It must be national stupid sign week...

Hello All! Time for another dive (or is that fall) into the wonderful world of CATCOUK. Before we get onto this week's topic, I'd just like to take some time to answer some of your comments.

Siobhan from Worthing asks:
Where was last week's 'reason-for-not-doing-any-overtime of the week', and how do you pronounce CATCOUK?

Well Siobhan, last week's reason was suspended, as I actually had to do some damned overtime (yeah laugh it up, it's not going to happen again anytime soon). Unfortunatly, I had to do one shift to keep the boss happy, and even more unfortunatly, I still need her on my side. Secondly, you pronounce CATCOUK like this: CATCOUK. I hope that answers that question, that I know alot of you were thinking about.

Ian from Chichester asks:
Why is the text getting smaller? I already have trouble reading it.

In truth, I have absolutly know idea. And to be honest, I can read it fine. So my answer to you Ian would be this: you should have gone to Spec... Optical Express!

Many of you may remember that last week I had a towbar fitted, and I wasted no time getting hitched. Alas only a trailer with my car, but I'm still hoping to meet that special person... Well I know you are all dieing to know how my first towing session went (or as Rob from London quite wittily put it, my first session 'on the pull').

Well, it was a beautiful sunny morning on Monday, and I had already collected the trailer the night before. I had left it on my drive overnight. For some reason, my brother (who usually parks his horrible cheap plasticy Astra next to me) had parked his car off the drive way when I went to back the trailer up the drive. I've no idea why...

As I said, it was a beautiful day, and I arrived at the Church to collect more kit from Mum's youth group. The trailer was full, so we loaded up the boot of my car (with the seats down - pretty much making it a van...). Once we'd filled the car to the gunwales, we set off for Lewis. I said that I'd follow the minibus, as I didn't know where the place was.

Normally following a minibus poses no problems for my mighty Escort. Unfortuntaly my mighty Escort only packs a 1.4 litre engine, and to be honest, many of the Dagenham Donkeys that were originally packed into it's engine have limped away. Along the flat and downhill, I could pretty much keep pace with the bus (there is a limit to how fast a bus can accelerate). Unfortunatly, when we hit the dual carriageways, the minibus driver (Niel), decoded it would be a good idea to overtake cars whilst going uphill.
We just dinnee have the poower cap'n!

UPHILL!?!?!?!? Good lord. I was struggling along the flat. To keep up, I was having to bury the accelerator deep into the imitation 'No Fear' car mats. Well we made it the end, and remarkably, my fiel economy wasn't too bad either.

'But what of the stupid signs?' I hear yee ask. Well, on my drive on Monday, on one of the country roads was a weak bridge. It had been sign posted for miles as 'Weak Bridge - max 7.5 tons'. When we actually got to the bridge, the sign post was slightly different: Weak bridge - max 7.5 tons, except local busses up to 12 tons. How does a local bus in tons weigh any less than a van in tons. Surely if the bridge can't take more than 7.5 tons, it can't take more than 7.5 tons.

You can'nee change the laws of physics Jim! Even if you are a local bus? (What is it with the Star Trek Scotty quotes this week?)

But that's not all. This week at work, I also had the pleasure of using the staff toilets (I most definatly use pleasure sarcastically). I noticed that they have put up a new sign to encourage colleagues to report leaky taps (all part of saving money). But the sign leads me to ask what kind of men do they think work at Sainsbury's?

The 'Men's room' poster - for nice boys...

Cutie-Pie? But it get's worse. If I report a leaky tap, obviously a plumber will be called out (very quickly if there's saving money involved). How would you phrase that on a poster directed at men? 'Let us know, and we'll call a plumber right away.' Maybe 'Tell us, and we'll get a guy in with a spanner'. No, instead, the geniouses at Sainsbury's decide to put it like this:

They even put 'nice man' in bold. It;s equal oppurtunities gone mad!

I suppose there is an explanation for this. Only gay men fail to report leaky taps. Only gay men leave the taps on. I personally think it must be another explanation: ALL MANAGEMENT AT ALL LEVELS ARE IDIOTS. There are other examples of the sheer stupidity of management and supervisors of Sainsbury's. I mean, how many supervisors does it take to work out that when someone is doing a job, they phisically cannot do another job at the same time, in a completely different location? Pillocks.

If you think that all employees of Sainsbury's are a bit 'doors swinging the wrong way', why not leave a comment telling me how gay you think I am.

If you think that all management of Sainsbury's are idiots, why not leave a comment telling me how long you worked for Sainsbury's.

Quote of the Week: 'If you did more overtime, I wouldn't be as suprised to see you' said slightly less idiotic supervisor Wendy. To which I replied: 'I'd rather you were suprised'.

Reason-for-not-doing-overtime of the week: [in case you didn't read the above] 'I'd rather you were suprised.'