But I don't have a girlfriend...

Merry Christmas to y'all! If you're reading this on Monday (ie Christmas Day) you need to get out more! But Merry Christmas to everyone anyway!

Before we get onto this week's feature, I thought that I would take the time to answer some of your comments.

Robert said...
Hey ClarkeFace, Where is the pic of me and Drum Roll please....... Sean Lock!! Nice to know you had a good weekend at mine... Although, Call me a amateur, some 23yr olds like a cup of horlicks and and early night, plus what you have to remember is you dont live with Alice!!!

I say...
Put your glasses on! The picture of Sean Lock, and Scott, you and I is at the bottom! And I would like to point out that you don't have to live with... er... my cat!

Me Again ! said...
Andy, you really must see someone about your sense of humour. Now you have to explain the title so we know what you are talking about. By the way, you didn't mention the advent calendar this week, have you got to the date where you get a degree behind the window !!!!!

I say...
Robbed - because we went to ROB's flat. Gettit? And as you should know, I've got a degree behind every window so far. I am know degreed in English, Maths, Scienece, Spelling, Advanced Thermoquantum Nuclear Dynamical systems, Sport and Exercise Science, Maths (Doctorate), and 17 other thingys...

Ian Emery said...
I heard about a bunch of nutters terrorising parts of London over the weekend, thought there had just been a breakout at a secure hospital until I read your post....! Glad to hear you had a good weekend, as you'll see, thankfully the NTC disco continued in the traditional way without most of it's core members: http://the-mighty-oak.blogspot.com. Looking forward to hearing your "12 days". Don't think I'll see you beforehand, so have a great Xmas mate. Best Yuletide Wishes Abdulla and the Christmas Camels www.ntc.org.uk/sturdy (1st birthday coming up!)

I say...
Firstly, that wasn't us. That was Al-Qaeda. And several months ago now... Secondly, all I saw on your blog, was YOU wearing MY YMCA hat. You're a marked man. Lastly, you did see me before Crimbo, I saw you this afternoon. RASP!

RobbieFrancis83 said...
RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO To see Andy look a PRAT!!!!

I say...
Pillock. Your Bebo didn't work when I looked (well it did, but only when I signed in as your friend). If anyone wants to know what Rob is on about, wait a few weeks, and I'll tell you all about it!

babii-gurl said...
andy hi glad you had a great weekend at robs, most houses nd tht are quite nice up in london it depends what part of london you are in.and wheres the advent calender this week? im lookinhg forward to the 12 days of christmas thing it gonna be good i hope, i aint gonna listen to no rubbish andy lol. naomi xx

I say...
You can get a CAPITAL letter by using the SHIFT button! Advent Calender is now all eaten, and you can see what fun I had with it all on my Bebo. I hope you all enjoyed my Calender as much as I did (although I would have to very much doubt it...)

Wasn't that great. Audience interaction, what a wonderful tool.

Just before we get onto what you are all waiting for, I need to tell you that my car had a sore throat this week. Well, the exhaust blew, and right underneath my seat. Driving my car around has been like listening to a combination of cars. This week Ernie has been three cars for the price of a half a car! At idle, my car sounded a bit like a 1960's Jaguar E Type, but as soon as I pull away, or start to accelerate, my car magically turned into... the Trotter's three-wheeled van! At times, it was also possible to hear an undertone late 80's Ford Transit 2.0 diesel. Lovely. My friend Stuart also suggested that there was a bit of B52 Bomber in there as well.

But rest easy this Christmas, for me and my Dad have fixed Ernie (well the Exhaust anyway). The two parts of the exhaust had come apart, as we had to jack the car up, and tighten the exhaust bracket up. Now my car just sounds like the starship Enterprise! The rear wheel bearings have gone, so as I get faster, this thudding sound gets faster and louder. Just like some fusion reactor. Marvelous. Service around the corner then...

And onto this week's special feature! It's what you've all been waiting for...

A long time ago (about 2944 days ago), in a city far far away (unless you live in Brighton & Hove, in which case the city is very very close), lived a comedian, known only as 'Baldy', who ran a late night radio show (Sony Gold Award winner, beating Ricky Gervais amongst others) called Terry Garoghan's Last Bus to Whitehawk, began a Christmas tradition. In 2002, Terry was deemed too rude for Radio, so we pay tribute to Terry here, with (the longest intro ever, and)...

THE CATCOUK 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SPECIAL! (mp3)

Thanks to my brother for helping out. This was all done in one take as well. If you'd like to put this on loud speaker, and sing along with your family, around the Turkey roast, here are the words...

On the X day of Christmas, my girlfriend gave to me (although I don't have a girlfriend):

1st ...and a Ford Escort 1.4 GL
2nd ...2 scumbag students
3rd ...3 Cop Show videos
4th ...4 Marching Bands
5th ...5 Breakfast Radio Shows!
6th ...6 Nights out Drinking
7th ...7 Sainsbury's Trolleys
8th ...8 Courtesy Cars
9th ...9 Leaky Urinals
10th ...10 Broken Wrists
11th ...a Christmas Tree related Accident
12th ...CATCOUK.BLOGSPOT.COM

A Very Merry Christmas to you all from CATCOUK.

If you recieved a Christmas present this year, why not leave a comment and tell us all what you got.

If you didn't get a Christmas present this year, don't blame me. Sorry!

We were Robbed...

If there are any people out there that actually listen to what I say, then you may know that many posts ago, I said that I wouldn't be talking about football in this blog. So the title above is not related to any football match. It's not related to any sporting event in fact.

After a very, very, very dull week, my friend Scott and I were invited by our friend Rob (get the title?) to go and stay at his London penthouse for the weekend. Rob lives in an exclusive part of London called Penge with his girlfriend Alice. Alice had gone away for a week to visit her sister in Ireland, so 'while the cat's away - the mice will play'.

So, me and Scott loaded up the Mark IV, and Ernie took us up the A23 through Croydon, until we hit Penge. Mind you, we did take several... er... scenic detours! I'm sure there is a whole road missing somewhere up there. Anyways, we got to Rob's flat at 11.30pm. Rob lives on the top floor (where else would you find a penthouse?), and from his living room I could see my car (what better view could I ask for?).

Room with a view: I love my car, and it looks all shiny and nice - yes I cleaned it.

Okay, so by know you should have realised that I'm being sarcastic. Although I had visions of some grotty Souf London flat (think Nelson Mandela House [Only Fool and Horses]), Rob actually has a really nice place. Unusually for London, we only heard one siren over the whole stay at Rob's place, and as you can see from the photo above, my car left with the four wheels that we went with! To be honest, I'm very jealous.

