Why a sailing BOOM should be called a sailing THUD!

Good day all! Sorry there was no Blog last week, but as you are about to read, I wasn't all too well, and I was very busy. Instead, those of you needing your regular dose of Andy, I will post again, later in the week. Jobs 'a gooden'!

On to this weeks post: On the bank holiday weekend, I organised and ran a sailing weekend at the NTC's sailing centre in Portsmouth. The weekend was superly successful, and everything happenned as I had asked/ planned! Well... nearly everything.

I managed to get a Peco (small sailing dinghy) for one of the sessions. The weather wasn't brilliant, in fact it was windier than my Dad after dinner (only without the bad smell). Because of this, the staff decided to tow us around to the lake, where it was sheltered. Unfortunalty, the shelter made the wind gusty, so I couldn't really trust the wind or the boat.

I was mucking about in the gusty areas, when I drop the helm (steering thing). The main sheet (ropey thing) was in a bit of a mess, so I decided to sort that out first. I was just finishing the rope, when I feel the rope on the back of my neck. In sailing, this is known as a 'jibe'. You never do this with beginners, as the boom (the thing along the bottom of the sail) moves from 90 degrees on one side of the boat, to 90 degrees on the other side of the boat - in LESS than a second!

It doesn't take a genius to work out that that is fast! I'd been doing this all day, but I had expected the jibes. This time, I only had enough time to think "Oh dear this is going to hurt!" before the jibe happened. One of the first things a beginner sailor will tell you, is that a boom is called a boom because it makes a "BOOM!" sound when it hits your head. Using that idea, I propose that the boom be renamed to a thud.

The boom struck my head with a very heavy thud, and took me clean out the boat. The next thing I remember after being hit, was looking up through the water thinking "What's going on here? Oh yeah I remember!" I surfaced just in time to see the boat fall on top of me. Knowing that I could pass out at any moment (it was a large hit), I got the boat upright straight away. If I'd gone unconscious, I could have drowned, I only wore a Buoyancy Aid.

Anyways, I acted so quickly, and got back on the boat, that the safety boat hadn't realised I'd gone over! With a bump the size of a small planet on my head (no joke, it was huge!), I had to re-rig my boat, and sail after a safety boat!

Of course, this isn't the end of the story! To try and make up for no Blog last week, we'll make up for it, by telling you the story of the Hospital. I arrived at the hospital, and went to reception. You have to consider that I have a second head growing (about the size of a large egg). The man on reception looked at me (and probably the lump) and asked "How can I help you?" I have a huge lump on my head, and I'm standing in the middle of A&E. It took forever to reply, as I just couldn't believe the utter stupidity of the question. I nearly said "Hi there. I'd like a quater-pounder with cheese, large fries" but decided to carry on instead.

After a series of questions about who I am, where I live, who my Doctor is, and all the rest of it, the guy on reception started recording how the accident happened. Please, still bear in mind that I have a large bump on my forehead, and the guy finishes his questions with "So you've had a sailing accident? And the injury was to your head?" I just stare back at the bloke, gobsmacked. All I could do was shake my head, and reply "Yes. Yes it was."

I see the nurse, and the doctor and they decided the injury was pretty minor, and no serious damage done. I explained to the doctor that I was running a youth weekend, and I ask if he'd got any bandages kicking around that he can wrap around my head, so that we can have a joke with the kids. He looked back at me, absolutly deadpan, and replied "That would be a waste of money wouldn't it." From this, we can assume the NHS really does have money problems - they can't afford a 60p bandage!

Well that's this post done. Don't forget to check later in the week, for the bonus extra!

If you enjoyed having a week off my Blog, really wish that I'd stop all together, and not bother with an extra post this week, why not leave a comment, and tell me to shut my mouth!

If you enjoyed this post, can't wait for the bonus post, and wish I'd post every hour or every day, why not leave a comment saying how much you enjoy living in the assylum! Cheers!