What a polite car thief...

Oh boy. What a dull week.

The week started with me and a friend at Uni giving a presentation for Psychology. What a great presentation – on self-efficacy. Yay… (sorry, sarcasm doesn’t travel that well in text). If you’ve ever seen a student presentation (or a presentation by any young person), you’ll know how jaw-droppingly boring they are. But I like to think that my presentations are a little different…

I like presentations. Well giving them anyway, listening to them is pretty dull...

After a bit of banter with everyone’s favourite lecturer, and insulting a few students, our presentation was pretty upbeat. Although we lost a lot of momentum when we actually started to talk about self-efficacy, no-one fell asleep. We were also the first presentation this year to get some questions from students afterwards (which means someone was listening…). I like giving presentations. Big thanks have to go to Paul Tyler who taught me everything I know (although that’s not much in fairness).

Not everyone was excited as me about giving our presentation - Phil, my presentation 'buddy'.

Now, I may have had a pretty dull week (topping off with an equally dull Regional Band practice on Sunday. Oh boy was I in trouble with Mum for being out on Mother’s Day. Big trouble….), but, many of my friends and family have had a bit more going on. So let’s use other people this week for a few cheap laughs instead of me!

Last weekend, Holly had her car broken into. What a laugh that is, I hear you cry with equal sarcasm. Well no. But there are some things about the break-in that are a little bizarre. The thieve(s) (who come from the Newbury area) ‘broke into’ the car, without leaving a scratch. The guy or guys then pulled out Holly’s stereo without leaving a mark. The thief then took any other valuables like her phone, and a credit card.

Now, you’d think that would be enough wouldn’t you? But for some reason, unknown to me, or Holly, or just about anyone else, they also stole a set of jump leads, and a Haynes manual. A Haynes manual for a car they didn’t steal. Although stupid, this criminal was still polite. Because they didn’t want anyone else to break-in, or steal Holly’s car, they left it locked for her. How nice of them…

So, if you live in the Newbury area, and someone offers you a car stereo, a set of jump leads, and a Haynes manual for a Vauxhall Corsa, give the Police a ring. Hang on a minute… Where would you go if you wanted a car stereo, a Haynes manual, and a set of jump leads? Halfords of course! So that’s it. Hol, I’ve solved the mystery. It was a manager from Halfords that must have stolen your gear. They must have had a stock problem…

My highlight of the week was when my brother went to hospital. That sounds harsh, but as I told Ian’s manager this week (at Sainsbury’s) he’s 18, a pain in the backside, and a pillock. Ian has a funny toe that grows wrong. To sort it out, the doctors of Worthing & Southlands hospital decided to break his toe, and put a metal pin in it. Job done.

All this week, Ian has had to sit with his foot raised. Some of you may remember me making certain… accusations about his sexuality. And this week has only added more evidence. With his injured foot in bundles of bandage, Ian has to wear one of those special blue surgical shoes (like people wear over plaster casts). Of course, they just aren’t ‘cool’. So Ian sewed the pattern of one of his trainers into the shoe, so they matched (although the colour was wrong).

I have to admit, that’s pretty cool. Although I’m not sure whether blokes should be sewing… But the part of this story that really makes Ian a bit… well odd, is that he unpicked the sewing. Because he decided to wear a different pair of trainers. And they no longer matched. I’m sure many of my female readers are saying that is perfectly reasonable. But don’t forget, I am talking about my brother.

Oh dear…

Well that was my (and other’s) week. How was your week? Share with us your tales of wo so that we can all have a good laugh. God knows, if this week was anything like last week, I’m gonna need some entertainment.

If you have stolen a car stereo, a Haynes manual, and a set of jump leads recently, why not leave a comment with your name, address, telephone number, and a reason (goodness only know we have no idea).

If you have an interesting anecdote about this week, please, please, PLEASE leave it. I get so bored…

Quote of the week: “Bang me, Bang me!” Holly said to me this week, whilst making a lot of very odd noises. I feel I should explain this one to you, but I’d much rather leave it to your collective warped imaginations…