But I don't have a girlfriend...

Merry Christmas to y'all! If you're reading this on Monday (ie Christmas Day) you need to get out more! But Merry Christmas to everyone anyway!

Before we get onto this week's feature, I thought that I would take the time to answer some of your comments.

Robert said...
Hey ClarkeFace, Where is the pic of me and Drum Roll please....... Sean Lock!! Nice to know you had a good weekend at mine... Although, Call me a amateur, some 23yr olds like a cup of horlicks and and early night, plus what you have to remember is you dont live with Alice!!!

I say...
Put your glasses on! The picture of Sean Lock, and Scott, you and I is at the bottom! And I would like to point out that you don't have to live with... er... my cat!

Me Again ! said...
Andy, you really must see someone about your sense of humour. Now you have to explain the title so we know what you are talking about. By the way, you didn't mention the advent calendar this week, have you got to the date where you get a degree behind the window !!!!!

I say...
Robbed - because we went to ROB's flat. Gettit? And as you should know, I've got a degree behind every window so far. I am know degreed in English, Maths, Scienece, Spelling, Advanced Thermoquantum Nuclear Dynamical systems, Sport and Exercise Science, Maths (Doctorate), and 17 other thingys...

Ian Emery said...
I heard about a bunch of nutters terrorising parts of London over the weekend, thought there had just been a breakout at a secure hospital until I read your post....! Glad to hear you had a good weekend, as you'll see, thankfully the NTC disco continued in the traditional way without most of it's core members: http://the-mighty-oak.blogspot.com. Looking forward to hearing your "12 days". Don't think I'll see you beforehand, so have a great Xmas mate. Best Yuletide Wishes Abdulla and the Christmas Camels www.ntc.org.uk/sturdy (1st birthday coming up!)

I say...
Firstly, that wasn't us. That was Al-Qaeda. And several months ago now... Secondly, all I saw on your blog, was YOU wearing MY YMCA hat. You're a marked man. Lastly, you did see me before Crimbo, I saw you this afternoon. RASP!

RobbieFrancis83 said...
RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO RobbieFrancis83 @ BEBO To see Andy look a PRAT!!!!

I say...
Pillock. Your Bebo didn't work when I looked (well it did, but only when I signed in as your friend). If anyone wants to know what Rob is on about, wait a few weeks, and I'll tell you all about it!

babii-gurl said...
andy hi glad you had a great weekend at robs, most houses nd tht are quite nice up in london it depends what part of london you are in.and wheres the advent calender this week? im lookinhg forward to the 12 days of christmas thing it gonna be good i hope, i aint gonna listen to no rubbish andy lol. naomi xx

I say...
You can get a CAPITAL letter by using the SHIFT button! Advent Calender is now all eaten, and you can see what fun I had with it all on my Bebo. I hope you all enjoyed my Calender as much as I did (although I would have to very much doubt it...)

Wasn't that great. Audience interaction, what a wonderful tool.

Just before we get onto what you are all waiting for, I need to tell you that my car had a sore throat this week. Well, the exhaust blew, and right underneath my seat. Driving my car around has been like listening to a combination of cars. This week Ernie has been three cars for the price of a half a car! At idle, my car sounded a bit like a 1960's Jaguar E Type, but as soon as I pull away, or start to accelerate, my car magically turned into... the Trotter's three-wheeled van! At times, it was also possible to hear an undertone late 80's Ford Transit 2.0 diesel. Lovely. My friend Stuart also suggested that there was a bit of B52 Bomber in there as well.

But rest easy this Christmas, for me and my Dad have fixed Ernie (well the Exhaust anyway). The two parts of the exhaust had come apart, as we had to jack the car up, and tighten the exhaust bracket up. Now my car just sounds like the starship Enterprise! The rear wheel bearings have gone, so as I get faster, this thudding sound gets faster and louder. Just like some fusion reactor. Marvelous. Service around the corner then...

And onto this week's special feature! It's what you've all been waiting for...

A long time ago (about 2944 days ago), in a city far far away (unless you live in Brighton & Hove, in which case the city is very very close), lived a comedian, known only as 'Baldy', who ran a late night radio show (Sony Gold Award winner, beating Ricky Gervais amongst others) called Terry Garoghan's Last Bus to Whitehawk, began a Christmas tradition. In 2002, Terry was deemed too rude for Radio, so we pay tribute to Terry here, with (the longest intro ever, and)...

THE CATCOUK 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SPECIAL! (mp3)

Thanks to my brother for helping out. This was all done in one take as well. If you'd like to put this on loud speaker, and sing along with your family, around the Turkey roast, here are the words...

On the X day of Christmas, my girlfriend gave to me (although I don't have a girlfriend):

1st ...and a Ford Escort 1.4 GL
2nd ...2 scumbag students
3rd ...3 Cop Show videos
4th ...4 Marching Bands
5th ...5 Breakfast Radio Shows!
6th ...6 Nights out Drinking
7th ...7 Sainsbury's Trolleys
8th ...8 Courtesy Cars
9th ...9 Leaky Urinals
10th ...10 Broken Wrists
11th ...a Christmas Tree related Accident
12th ...CATCOUK.BLOGSPOT.COM

A Very Merry Christmas to you all from CATCOUK.

If you recieved a Christmas present this year, why not leave a comment and tell us all what you got.

If you didn't get a Christmas present this year, don't blame me. Sorry!