Now, Rob can't drive, but for him that's not a problem - he get's driven everywhere! In his job, he often get's 'Chauffeur' driven to his meetings. Is he a CEO of a big London company? No of course not, but he is the boss' PA. So when he offered us a trip to Bromley, how could we resist. And of course we didn't drive. We took the number 227 bus! This is Rob's other mode of transport...

'Rob get's 'Chauffeur' driven everywhere: in this case, the Chauffeur was a London Transport Bus Driver...(Although I hope he wasn't as drunk as this photo was)

On Sunday, with Rob's unbelievably high pay, we walked to France! Below are some pictures that we took along the way. As it turns out, London is very close to France. We only had to take a 10 minute walk to see all these sights.

Le Tour Eiffel:That's how they say Eiffel Tower in France

Another racey picture: We even had time to see the Le Mans race track, but from quite a distance. Look at how small the car is...

The HEAD of state: No, I don't know either...

And when we got to the other side of France, guess what we found? Egypt!

The Sphinx: much small than I though it would be.

You're History!: Yes, this wonder of the world sure make you think - how did the Egyptians ever manage to build this?

Pyramid Company: Talking of the Pyramids, where are they?

Last but by no means least, I would like to point out that wearing his new £1000 glasses, Rob is a spitting image for that bloke off of 8 out of 10 cats (Channel 4). No, not Jimmy Carr, or Dave Spikey, that other guy that occasionally appears on QI or Mock the Week (BBC2). His name aside, here is a picture of Rob and... the other guy.

Spitting Image: Here is a picture of Sean Lock and that other guy... oh yeah, Rob. Sean Lock on the left, and Rob, Scott and I on the right...

All of the photos aside, it was a great weekend, although my friends just don't have the stamina any more! For me, Shieks (club in Bognor) was on Thursday night, so I eventually got into bed at 2.30am. Friday was a 3am bedtime, after we drove to London and caught up with the gossip. Saturday night, we watched a couple of films on DVD (after I endured the final of the Eggs Factor, oh I mean X Factor - I really hate that program). So that was a 3.30am. Rob and Scott (after sleeping their way through most of Mission Impossible III) went out like lights, and didn't wake up until 11am the next morning. Bearing in mind that this was my third late night on the trot, those two must be getting old. I didn't fall asleep until 4am, but I was awake by 9am. What can I say, Scott and Rob are amateurs!

I've had a long drawn out week, and a busy weekend, and now I would like some sleep. Watch out for next week's Christmas edition, which will be available from Christmas Day (or Christmas Eve if you're up trying to catch Father Christmas). I have a special CATCOUK version of the Twelve Days of Christmas in the pipeline ready for your listening pleasure.

Happy Christmas if you don't read up until then!

If you live in London, and hate me, why not leave me a message and tell me to keep out of London under penality of food poisening (I forgot to mention the garlic bread from Rob's local Pizza place - good Pizza though).

If you live in London, love me, and want to start a relationship, why not leave a comment starting with your message with the word 'Antidisestablishmentarianism' and leave your vital statistics, post code, and house number.

[Technical Note:In case you are gullible enough to believe that gullible is the only word mentioned in the Oxford dictionary twice (once under the letter 'gee', and again under the letted 'ged'), France and Egypt photographed in this post are actually differenr parts of Crystal Palace park.]

No Sardine tin for me this time!

I do pick some bizarre post titles, and as you can see, this week is no different. This week, I thought I would do my post in a very day by day manner:

Monday: I was driving to Uni, when I started practicing a song I'm preparing for a later post. Clearly my car, Ernie doesn't like my singing. As we drove through Arundel, my ears suddenly picked up this tapping coming from the engine. When you drive a 20 year old car, any sudden noises are a worry. In fact, I worry sometimes when I fart in the car...

So I pulled over, to see if the tapping noise was just a leaf or a twig or something. Who was I kidding? When the tapping was as metal sounding as that, no twig was going to be responsible. With no break-down cover, and being stuck in Arundel (where everyshop is either an antiques shop, a Sandwich shop, or Pegglers) I was left with very few options. I was in no mood for Sandwich eating, and I was already driving an antique, so I saw no point in staying put.

Instead, I drove my car at the slowest speed I have ever gone in my car, and limped to our Garage in Bognor (W. Jones). After half an hour (which is an age for my driving), I threw my self on the mercy of the garage. They're very good, and I can't promote them enough. Jason (the guy in charge) told one of his guys to leave what he was doing straigh away, and have a listen to my car.

The bloke came out, and said that it sounded like a Hydraulic Tappet had gone. I asked the bloke if it was okay to drive to Chi and back, and he gave that sort of 'Probably not, but you could so it' look, and said 'You'll wanna get that booked in sooner rather than later'. I booked the car in for 9am the next morning, and went to Uni. I didn't risk driving all the way home, so I git Dad to pick me up...

I did get a cool Advent Chocolate though. See my Bebo for more...

Tuesday: Dropped the car off, and picked up the courtesy car. The garage did say that they want to stop doing loan cars, as the last one they loaned caught fire and blew up! Right...

Certainly this is no Sardine tin: my 'nice' courtesy car.

But the car they gave me was in NO danger of that. This was the third courtesy car that I've had, and possibly the nicest. Nice in the way you might call an Aston Martin pleasant. Top of the range 2 litre Ford Focus. It went like shi... very fast. Walnut Dash (alright it was plastic, but it looked nice). Leather trim. And, unlike the last loan car I was given, this was no sardine tin! Michael, I know that you're jealous.

Yeah that's right, it's a Ghia: and I only stalled it three times in the seven hours I had it...

Check out that Walnut dash: Well plastic Walnut dash. Yes it did flex a bit, but it was good to look at.

But no time, to play with the courtesy car, I had an exam to sit. And again, possibly the nicest exam I have ever taken. Paul Tyler, you'd best look away now, because we all know much you think my course is easy. Well the exam was 2.5 hours long on Adventure Environments, and the questions weren't exactly easy. But the exam was open book (so you can read books, listen to MP3's and the like), and because of the subject, for some questions we had to get up and loom at a map, or play with a model.

Now, if that wasn't cushy enough, about half an hour in, they wheeled a trolley in. We were allowed to go to the trolley and get free tea, coffee, fruit juice, and JAFFA CAKES!!! What an exam!!

