I PROBE-ably shouldn't PROBE into this, by asking any PROBING questions...

I think that that title may have to win an award, for the most content related single punn, of any blog post title.

Well, I may be several days late posting, but as Siobhan demands entertainment, so I'll put up a short post. And I have to say, I have a fantastic subject for this week's post. It's all about very high-brow academic university lab testing.

As you should now know, I have returned to the grand old University of Chichester to complete my final year of Adventure Education. Of the 28 or so student on my course, 1 person is glad to be back. What can I say, I just enjoy their company!

One of my pet hates, has always been biology. And a subject that is even worse than biology (and I wasn't sure that that was possible) is PHYSIOLOGY! Oh good goodness, how I detest physiology. I just can't engage in the subject (which is bad news, as I struggle to do well in subjects that I'm not interested in). One of the things we have to do for our physiology module, is to carry out lab tests. I personally would much rather spend those two hours beating my head to a bloody pulp against a brick wall somewhere. But hey, that's just me.

But this year, for our final year of University, where everything is that much more advanced, we are using an environmental chamber. The first time we walked in there, one of my fellow students uttered 'Anyone ever heard of mustard gas?' And he was right - the place looks like an American gas chamber! Very spooky. So far, this all sounds pretty cool - we get to play with a room where we are in charge of the temperature and humidity.

But you're forgettiung, this is Physiology. We have to keep a constant core temperature reading on anyone being tested on in this room - all for safety. How can you take a core temperature reading? Under your tongue, under your armpit, and yes that's right, rectally! What method do you think the physiolists prefer to use? Right again - rectally! Well, if they think that they are going to shove a 10cm probe up my chuff in the name of education, they have another thing coming.

Fortunately, there are other, more open minded students on my course. They gladly volunteered themselves to be subjects. So they were given their 10cm anal probe, and a tub of vaseline, and sent on their way. Well, out of the four participants we had last week, one thought he might have applied too much vaseline, one went a very odd shade of greeney-white, and a third passed out! Well, we used another two participants to replace the one that had passed out, and the one that had gone a funny colour.

Well, if that is not conclusive, I don't know what is. I am not going to be participating in the lab tests this year...

But I ask you. What on earth do anal probes have to do with Adventure Education. Anyone that tried to even raise the topic of rectal thermometers in an adventure setting with young people would probably be arrested. So I ask again, what in the name of all that is holy, do anal probes have to do with Adventure Education? Perverse physiologists.

Lastly, it dawned on me recently, that of the three modules I am taking this semester, two of them are focussed on teaching us how to be undergraduate students. So, we are taking modules that are teaching us how to learn this year. Honestly, I have yet to find one thing on these two modules that I will ever use again. Does anyone else see anything bizarre about this?

And on that bombshell, I need to get off, and finish my first university assignment. Oh boy...

If you would like to volunteer to be a participant in one of our lab sessions, why not leave a comment saying that you'll being your own vaseline.

If you would like to avoid being a participant in one of our lab sessions at all costs, stay near me...

Quote of the week: 'It's like going from swimming in water, to walking through jelly with concrete boots on. You can do it, but it's bloody hard work!' I said, as I explained how I was finding 4th year university life to my dad.