Later than geriatric striker on sleeping tablets, for a football match!

I'd like to say that I'm sorry for an exceptionally late blog, but I can't lie. There used to be a time when I would be late with a post, and at least someone would complain. None of you can be bothered any more can you?

Well, as I'm sure you've guessed, it's been a busy couple of days. I haven't been near my laptop in several days. But I'll tell you all why towards the end...

It's report writing time at Chesswood School, and believe it or not, all the teachers are very busy writing/ typing them all. One colleague of mine, Zoe, told me that she ran a word count on one of her reports, and it was in excess of 1000 words. Over a class of 30, that's 30 000 words (3 times that of a standard university dissertation, or just a mere 6 and half months of CATCOUK). So just a note to all of my fellow students out there - there are people far worse off than us. And these guys do this every year!

Anyways, it being the case that we haven't yet recovered from Ofsted, the teachers are all naturally a little stressed. And like the mug that I am, I'm always willing to pitch in, and share some of the stress. I spent most of last week at work glued to a computer, sorting out various IT administrative issues with year 7 reports. I think, although I've really lost the plot, I've worked on 3 out of the 4 year 7 classes. The biggest job was helping out the deputy head. For Dennis, being the most pleasant man in the world is a full-time job. He's retiring this year, to the dismay of the whole staff team, and as such, could be described as a little advanced in years. Despite his 40 odd years of teaching experience, he's never really learnt to grapple with a computer. So having hand-written all of his reports, I needed to scan them all in, and format them so other teachers could write their various reports in. Job and a half that, but we all love you Dennis!

When Friday rolled around, having managed to wear my own personal arse groove into the plastic stall near one of the staff room computers, I was dragged away in a semi-concsious state to the school field. Apparently, before my soul had been swallowed up by the computer system, I had agreed to join in with festivities for 'Sport Relief'. And bless the year 5 team, but they had organised (and I use the term organised very loosely) a staff v students football match. Having found my old high school PE jersey (St. Andrews for life!), and yes it still fits, I ambled onto the school's football pitch.

The atmosphere was really good. I had worried about the non-sporty kids being bored, but the vast majority seemed to have a really good time. At one point (when we were in the lead), a teacher that wasn't playing, Ian, nipped onto the pitch, to just tap the ball beyond the goal. To be fair, our goalkeeper would never have tried to save it, but somehow, Ian's ball played straight into Carolyn's stomach. And Ian's 'tap' was quite powerful. Although mainly for comic effect, Carolyn went straight to the deck, bent over in mock agony. The irony is, this was the best and only save she made in the whole match!

As a brief interlude (big word for you lot I know, but bare with me), I just can't resist putting up pointless and needless photos of my car, and now 'fleet'. With both the amazing Ernie the Escort, and Eric (Morecombe) the Motorbike, I felt it was about time for some family photo album pics.

Master and Commander: the new old and impressive fleet.

Introducing Eric Morcombe the Motorbike, a 1989 Honda (not Hongdou) CB450 DX. When it was new, it would have done a standing quarter mile in 5 seconds apparently. It's still pretty quick.

One more for luck (well, Eric deserves his moment, and this ol' Honda is a smooth as silk). And you would never even notice the reflection of the camera man (what a muppet I am...).

On Sunday, I attended the most boring course that I have attended in a long time. I felt that it would be a good idea for my to gain a VHF radio operator's license, and the NTC's sailing centre, NSTC Lion, had bought an instructor in. The centre was great as always (just in case you've surfed in looking to hire the centre), but the courswe... Snooze-athon. It's been quite a few years since the last time I nearly fell asleep whilst in a class. The instructor really knew his stuff, and had several witty anecdotes - but you can only work with the subject matter. Anyways, I'm now licensed to operate a radio station on marine VHF channel (only kidding Ian, that's illegal...).

I had been told that the course might finish at 5, maybe 5.30. So when I eventually left the place at 6.30, I really had to gun it over to Lancing. Michael, my best friend, and his lovely girlfriend Amy have been inviting me over for dinner for weeks. I thought I might actually make one. But just a mere 55 minute later, I was standing outside their Lancing flat. Dinner was great, thanks Amy.

But the main reason for my visit, was to make a modification to my car (I don't want Ernie feeling left out with all this talk of motorbikes...). I now have fitted, although not wired in, very 1980's spot lights on the front. Michael and I were working in his garage until midnight, but to be fair, we did have to remove the bumper. Well, I see we, Michael did most of the work, as I don't really know what I'm doing. Thanks Michael, I'm just not going to mention the rust we found under the wings...

Well that was my week. Thanks for all your concern that there was no post this week (you lot just don't care do you?), with the exception of one text I received. No, I haven't crashed Eric, and yes, I am still alive (not that any of you could give a hoot...).

If you have never been late for something, and have never mis-spelled anything (perhaps you're using a spell checker, hey Ian...) you are clearly perfect, and should leave a perfect comment.

If you appreciate that sometimes there are more important things than writing a load of old rubbish that no one reads or cares about (like sleep), why not just go and do something else, and not bother leaving a comment (guess we'll see if a bit of reverse psychology works).

Quote of the Week: (and I have to say, there were several to choose from this week) 'Will Andy be staying here tonight' said Amy in a text at 1120pm, obviously having alot of faith that Michael and I would replace the bumper so that I could drive home...