But what of my car? Last time the garage had my car, they had it for a week. With the courtesy car being as nice as it was, I was quite prepared for the same to happen again (or maybe even hoping...). But just seven hours after dropping my car off, I picked my car up. Ernie has a slight oil leak, and was just completely out of oil. Damn.

Wednesday: A nice long lie in, and then I did alot of revision in preperation for Thursday's Psychology exam. It was a brilliant day just to relax a little. Over the last few months, I havn't really stopped, so this made a nice change. Unfortunatly, I still had to go to Sainsbury's. Yip and indeed ee...

Thursday: After writing over 40 Christmas cards (and I'm still only half way there), I had to go and make sure my friends at Uni got them. And whilst I was at Uni, I thought I'd take a Psychology exam as well. None of us knew what the exam was going to be like. We were all particularly worried about the video analysis part... But of my attempt I can only say this: it was an exam well blagged...

Friday: I took Mum to do some Chritsmas shopping. That's right, I had time to do something other than Uni. It's all over!!! No more assignments. No more exams. No more lectures. For this year anyway. Of course this is th way of things to come.

Saturday/ Sunday: Nothing.

That's right, for the first time since May, I actually had a weekend with nothing on. At all. Not a sausage. Oh, I'm starting to sound like an Advert for Dyson. Well anyway, you get my point. I have been at home ALL weekend. No Uni, no NTC, no Lions, no nothing. I even took the time to wash my car. Again, probably for the first time since May...

Lastly, this week's Christmas gift to you all, is the long awaited video of my Karioke that we were all promised back in September. That's right, this week you can go to my Bebo, and watch a video of me singing Angels by Robbie Williams. Watch out for my subtle air guitar motion in the video...

Also, don't forget to watch out for my advent chocolate suprises. Yesterday, I got a Tardis. No chocolate though, so I do feel a little cheated. And the Tardis isn't even big enough for me to get in, so I can travel back in time, and buy another calendar! Although I have heard that it's much bigger on the inside than the outside...

An apple a day...: It may keep the doctor away, but I have his Tardis! Guess the doctor's smaller than I thought.

Have a good week y'all. See you back here at the same time next week!

If you think that my exams are too cushy, why not leave a comment, and tell me to get a real job, and stop dodging the taxes.

If you think that it's about time I had a weekend off, why not leave me a comment, and tell me that I should stop doing everything, and just stay at home the whole time slowly becomming a vegitable.

Yippee! It's essay time!

Contrary to recent comments, us Adventure Education students do occasionally have to put our Kayaks in the shed, hang up our climbing boots, and put the mountain bikes in for a service. And when this apocolyptic bi-annual event happens, another strange sighting can be made:

All the Adventure Ed students gathered in the Library!!!

Yes, all 30 second year Adventure Education students panicked this week, upon realising that we actually have to hand some assignments in next week. Motivation is a clear issue when completing assignments (Clarke, 2006) as looking for research, and compiling endless references is enough to make you grab two pencils, and jab your eyeballs out (Clarke and Emery, 2005)! As you can see, I just can't help but put those references in...

As I said, it's difficult to get motivated, especially when you are writing 1750 word essays on Risk Assesments. In fact, I started one essay on Monday, and it took until Thursday to complete the 1000 words!!! So as you can imagine, it's been a bit of a slow week. I've barely seen anyone all week, and those I have seen have been buried alive under a mountain of research books.

But this week's post is saved by the events of Friday. Does anybody know what Friday was? That's right kids, 1st of December!!!! And as everyone out there knows, that can mean only one thing. Yep - chocolate ADVENT CALENDAS!!!! So from now until... oh... lets say Christmas day, I'll be adding a photo of my Advent chocolate to a new photo album on my Bebo (catcouk.bebo.com). The first of our Christmas features here at CATCOUK (first of many), so that you can enjoy my chocolates as much as me. Well, you'll know what I've started my day with. As well as a bowl ogf coco-pops...

Fig 1. Doctor Who's advanced quantum mechanics advent calenda for those with degrees.

This year's Advent calenda is Bon Bon's DOCTOR WHO calendar (bought from J Sainsbury's Supermarkets Ltd). I would have to rate the chocolates at 7 out of 10. Okay, not as good as Cadbury's, but no where near as bad as Hershey's. The overall rating for the calenda is upped by the fact that is says you get goodies to play with (havn't got one yet though). But the rating is lowered by the fact that you have to have a degree in Advanced Quantum Mechanics to get the chocolate out! It's buried deep in the plastic holder... So, overall (after additions and reductions) let's say...

DOCTOR WHO SCORES.... (drum roll please)

6.1784964056 out of 10

Enough said!

Lastly, I need to set some of you straight. Many of you think that on the weekends all I do, is wear funny clothes, and hit a drum in a Marching Band. In fact, I actually wear women's clothes, and hang around in bars. No, I don't. I'll admit I have been doing alot with the band of late. This Saturday, we joined one of our sister ships (TS Sturdy) to lead the Chichester Candle procession to count down to the big switch on of the Chichester Christmas lights. My side drum had lights in and everything...

But I'm not banding EVERY weekend. Readers of my blog will know that last weekend I tried to give all my cadets pneumonia by having an afternoon of activities in the cold freezing rain. This weekend, as well as battling with padestrians to march up Chichester high street, I also attended my Mum's confirmation at Church. I'm sure it was very good, but as I was asleep for the hour and a half it lasted, I'm not entirely sure. Dad poked me every now and again to get an 'Amen' out of me...

Another successful blog well blogged I feel. Just enough time left to announce that January replacements have been selected. After literally THREE applications, it was a difficult decision to make, but my good friends Ian Emery and Michael Gates will be taking the CATCOUK helm, and keeping you entertained for the two weeks that I'm away for.

Thanks for reading again this week, lets see what little Christmas related suprise I have for you all next week. Just a quick reminder to you all, that as of Monday you have/ had just 19 shoplifting days until Christmas. Get misappropriating those Christmas presents today! (this is not encouragement to start steeling from shops. Don't steel kids, it's not cool)

If you hate Christmas, and would rather I stopped talking about it, why not leave a message saying how much you hate me, and the Little Donkey song (no Graham, I havn't forgotten).

If you like Christmas and think that I should start appearing in Karioke bars everywhere singing yule tide tunes, and spreading my words of joy... Deck the halls with bells of holly, fa la la la la, la la la larrrrrrrrr!

Thank you, I'm here all week.

References

Clarke, A. J. F. (2006). An interesting study into the theory and application of absolute bordom in the motivation of adventure eductaion students in 1750 word essays on risk assesments. The Journal of interesting studies into theories and applications of interesting topics, 2(3) 88-69.

