire/borrow a car out here…)

Their houses and streets are amazing also. Well New Jersey is anyway (I haven’t seen much else of the states). The houses are all wooden designs, but look really sturdy (not just flat packs from Focus DIY…). Plus, the buildings are over 100 years old, and still standing. Suburb streets are interesting. They are not just tree lined, but tree infested. It looks great. Furthermore, you wouldn’t forget which country you are in. Nearly every house flies a star spangled banner.

Well that’s America. I suppose I should explain my title before I close. When I went to Lanzarote in January (it’s tough being an Adventure Ed student…) I broke several personal boundaries. I went further away from home that before (2500 miles), I went faster than before (450mph), I went higher (32 000 ft), and I went away from home for longer than before (2 weeks).

But I have now (or am in the process of doing) broken all those records once again. Further (5500 miles or so), Faster (590mph), Higher (40 000 ft), and for much, much, much longer (90 days/ 11 weeks/ 2.5 months). Heck, after I went through security a Heathrow, Mum said that she didn’t stop crying for 12 hours!!!

Well, I would like to say I’m missing all of you, but I can’t lie. As I will tell you next time, I am having an absolute blast out here, and we haven’t even started the fun stuff yet! Lots of love to all back home (especially Ernie… that just winds my Mum up, she thinks I love my car more than her. Well all the blokes out there will understand that…). I hope all is well in Blighty, and I am thinking of you. If you would like to E-mail me messages, you can do so below, and I will pick them up when I can. They will then appear as a comment (for all you users new to blogs!).

If you have a 21 year old car (happy birthday to Ernie for a few weeks ago btw), that can get 50 miles to the gallon, why not leave a comment starting your message with ‘I have stolen Ernie, and he is under ransom for [insert cost]…’.

If you are missing me, why not leave a comment starting your message with ‘I have a mental problem, therefore I am missing you…’.

Quote of the Week: [said in yank accent] ‘Is that near London?’ asked nearly every yank, after I told them I lived on the South Coast, near Brighton. It’s a little repetitive.

Monday, June 11, 2007

A Week In The Life Of.....

Hi guys,

Well, I promised Andy that I would keep the blog updated until he manages to get him self settled down with the kids and Dracula in Pensylvania.... or was it Transylvania?

I am slipping up already in that I have some how managed to dispose of my yesterdays blog so my apologies readers and, here we go! lol.

Well, this week obviously Andy jetted off to America and seeing as I haven't heard otherwise I can assume that he is alive and well on the other side of 'the pond'.

Completely unlike Andy, he is without Canoe/Kayak or Canayak and his beloved Ernie, which I may have to go and take a random picture of in true Andy style..... The evening before he left we decided that it could be a laugh to update you as to a week in my life...

----

I will be honest with you now, it has not been all that intresting, sorry! Like many students, I am currently revising for my exams, in fact my last one is tomorrow. I am a good-for-nothing (Dyspraxic and slightly dyslexic - in case you haven't guessed) Media Student at Sussex Uni and much like Andy work in retail to pay for all the little things...

So, this week has been full of really exciting revision.....'Socialising.... and much not revising... in honesty it has been more full of not revising then revising and alcamahol to boot. Either way I get bored rather easily it seems and, fed up with sitting indoors I have taken to taking my trusty car, (also a Ford, (incidentally Andy never USED to like fords :O) to either the beach or up Mill Hill, a local beauty spot (some say 'dogging spot'...allegedly) and well, hill that overlooks most of Shoreham, Lancing and Worthing.... Next time I am up there I will wave, so wave back...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Amazing Hovering Blanket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Shoreham Beach - Actually looks good! And since when was there sand?


I also have the pleasure of working at both B&Q and Comet in the glorious Teville gate and have to say I have not been knifed at either which is a pure miricle. What I do get however is my fair share of nutters. I work B&Q at 6am on a Wednesday morning. Wednesday is 'Diamond Discount Day' being that over 60's get a whole 10% off their shopping. Come 7am when the doors open we are awash with customers who wait to save 10p on a packet of screws and like to cue and complain about the wait...

This wednesday saw a whole host of customers who wanted to tell me about their children, their bunions, hardware stores of old, incontenance.... It's great. Really. 15 mins later you have to tear yourself away. This week, one of my senior and more grumpy colleagues came up with a great plan. This being wearing a label saying 'Sorry, not speaking the english' seems to work rather well, I may try it.

I also work for Comet Teville Gate... It's not really as bad as they say, but the incident book is always good for a laugh. highlights include paintball and smoke grenades, someone pushing a freezer off the roof and hitting a granny and more attempted suicides than you can shake a stick at (it's not tall enough, people just shatter their legs). It is also the grounds of special types of nutters. This week for example, a customer who came in to rant about a stuck key on his laptop, said he was from trading standards, handed over his phone number and instructed us not to call it as Des Lynam (i kid you not) doesn't like answering the phone.

When he returned a week later, he told us he was a police officer and gave us two new numbers which it would be okay for us to ring. When the manager asked whether Des would be okay with us ringing he replied 'Yes, it's okay he's gone now'. And started trying to stop people buying laptops.

