We were Robbed...

If there are any people out there that actually listen to what I say, then you may know that many posts ago, I said that I wouldn't be talking about football in this blog. So the title above is not related to any football match. It's not related to any sporting event in fact.

After a very, very, very dull week, my friend Scott and I were invited by our friend Rob (get the title?) to go and stay at his London penthouse for the weekend. Rob lives in an exclusive part of London called Penge with his girlfriend Alice. Alice had gone away for a week to visit her sister in Ireland, so 'while the cat's away - the mice will play'.

So, me and Scott loaded up the Mark IV, and Ernie took us up the A23 through Croydon, until we hit Penge. Mind you, we did take several... er... scenic detours! I'm sure there is a whole road missing somewhere up there. Anyways, we got to Rob's flat at 11.30pm. Rob lives on the top floor (where else would you find a penthouse?), and from his living room I could see my car (what better view could I ask for?).

Room with a view: I love my car, and it looks all shiny and nice - yes I cleaned it.

Okay, so by know you should have realised that I'm being sarcastic. Although I had visions of some grotty Souf London flat (think Nelson Mandela House [Only Fool and Horses]), Rob actually has a really nice place. Unusually for London, we only heard one siren over the whole stay at Rob's place, and as you can see from the photo above, my car left with the four wheels that we went with! To be honest, I'm very jealous.

Now, Rob can't drive, but for him that's not a problem - he get's driven everywhere! In his job, he often get's 'Chauffeur' driven to his meetings. Is he a CEO of a big London company? No of course not, but he is the boss' PA. So when he offered us a trip to Bromley, how could we resist. And of course we didn't drive. We took the number 227 bus! This is Rob's other mode of transport...

'Rob get's 'Chauffeur' driven everywhere: in this case, the Chauffeur was a London Transport Bus Driver...(Although I hope he wasn't as drunk as this photo was)

On Sunday, with Rob's unbelievably high pay, we walked to France! Below are some pictures that we took along the way. As it turns out, London is very close to France. We only had to take a 10 minute walk to see all these sights.

Le Tour Eiffel:That's how they say Eiffel Tower in France

Another racey picture: We even had time to see the Le Mans race track, but from quite a distance. Look at how small the car is...

The HEAD of state: No, I don't know either...

And when we got to the other side of France, guess what we found? Egypt!

The Sphinx: much small than I though it would be.

You're History!: Yes, this wonder of the world sure make you think - how did the Egyptians ever manage to build this?

Pyramid Company: Talking of the Pyramids, where are they?

Last but by no means least, I would like to point out that wearing his new £1000 glasses, Rob is a spitting image for that bloke off of 8 out of 10 cats (Channel 4). No, not Jimmy Carr, or Dave Spikey, that other guy that occasionally appears on QI or Mock the Week (BBC2). His name aside, here is a picture of Rob and... the other guy.

Spitting Image: Here is a picture of Sean Lock and that other guy... oh yeah, Rob. Sean Lock on the left, and Rob, Scott and I on the right...

All of the photos aside, it was a great weekend, although my friends just don't have the stamina any more! For me, Shieks (club in Bognor) was on Thursday night, so I eventually got into bed at 2.30am. Friday was a 3am bedtime, after we drove to London and caught up with the gossip. Saturday night, we watched a couple of films on DVD (after I endured the final of the Eggs Factor, oh I mean X Factor - I really hate that program). So that was a 3.30am. Rob and Scott (after sleeping their way through most of Mission Impossible III) went out like lights, and didn't wake up until 11am the next morning. Bearing in mind that this was my third late night on the trot, those two must be getting old. I didn't fall asleep until 4am, but I was awake by 9am. What can I say, Scott and Rob are amateurs!

I've had a long drawn out week, and a busy weekend, and now I would like some sleep. Watch out for next week's Christmas edition, which will be available from Christmas Day (or Christmas Eve if you're up trying to catch Father Christmas). I have a special CATCOUK version of the Twelve Days of Christmas in the pipeline ready for your listening pleasure.

Happy Christmas if you don't read up until then!

If you live in London, and hate me, why not leave me a message and tell me to keep out of London under penality of food poisening (I forgot to mention the garlic bread from Rob's local Pizza place - good Pizza though).

If you live in London, love me, and want to start a relationship, why not leave a comment starting with your message with the word 'Antidisestablishmentarianism' and leave your vital statistics, post code, and house number.

[Technical Note:In case you are gullible enough to believe that gullible is the only word mentioned in the Oxford dictionary twice (once under the letter 'gee', and again under the letted 'ged'), France and Egypt photographed in this post are actually differenr parts of Crystal Palace park.]