Clarke, A., and Emery, I. (2005). How to commit suicide using basic office tools: a behavioural approach. Ireland: Gobshite Press Inc.

Let's do a low ropes course kids! It's great fun!

No post last night, as I was cream crackered after the weekend's activities, I had to go to bed! I was asleep before 8pm, and after 11 hours sleep, I still didn't want to get up this morning. Even now at 4.30, I still want to go and have a nice little nap in the corner somewhere!

But we must go on.

We'll get to the weekend in a moment, but first I would like to point out what an excellent job I made of parking my car the other day. For your viewing pleasure, I even took a photo! I reversed my car all the way back down this little bit of the car park, which is about 1 and a half car widths wide. I then swung around at the last minute, and ended parking the exact correct distance from the other parked car, and about 2 inches from the car behind. That's what I call artistic driving!

Car Parking as an art form: My park job of the week! (my car is the Champagne Gold colour...)

So, this weekend. In my usual busy-body manner, I ran a sleepover for the NTC cadets in Lancing. For the first time, I had planned an afternoon of activities before the sleepover to wear the kids out, all adventure education orientated (that is what I do at Uni Paul - I learn how to organise NTC trips...). I had three main activities planned, all of which took some setting up.

Three days before, I had gone walking around North Lancing, setting up a 'town trail/ treasure hunt' for the kids to follow. This was in the rain I might add. On the Saturday, Scott, my dad Tim, and I got to the woods, and were there for 3 hours setting up the activities in the woods. Having seen the forecast, we first set up a couple of shelters. Then we spent 90 minutes setting up a Low Ropes course. I of course tested the course out straight away for... Health and Safety reasons. Lastly, I got Dad to set up a 'Lead ropes course'. Basically just a piece of string running through the woods, that the kids will follow later blind folded.

Risk Assesments - the Adventure Education way! Yes that is as painful as it looks. Muppet.

Having left my TV and DVD player at home (which we would need later on in the evening), I fled home in the tRusty ol' Escort, and passed some very confused faces from Implacable (Littlehampton) on the way. We were meeting at 3.15, and there I was speeding in the opposite direction! So I turned up late, but despite the weather forecast, there were glorious blue skies, and sunshine above!

We marched up to the top of the hill, and we began the activities that had been set up. This might actually work. About half way through running the first session, with my Low Ropes group, I realised that I had forgotten something. So I left another officer in charge, and raced back to the car. As I rushed down the hill, blue skies above me, my eye caught sight of the biggest, blackest cloud you have even seen.

Just after 4pm, I got the stuff out of my car, and I felt a drop of water pat me on the head. 5 minutes later, I returned to the woods, mildly wet, to find 30 people huddled under the two shelters we had erected earlier. And the rain pretty much didn't stop for an hour and a half. Bugger.

The 'Town trail' group returned very wet, and in my eyes the whole afternoon was a ... (wait for it) ... wash out! (gettit?) Boom Boom.

At around 6, the rain stopped, so we cut eveything down, and got the kids back to the car park to the minibus. We loaded all the kit into Dad's car, and milled around the car park for a moment. Then, in the space of seconds, the temperature dropped, and it went from dry, to heavy rain, to hail the size of small dogs. Most of the cadets and officers were either on the minibus door side, or were in cars already. There was one cadet standing outside my car getting very wet. In the darkness I didn't see who they were (they may even have been a passer by I suppose...), but I literally threw them into my car to get them out of the hail.

The weather passed over, and the rest of the sleepover was a bit of an anti-climax, and actually went well (probably because I hadn't organised it). After a good 2 hours sleep (it may have been 2.5), I woke up, and started to get ready for our Regional Rifle Shooting Competition. At 7am on the dot (maybe as some sort of payback for keeping me awake all night) I linked my laptop into the Ship's (our Youth Hall anyway) Public address system, and played the Reveille at full volume! Very military. There were some very tired cadets that morning...

Lastly, the competition itself. I normally do okay, and last year I even won. This year I didn't. Now, I don't mind loosing, and I certainly don't mind being beaten by Stuart Ginnaw who is a very good shot. But what I can't fathome, is how my Commanding Officer, who is imfamous for missing the target more often than not beat me to come second! How did he do it? How much did he pay the scorers? Just before the last round, I knew that I needed to get 148 to beat him. So when I scored 146, and knew that I would loose to Brian Orchard but one point, I'm sure you can imagine how gutted I was.

Well done Brian. However you did it.

Just a last reminder, that you could write CATCOUK for a week or two in January whilst I am away with Univeristy. Yep, you've guessed it, we're being forced to go to Lanzarote! Leave a comment telling me that you would like to write it one week!

If you think that my parking is rubbish, why not leave a comment telling me how to park.

If you think my parking is brilliant, and wish you could drive as well as me, why not leave a message saying that your name is Ian Emery, and you'd like tips... (love you Abdulha!)

Christmas landed with a thump this week!

Happy Christmas everyone? It may only be mid-November, but with late-night shopping, and christmas lights all around us, Christmas descends. And this week, Christmas descended rather more heavily on my Mum than on the rest of us.

Whilst sitting at home this Wednesday, actually doing some University work for a change, Mum phoned. She said that she needed me, as she had just had an accident on her motorbike. Although that seems quite serious, I don't know anyone that could keep a straight face, when they hear what actually happenned. Mum's words to me were 'A Christmas decoration has fallen down, and hit me...'.
Regardless of how ridiculous that sounded, I scrambled Ernie the Escort, and in true Starsky & Hutch fashion, screached towards Worthing. Of course Mum had chosen to have an accident during rush hour, so I started to get stuck in traffic, until I decided to take the back streets. At this point, may I add that 60 in a resedential area is not advisable, not that you would find me doing that, even in an emergency.

I pulled up the road to where Mum was, with an Ambulance and a Police car already in attendance, blue lights flashing. I resisted the temptation to get my own blue light out. But when I parked up, I left the hazards on, and parked at a very '70s cop jaunty angle.

From above, God sent a reminder of the true meaning of Christmas: the Moster 10ft Christmas decoration.

It turns out, that just as Mum was pulling away, a 10ft metal Christmas Tree shaped decoration fell 20ft off of a lampost, and pinned her on to her scooter. It was fortunate that out of the many people milling about the market, and shops that it was a motorcyclist that was hit. The doctors said that if she hadn't been wearing her helmet, she would be dead.

Oh look! It's an ambulance.