Hmmm.

Oh retail, run by students abused by everybody.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
A weeks blog would not be complete without a photo of a car in there somewhere, so outside Teville Gate Comet, on the right of the picture is 'The Lady' my "I know lets be poor for my entire student life" Ernie.

With any luck, normal service will resume next week with Andy back at the helm and you won't have to listen to my drivel. If you liked this post why not leave a comment? If you didn't, why not leave a comment? If you work in retail, again let me know! Leave a comment! (If you don't like me using so many brackets.... leave a comment)

And if you happen to think Des Lynam is living with you, For goodness sake PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT!

I leave you with this: Andrew Clarke, Dominic Wales and Michael Gates starring in: Yummy yummy yummy yum yum, don't take me from the resturant, an Ernie based musical. I can't sing for toffee.






Partario Basin. Out.

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Still can't see Andrew

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Breakfast In America

Well, I know Andrew hasn't even left yet, but if you, like me couldn't read the last post without thinking CHOOON! then this is for you. Appropriately named Breakfast in America, I am sure we all wish Andy the best as he "Take[s] A Jetplane Accross The Water"

All the best mate. Don't forget us all here in Blighty!

And for those of you of a GymClass Heroes pursuasion >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiiU-Fky18s

Forgot to ad:

If you liked reading this mini blog, please leave a comment below, but more importantly...

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THIS WEEK'S POST BELOW...

Monday, June 04, 2007

So long, farewell

Well boys and girls, this could be it. After 14 months, 73 posts, and goodness only knows how many words (more than is sensible to read all at once anyway), this could be the end of CATCOUK. On Thursday of this week, I fly out to America for three months, only to return on the 22nd August.

It is my intention of course to keep writing the blog whilst I'm over the pond, but who knows whether I'll be back. We'll just have to wait and see.

As it turns out, this week's post is one full of goodbyes. This was the week that I said some last goodbyes to my friends at Uni. We are all off around the world to do our 'placement year' module, so we won't see each other now for another 16 months or there abouts.

Some of them may never be seen again! Not because anything ominous will happen to them, but because they will just never come back to Uni (can't face the work). XP, if you're reading this, you'd better get your ass back to Uni in September '08, or so help me! These people will of course get added to what I call, the list of the fallen. When we started our course, we had 34 students. I think we are now at 29... It's not like we're on a rocket science course is it?

To any and all of my friends at Uni that are reading this, I am sure going to miss you all. Take care, and keep yourselves save on placements, and stay in touch on FaceBook!

This was also the week that I said goodbye to most of the people at NTC (the Nautical Training Corps and TS Intrepid). We don't need to worry too much though. I'm taking my laptop with me, and providing I have the internet out there, I'll still be taking care of paperwork. I sure am committed... what a pillock.

For any of my NTC people out there reading, please don't do anything daft whilst I'm away. And for goodness sake, don't loose our 26 cadets... (well, you can loose a few of them if you like)

Lastly, and the reason why this post is late, I met up with my best friends Michael and Dominic last night. We met up (well Michael and I) at 7 o'clock, straight after a days kayaking with theb kids from NTC. And man was my back sore. Eventually Dominic rolled up around 7.30, and we were good to go. A few rounds at the Crown and Anchor first, and then we stocked up from the Co-op, and went and sat/ laid on the beach.

After suspecting that smugglers were signalling us, and seeing the frosty snowman face in the dark clouds (yeah, I was very tired, and they were both on the sauce), we decided to go cruising in Ernie. We went all over, Bramber Castle, Steyning Bowl, a very cold Splash Point, and lastly to Mill Hill, after being unable to a single Kebab and Burger joint. Not even Subway was open!

I eventually rolled in some time after 2 this morning, and my Kayak is still tied to my roofrack. And yes, I am absolutly nackered. Cheers guys. Have a great summer, and I'll see thee when we drive down to Southampton to annoy Dominic when I get back. Take care.

Lastly, I say a possible goodbye to all of you. Next week, Michael will be taking the helm (to let me get settled in the US), and after that, all being well, I should return. Before I go though, I want all of you to help me. Facing the possibility of this being the last ever CATCOUK, I want to get as many comments on this post as possible. Whether you have read this blog for months, or you're still new, leave a comment. Leave two comments. Even if you have nothing to say, say that you have nothing to say, and LEAVE A COMMENT. I think it's possible if we really try, we can get over 40 comments. So come on guys, help me out.

Well, hopefully, I'll see you all in two weeks. But if I don't, take care, and thanks for reading.

If you're a human being, why not leave a comment, telling me so.

If you're not a human being, why not leave a comment, telling me what you are.

Quote of the Week: 'Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy Yum Yum. Please take me from, the restaurant' said the bizarre lyrics of some even more bizarre song late night, on BBC International Radio 1.

Song of the Month: Breakfast in America. Supertramp (1979). The Gym Class Heroes' (Cupid's Chokehold) mix is good, but you can't beat a bit of classical class...