National Brewer's Droop Day...

Hello, and welcome to another stunningly boring post from yours truly. This week's post has everything from car 'modding', to alcohol abuse! There's no stopping me in my fast paced life style!

I start this week with a polite notice to boy racers in the Littlehampton/ Worthing area. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I know that my car is a 20 year old Escort Estate, and doesn't look as cool as your 1.1 Peugeot 106's with shoddy plastic air vents, but my car can whip your ass in a drag any day! This week, some idiot saw my car as an easy target for his 1.1 small car, with his main beam and fog lights on full (bearing in mind I was on my way home from work just after 10pm).

His lights dazzled my eyes, and sure enough off the roundabout onto the dual carriageway he's puts his foot down to overtake me. Mug, I shift down a gear, and accelerate. After the mile long section of dual carriageway, we hit a single carriageway (50mph speed limit), and the boy racer is still behind me. In order to teach him some manners. he was stuck behind me doing 30. Just because my car is old doesn't mean it does 30 all the time - only when I have to annoy annother road user... If you see my car - it is not an easy target - DON'T BOTHER!

More strange things my car has carried - this week: 3 6ft fence panles. Ernie the Escort - the car that can (and probably has)

Anyways, as many of you will be aware, I love my 1986 Ford Escort Estate (1.4 GL in Champagne Gold). When I drive around in it, I feel like some sort of 70's cop/ PI. Many people ask why I don't 'mod' my car - like add alloy wheels and the like. Most people don't appreciate that my car is just about as near to original condition as you can get (even down to the original dealer's number plates and tax disc holder). So I preserve my car with the respect it deserves. Naturally I have great thoughts about any additions to my car. In January I fitted an electric arial. In the 70's/ 80's this was a common mod for cars like mine, so I felt that it fits in quite well with my car.

The other day, my dad was turfing out some stuff, when he came across a late 70's early 80's car alarm. Mum had bought this for dad some Christmas a long time ago (for his first car - Citroen 2CV). Dad said I could have it, and I opened the box to find a mint condition - never even opened alarm! The instructions on the box said easy-to-fit, so I started with the project.

The MS700 - easy to fit (HA HA)

Easy to fit my arse! 6 hours later I had eventually got it all wired up. Major problems came with trying to set the alarm off at the right time. You'll be pleased to hear that it's now all in fully working condition, and has been tested (some times by accident). All 115 decibells of the Piezo alarm deafinatly work (ha ha - get it). There is one problem however...

The Moss Security MS700 fitted "proffesionally" in my car

The alarm also has a device to detect the whole car's movement. Everytime I drive over a bump in the road, the alarm "tweets" like a bird. The alarm is clearly trying to go off, but is being stopped by the ignition (all be it late). If anyone asks, I'll just say I couldn't afford a hamster for the wheel, and bought a budgy for my engine instead! Other than that, it's the perfect alarm for my car - it works, and it's the right age!

Finally, I get to the title of my post. Last week, my 17 year old brother Ian (Charles Lancely Clarke - just so there's no mistaking him) got absolutly lashed (10 pints down the pub in 6 hours). Now most students will at this point be shouting "LIGHT WEIGHT", but at 9.30pm on Thursday my brother rolled into the house, collapsed into bed saying "I love you Mummy!" Anyways, after puking his guts out several times, he eventually fell asleep in his room with his head actuall IN a bucket. I have attached a picture just to embarress him some more.

DRINKING - It's dead sexy... My 17yr old brother, well on his way to Uni...

The next day, me and Mum took the piss, and really made sure that his hangover went down like the Titanic. We even offered him last night's Lasagne for breakfast (nearly made him hurl!). I therefore dedicate this blog to National Brewer's Droop Day - men that drink to much have... problems.

Super Finally Lastly, I have to mention that I sold my motorbike this week. In memory, I have posted a picture. With my bike's sale, ends an era! Gone now are my Steve McQueen days....

2004 (Jan) - 2006 (Aug)

"Harry" Hongdou HD125C - the quick, [almost] reliable Chinese quivalent of a Honda. Other's laughed, but my bike was brilliant.

Ashley (who bought my bike) - take care of him, or I'll have to take a contract out on you!

That really is it now. Thanks for reading. (Are these posts getting longer week by week? Want to complain? - leave a comment)