Anyway, mum was taken to A & E in the ambulance on a spinal board, and neck brace. They took a C-spine X-ray, and some other tests, but fortunatly she just has whiplash, and concussion. By the time Mum was finished in hospital, and we had recovered her bike, it was 11pm! But my visits to Accident & Emergency do not end there...

The very next day, we went Mountain Biking with University. It was a pouring wet day, with enough water falling per metre to float the Titanic! The lecturers decided to ride up Chichester's tallest hill (The Trundle). Of course once you get to the top, there really is only one way to go: Down! So we rode at speed down a very slippery and wet chalk lane, with more potholls than your standard Council maintained road.

With all of these elements stacked against us, it was always going to be a recipe for disaster. I got stuck in a ditch on the way down, and stopped rather abruptly (without injury though). This unfortunatly then caused a freind of mine to crash rather more heavily (sorry Holly). And so it continued on this one spot, with another three nearly comming a cropper. As quickly as I could, I threw crashed bikes out of the ditch, so that anyone that ended up taking this dodgy line had every chance to ride it out.

Of course this wasn't an isolated inccident. By the time I got to the bottom, at least half of the 30 students in the group (including myself) had had an accident of sorts. As soon as I stopped, I saw Batman sitting on his bike, with blood dripping from his arms. I quickly called for a first aid kit, and me and Charlie dressed his wounds. As Batman had flown over his handlebars, he had stretched his hands forwardm and managed to find to sharp flints to slit both his palms on. Seriously slashed palms.

I did the best job I could with Batman, when I hear a voice say 'Andy, my wrist is really sore'. I turn to see Holly holding her left wrist. I carried out a quick examination of her wrist, and realise that she has either broken her schaffoid, or damaged some ligaments. Either way, it meant my second visit to A&E. We cycled back to Uni via the shortest route, and I then drove her (accompanied by our friend Kat) to St. Richard's Hospital.

3 hours, 1 X-ray, a Cheese and Onion sandwich, and lots of pain-killers later, we emmerge from A&E. Having had no lunch, we were starving, and Holly had managed to blag a sandwich out of the Nurses. Unfortunatly (for Holly) it was a Cheese & Onion sandwich, whuch Holly hates with a passion. However, she put her quarrels aside, and ate half of it anyway. After offering Kat the second half, I ate the rest. Filling was good, but the bread was drier than fire.

Thanks to my best friend Michael for the loan of the Mountain Bike.

Having started this post off with a Christmas theme, it seems only fitting to finish with a tail of Winter Sports. Today (Sunday) we took the NTC cadets to Gosprt Ice Rink, for some Ice Skating. May I just say that with my skills, Torvill & Dean can step asside. I'm sure many of the cadets were suprised by my amazing talent... for repeatedly falling about. The photo below catched me on a slightly more stable moment, but a video taken shows exactly how good my skating was...

Get your skates on! Me doing 'Is this the way to Amarillo - ON ICE!'

See the video of me making an even bigger ass of myself on my CATCOUK2 (Bebo)! catcouk.bebo.com. You'll notice that I was skating in exceptionally difficult conditions, as the rink was actually on the side of a building...

Thanks to Abdulha (of TS Sturdy) for the photo and video.

Well that's it from me for another week. Merry Christmas to you all... Before I go, I have some exciting announcements to make. Firstly, two of you readers will get the chance to write my blog for a week. Basically, I'm going away for two weeks in January, and like any good TV show, or radio show, I need cover! If you'd like to write my blog for a week (or two if we're short on applicants), leave a comment now!

Secondly, I am working on a special Christmas Treat for you all. A simple little Christmas MP3 looms on the horizon... This is the last time I'll mention Christmas until we actually get near Christmas. Unlike the shops, here at CATCOUK, we still appreciate the values of Christmas. We celebrate the coming of Jesus with our presents, and remember the birth of Father Christmas (or was it the other way around? I forget). Anyways, CATCOUK is a Christmas free zone until we actually get there!

If you think that my Ice Skating is rubbish, as well as being absolutly correct, you may wish to leave a comment reminding me of this fact.

If you think that my Ice Skting is as good as Torvill and Dean, as well as finding out who Torvill and Dean are, you may want to leave a comment lying through your teeth, and cheering me up!

If you want to be CATCOUK for a week or two, LEAVE A COMMENT NOW!

Another slow news week was it?

Just like a small child, with all of the hipe now building up in the shops, I am getting ever so slightly excited over a little event coming up, known to many, as Christmas. So for the next few weeks, I'll give you my official CATCOUK countdown to Christmas.

From today (Sunday when this was written) you have only 41 shopping days left to Christmas (unless you live in Lancing, in whuch case you have only 41 shoplifting days to Christmas).

As I'm sure the most observant of you will have noticed, it has been another slow week in my world. So for a vague attempt at humour, I'm going to throw together some completely unrelated stuff, in the hopes that you will come back next week. Oh well, I'm trying...

To start with, I have to tell you that I have endured a terrible cold all week. Just like Chris Moyles, I know that when I'm ill, it is a National Tradegy. So fear not, for I have now fully recovered, but not before struggling through a horrible cold. It was one of those colds where you woke up with absolutly no energy whatsoever. I litterally had just enough energy to get out of bed, drive to Uni, sleep through lectures, drive home (whilst sleeping), and then go to bed (again to sleep, rather than with someone else...).

But even with my plague, I struggled on, and still went to University, and still went to work. Although why on Earth I made an effort to go to Sainsbury's I'll never know... (guessed I must have been ill - oh I was). Just like I always say: 5 minutes early is on time, on time is late. Although what that has to do with being ill I don't know.

The band has started learning Christmas tunes this week, ready for a Christmas lights thing in Chichester. An officer from the Chichester unit (TS Sturdy) has sent us all the music he wants us to play (as it's his event). The officer is question who shall remain nameless (evening Graham by the way) has given us EIGHT tunes to learn from scratch in three band nights. Hard times ahead I feel.

But we had a bash at them on Monday (bash being the operative word). I swear Graham, I'm going to nut you for unleashing the horrors of 'Little Donkey' upon us. Ironically, it's also the only tune that the whole band can play... If I hear that tune again, I'm going to have to drive my car clear over a cliff. The drumming to it is impossible. Anything that we've tried just sounds really messy. ARGHHH!

Finally, (to make up for the series of long blogs lately) I would like to thank everyone that has offered me support this week. Not wanting to hide anything from my faithful readers, so I'll tell you as well, my parents are splitting up. So thank you everyone that has been there for me. This post is dedicated to all of you. Offers have gone from 'you know my number' to 'I'll cook you dinner', and one friend even offered me a bed (well her settee anyway).

To try and avoid ending on a bum note, some of you may remember that our Marching Band recently did amazingly well. If you'd like to see why we did so well (or just see me in funny clothes playing a drum), you can now watch a video of our routine on YouTube! So that you all appreciate the effort involved, I spent over an hour editing that movie. It's not an epic, like Gandhi, or Borat: Cultural Learnings of America Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, but it is award winning... Sorry, multi-award winning! Thanks to the people at the University's Media Centre (whose patience must have been tried - what I know about media fits nicely onto the head of a very small pin). If you like the film, please leave a comment, and a 5 star rating. Mainly so that the young people in my group know how well they did...

If you think yet again, I've wasted your time with this dribble, and I really should work harder at getting decent news stories, why not leave a comment telling me I'm a slacker.

If (by some miracle) you enjoyed this week's post, why not leave a comment telling me that you don't get out much (even less than me - and that would be a feat!).

(PS - I won't mention Graham's name in this post, as I don't want any backlash to Graham for the torture that is small children trying to play 'Little Donkey'. Afterall, Graham didn't write the devil's own carol, no that came from Beelzebub's own satanic fart... Graham just chose the carol, so we shouldn't hold it against Graham. So for goodness sake, don't mentions Graham's name - got it?)

At least with you, 50% of what you say is relevant...

Good morning CATCOUK fans!

Apologies for late blogging, but I have had a VERY busy weekend. Today's title is brought to you by a friend of mine, and you'll find out why later on in the post (keeping you gripped!).

Monday of this week, I bought a new mobile phone, bringing myself into the 21st century. As well as being able to make phone calls, and text people (yep, phones can still do those things) this phone has an MP3 player, can make video calls, and take photos! As I told you in a previous post, my camera is broken, so this camera has come in handy!

But I'm going off on a tangent. This weekend has been exceptionally busy. I was up at 6.30am Staurday morning to take Hannah, Holly, and Luke to the NTC's sailing centre to go on the powerboat course I got them booked on. I picked up Hannah and Luke first, and then went on to Holly's house. She got in the car, and looked a bit ill (she's had a cold recently, and I'm guessing the 7.30 start for her was a bit early).

By this time of course I'm quite bouncy and enthusiastic. Holly looked at me with quite a sour expression, and asked 'Are you always up at this time of the morning?'. Of course I am, most weekends I have to be up ready for the NTC with all of my usual enthusiam in front of kids. Needless to say, Holly would have been quite happy to go back to sleep.
Did I mention last week that we won a couple of trophies...

So I dropped the three of them off in Portsmouth, at 8am, and then drove to Lancing ready for a Band performance with our award winning Marching Band. I arrived at the Parish Hall at 9.30am, and we were there until 1pm. Thanks to Lancing & Sompting Lions club for a really good morning, and Mrs. Orchard raised £60 on our stall! We're now a wingmirror closer to a minibus for the group!!!

In the afternoon I took Mum shopping. By this point, as you'll see below, I was getting a bit snap happy with the camera on my phone. This next picture shows you a happy little character that Sainsbury's are selling for Christmas. I'm sure you've all seen this type of thing, you squeeze thge paw, and it sings.

Me and Mum is Sainsbury's, we just love it... not.

Me with a nearly whole hand on bananas (there's only 6 there, and 7 make a hand).

This week whilst I was sitting on the till, a small child was setting off this particular toy over and over again. Now I'm no humbug, but is it wrong to think about axing an entertaining stuffed raindeer to death? My goodness, it was driving me bonkers! I quite liked it the first couple of times, but on the tenth playing...

Jingle and indeed Bells. The bells, the bells... HELP!!!

But back to my weekend. 7pm came, and my £300 dinner jacket got it's annual dusting off. The Lions Charter Night (dinner dance) was a particularly good evening. Unlike most posh restaurants, the food here was actually quite good. And by that I mean we actually got some food. With these posh places, the food is normally all art, and no food. A couple of leaves sprinkled with a dribble of colour stuff.

Incase you wondered, I'm on the right, and good lord, is that a bowtie?

Well, the starter was like this, three thin slices of melon, and a dribble of red sauce over the top. Oh dear. But the main course was a reasonable sized piece of chicken, and then a huge bowl of crumble for afters! Well done.

10pm came, the speeches were over, and dashed back to the Mark 4, and drove back down to Portsmouth. I arrived there at 10.45pm. Whenever I've been down to NSTC Lion (the sailing centre) with the youth group, we send the kids to bed at 10.30, and then the officers are up until the smal hours chatting. So you can imagine my suprise when I arrived, and everyone either in bed, or on their way to bed! Light weights...

Sunday, I spent the morning assisting on the powerboat course, and everyone passed. We were talking about other members on the Powerboat course, and Holly had said how she couldn't understand how on particular bloke could keep talking about such irrelevant stuff. And here comes the quote.. 'At least with you [Andy], 50% of what you say is relevant'. Oh thank you very much!

I should also point out that Hannah is a trainee teacher. She's obviously not very well behaved on her course, because she's been sentenced to doing her teacher training at Lancing's Boundstone Community College (the t's are silent if you talk to any of the kids). But I told Hannah that she'd be alright, just as long as she kept wearing that stab vest!

Driving... yeah I did alot of that this weekend.

Luke and Hannah - drugs aren't cool kids!

Holly (she's really worried that she didn't look good enough - well you can't look good all the time... lol)

Anyways, 2.30pm, and I left Portsmouth, droppedmy friends off in Chichester, and arrived in Lancing (again) at 4pm - ready for yet another band engagement. There was also a band engagement last night, but I was at the Lion's dinner dance. So we loaded up the cars, met up with our sister ships, and formed a huge combined marching band to lead the 15 000 people at the Guildford fireworks carnival procession.

I eventually got home last night at 11.10pm, had some dinnr, and write a quick blog post. But before I finish, I really must say a big thank you to the one person that made this weekend possible - Ernie (my 1986 Ford Escort 1.4 GL Estate in Champagne Gold). Over the weekend, my 20 year old car did 390 miles! 20 years old, and my car has never let me down. That's better than most modern cars!

87 000 miles young - Good ol' Ernie, he's not let me down yet!

If you've had busier weekends, and think that I'm pathetic, and should really stop complaining (did I mention I also have a cold), leave me a message saying that your car has down 1390 miles!

If you now understand me better, and no longer think that my work in the NTC is a bit geeky, you could leave a message saying that your name is Holly....

Stay tuned...

Sorry, this week's post is going to be a day late. It's now Sunday at 11.57 (and not the one with daylight), and I really REALLY need some sleep.

Tune in from Monday after 1200 to find out why (what a cliff-hanger)...

Well, that was a relaxing half term (oh, I mean 'reading week'...)

Relax. No need to cover your ears! This week's 'show' is being 'broadcast' using my keyboard only. You don't have to hear my dolcit tones through your speakers this week!

To briefly cover last week's attempt...

Apologies to everyone. I owe you all 25 minutes of your life back (although I'm sure it's MUCH more if you read this dribble every week). The response was varied, from 'I feel dirty' to 'You had me in tears with laughter'. Not everyone pur their comments on my Blog, some just resorted to that old fashioned method of speaking to me! Thanks to my brother Ian for doing the news, Comedic Dave (to avoid Radio 1 copywright). When we recorded the interview (me and Comedic Dave were in my car, at the Uni car park out the back of the Art block. Yes, there was a skip full of rubbish).

Before we get onto this week (WARNING: LONG BLOG ALERT) I need to cover some house keeping. First off, my digital camera is just about dead - in Monty Python's words, it's an Ex-Parrot (or camera). My pictures from now on are pretty rubbish. Sorry.

Also, the winner of the Mars bar (sorry to all others) was Scott Harris for getting joint top score of 70% on the Bebo October Quiz, and for contacting me first after last week's podcast. Congratulations Scott! We had a lavish awards ceremony on Friday (and after the photo was taken, I nearly walked off with the prize!!!).

Scott wins the OCTOBER QUIZ (only on catcouk.bebo.com)

So, on to this week. I had the week 'off' Uni this week, as it's our version of half-term, laughably known as 'Reading Week'. I have been working flat out over the last couple of weeks, whilst also trying to recover from clinical depression and stress. I know this will come as a shock to the CATCOUK faithful, but it is the truth. So anyways, I'm not after sympathy, you just need to understand that I really needed a rest this week!

Driving home Friday afternoon last week, I sat in my car, and laughed! Relax! This week. Chance would be a fine thing! Here is my week of fun:

Last FRIDAY: TS Intrepid host an open evening. A big event for my youth group, as it was pretty much make or break. It being the case that I'm the general dog's body on the ship (and I do most things) I was racing around like a blue ar**d fly trying to get everything ready in time. Everything was just ready as doors opened at 7.30pm, and I threw my uniform on, so that I could play with the band.

Things calm down after a really succesful evening, and I'm talking with the boss (Commanding Officer Brian). He said to me, 'years ago, he would have been really worried about an evening like tonight. But it was nice not to worry tonight, because I knew my junior officers were taking care of it. Years ago, I would have been running about like a mad man organising it, and it was nice to see someone else doing it for a change!' Yeah - ME! Thanks Brian! You can keep the CO's badge for many years yet...

Sorry Holly, this was why I couldn't come to Shieks that night!

Last SATURDAY/ SUNDAY: I attended an RYA Safety Boat course in Portsmouth (NSTC Lion), whilst my Marching Band (with NTC youth group) had a band training sleepover weekend. The course wasn't stressful, but it was important to take note - I might have to use the knowledge to save lives one day. But after the course was finished on the Saturday, I drove the 40 miles back to Lancing to spend the evening with my band.

I drove 40 miles to get a bad back sleeping on a rock hard stage (that amplified farts into earthquakes - me an my fellow officers were woken up at 5 with the loudest fart in the history of mankind - Hi Shaun). I drove 40 miles to get one of my cadets say to me 'Why aren't you here? We need you! You're out of order and just not committed!' I'm sure you can imagine I had some choice words for him (Hi Sam). I drove 40 miles to then drive 40 miles back the next morning for part deux of the Safety Boat course. I am now a fully qualified RYA Safety Boatman now though. To find out if how the band did, read on...

TUESDAY: Having missed Mum's birthday last Tuesday (busy at Uni, left home at 8am, got back at 10pm) I took Mum down to Gun Wharf Quays, Portsmouth. We also went up the Spinnaker Tower (a birthday treat for Mum - Happy 51st Birthday Moo!).

Happy Birthday Moo (Mum's nickname, whilst I am Roo - AndROO), waiting in the que to go up Portsmouth's Spinnaker Tower. For more happy snaps, check out the album on my Bebo.

THURSDAY/ FRIDAY: Shock Horror! I actually went to University on these two days! I really had to do some work, as I have a 2000 word psychology assignment for next week. And I just couldn't get motivated. Ironice really, seeing as how motivation was the subject of the assignment...

SATURDAY: My friend Rob was down from London (Hi Rob), so we went out for the day with our friend Scott. And then we spent the evening watching Littlehampton Bonfire parade! I eventually got home at 11pm!

SUNDAY: Oh my god. I can't even begin to tell you how stressful Sunday was. The Nautical Training Corps National Band Contest (what the band was practicing last week). Anyone that has ever performed in a competition of any sort will know how stressful that is alone, but I also had to do the PR for this event, so again (like last Friday) I was running around like a headless chicken. But it was worth.

Really I should devote a whole post to this, but I think this makes my point subtly enough:






WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!
WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!
WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!

Point made. All of the hard work paid off. The Marching Band of TS Intrepid NTC had it's most successful contest EVER! In the ship's 45 year history, we have never won so many awards: 7 trophies (there were only 3 we didn't get!): Best Percussion, Best Mallets (bell lyres), Best General Music Effect, Best Display and Showmanship, Best Dress and Turnout (smart uniforms), Best Drum Major (person at the front with big stick), and CHAMPIONS OF NOVICE CLASS with 590 points (4th highest score accross ALL of the bands in ALL of the classes).

The multi-award winning Novice Class champions - 2006: the Marching Band of TS INTREPID. Look - that's me on the right!

Just incredible. 5 weeks ago, we didn't even really have a whole band (only 9 people). Most of all (and I've chanted this all day) I am so impressed with our Drum Major (well done Lizzie). She only JOINED THE SHIP 6 weeks ago! I just asked if she'd like to have a go, and she was 1.25 (that's one and a quarter) points away from winning best drum major out of any of the classes (all above awards are best in Novice Class).

I can't type enough for you to feel my excitement. I am so proud of all of my cadets. Regardless of who takes the mick out of me for doing what I do with the NTC (yes Chris Hodgson [Uni Lecturer] - I mean you!), I am amazed. We even won best percussion with ME playing a drum - what is going on? If I can get some paperwork done, I'll put our performance on YouTube. Brilliant.

So, that was my nice relaxing (ha ha) week away from Uni. I'm now up late tonight telling you, and I'll be sleeping... no I mean sitting and listening intently in a lecture tommorrow. Have a good week y'all!

If you think I'm a wuss, and really, I did have a relaxing week, and I should try working for a living instead of a being a scumbag student, why not leave a comment telling me how much you hate me.

If you understand what I'm saying, and would like to help me 'relax' (females only - not you Abdulha...) leave me a comment starting with 'Relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it'.

SPECIAL: Good Morning Viet Nam (no, I mean Sussex)

As regular bloggers will know, I threatened to create a 'breakfast radio show' podcast (MP3). Well, I have the pleasure of announcing this special edition of CATCOUK. This week's post is downloadable as a 25 minute podcast (with music).

The podcast should be available from Monday morning (but if it's not, try again from Monday evening - I'm not uploading it, a friend is [Thanks to Ian 'Horatio Abdulha' Emery]). So, in true Chris Moyles Show style:

DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST - NOW!

If you can't download this by Tuesday morning, please let me know!!!

Just in case you can't, here's a quick list of what's coming up in today's show (add your own background music...):

Rubbish from me,
Celebrity interview with 'Comedy Dave' (you know that bloke from the Chris Moyles Show...),
And todays most average music for Sussex,
Coming up today, only on Flora 109.2!!

Don't touvh that dial, stay tuned to CATCOUK for more rubbish next week...

A student's life for me

Crikey! Two University themed posts in as many weeks!

Well, as you may have guessed, it's that time of the week again! Another chance to read about the exciting life of me, your amazingly good looking host, Andy (well, I am if you shut your eyes, and think of some one good looking...). Anyways, I would like to tell you an epic story of hardship, late nights, and lots of work. I would like to tell you about student life!

Last week, you heard about life at one end of the spectrum - it's all glamorous nights out, with glamourous people, followed by glamourous trips to the doctor! Unfortunatly, being the sad git that I am, I know nothing of the normal student excitement, for I am chained to my laptop. Well, I do alot of work on it anyway!

One thing that really gets to me (as I'm sure regular readers will know) is working for Sainsbury's on the tills. In fact, I described working on the tills full-time this week as "a fate worse than death!" But Sainsbury's can't be all fun and games... Oh no. I have to wile away the hours of boredom with something productive. Now normally, I'd plan something for NTC, but when it got to 7 o'clock on Thursday evening, I'd planned just about all that I could plan!

Sitting there at the till, slowly contemplating suicide using a barcode reader, I realised that I could do something! I had to hand some work in Friday morning at Uni! So, I tore a blank till reciept off, and started to plan my 'lesson' (for that was the task). A work of genious.

Do you have a reciept for that sir? Another beautifully crafted bit of degree level homework!

Unfortunatly, I couldn't concentrate on my work as much as I'd like to, as these customers kept coming to my till, expecting service! Anyways, when I went home at 10 o'clock, I had a complete plan of what I wanted on the lesson plan, the resourcse that I'd need, how many staff, and what activities I'd be doing (and how long for). Of course, I wouldn't want the lecturers thinking I'd done it the night before, so I typed it up neatly on my laptop, ready to hand in (although if your reading this Matt or Reg, I guess the game's up!).

So that's how I get alot of work done. I do Uni work when I'm meant to be working at Sainsbury's, and I do NTC work, when I'm meant to be doing Uni stuff. It all works! Well, unless you're Sainsbury's, in which case, I guess you're not really getting your money's worth!

Now, another aspect of studentn life, is where we live. I live at home with parents, and get my food cooked/ burnt for me by Mum (cheers Moo if you're reading). As shocking as this sounds, some students have to really 'slum it' as they live in student houses. They're forced to burn their own food, and live in filthy conditions for the year (well, until the landlords clean the houses out spotlessly clean ready for the next year's students!).

But I learnt this week, that one of my friends does not have to lower herself to Student life. To keep this persons identity a secret, we'll call her Siobhan Todd, of Worthing, and the University of the West of England, Bristol (UWE). I think that's kept her name secret enough. Anyways, I should explain that Siobhan does an environmental course, with the Environment Agency. She only has to go to the Bristol Uni for odd weeks here and there.

So, talking to her the other day, and she told me she was at UWE this week. I said in sympathy, did you have to spend the week in halls? No. Student Housing? No. Relatives houses? No. Travel Lodge/ Holiday Inn type thing? No. Siobhan (have I named and shamed her enough yet, not that that is her real name of course...) was put up in a country house/ hotel in the countryside! She didn't even have to cook - it was full board! The Environment Agency pay for it!

Restoration: No bloke from the BBC, but I am refurbishing the roofrack of this 'classic' car.

Now, we're not just talking a farmhouse, or something subtle here! No, no. This is a full-on country manor, that businesses hire out for conferences and the like. Oh poor Siobhan (oop's the name's slipped out again). Well, I suppose all we can do is congratulate Siobhan on her choice of course... It's not like I'm going to Lazarote with Adventure Ed in January for some winter sunshine...

Finally, I'd like your help. As my trusted band of bloggers (that's you if your reading this now - even you Partario Basin, who I have no idea who you are) I listen to your comments. As many of you will know, I drive a very unique car (a 1986 Ford Escort Estate 1.4 GL). And one of the things that makes my car so special, is the very unique roofrack. The roofrack is off of a 1960's Ford Transit Van (and therefore - HUGE!). It takes up the whole length of my roof! I am refurbishing it (getting rid of the rust, and painting it). What colour should I paint it? At the moment, I'm thinking either black (like the Camel Trophy Land Rovers), or Champagne Gold (to match my car's colour). Leave a comment telling me what colour you suggest, anf why.

If you couldn't care less about what colour my roofrack is, because in 6 months you'll have crashed into me, writing the car off, why not leave me a comment warning me to keep off the road?

If you have a crazy suggestion for the colour of my roofrack (or even a sensible one), why not leave me a message, so that I can think about painting it that colour (and before you say it, no I won't be spraying it pink anytime soon...)?

[LEGAL NOTICE: Any names or places used in this post are fictional, and any resemblance to real palces or persons dead or alive is purely coincidental. Even if your name is Siobhan Todd, and you live in Worthing, and study at the University of the West of England, with the Enviorinment Agency, it is just a conicidence. Thank you.]