What time does a Chinaman go to the Dentist?

Good evening sports fans! For those of your blissfully unaware, in the traditional English cricketing traditions, we have collapsed against the Aussie team. Marvellous.

Anyways, I haven't posted for a while, but a few things have been happening lately that I thought were vaguely blog-able, so I thought I would.

Firstly, I was offered a job a s a Teaching Assistant at Chesswood School (where I have worked/ volunteered for many moons), and I start in September! The interviews was pretty amusing - they were held on a day, whilst I was camping with there year 7 on a residential. I had to drive back to school for the interview (giving 'rival' candidate Dave a lift as well). We both got jobs, so were all good. But just in case, I put a wheel barrow in his tent (it was one of many silly pranks played).

This has been something of a poisoned chalice (I have no idea if that is spelt correctly). Don't get me wrong, I'm really pleased to have the job, but it left me to survive until late October (when I'll see my first wage packet) on just £6 (and that's really all that was left of my £1500 overdraft). I couldn't get a full-time job, as I'd be elsewhere in six weeks. So temping was my only option.

My first job was deep cleaning an alzheimers hospital (very depressing). I worked with two black guys (a Gambian and a Barbados man), and a student like myself. On the first day, with some apprehension, I introduced myself, and asked their names (dreading two very complicated names). Oddly, the Barbados man (who was really freindly) was called Michael, the Gambian was Michael (both very English names), and the English student was called someything odd like Martel, or someone. Serves me right for stereotyping...

For the last two weeks, I have been cleaning for Brighton General Hospital - which has one very odd attribute for a General Hospital. It hasn't got any patients. The building I clean is all officers, and two corridors have out-patient facilities. I went their expecting to clean up vomit, and ended up hoovering offices...

No CATCOUK post would be complete without an Ernie update! And shockingly, almost everything works again. My best mate Michael bought an Orion (a saloon version of my car) with exactly the same 1.4 litre engine. He's replacing his engine with a 2 litre, and knowing Ernie is in need of a new carburettor, he whipped the one out of his Orion, and we transplanted it into Ernie's engine bay. Easy job, only took an hour or so...

And then we noticed that we had more pipes that places to put them on the 'new' carb. Bugger. We noticed another component that had more pipes in Michaels car, and less in Ernie, so we swapped that, and we had enough places to put pipes. They're probably all in the right place, and the engines runs properly now, so it probbaly worked. In the end, just a 2.5 hour job!

Michael also donated his radio, so now my passengers and I can here this strange sound, which if I remember corrctly is called - radio. It is good fun...

So, last year, I chipped a Wisdom tooth. Not being a dentist fan, I ignored it, and didn't seek help. In the last few weeks, an absys developed (which hurts like you wouldn't believe), so I gave in, and went and saw the new dentist in the village. Well, it was private (so better and deerer than NHS), but wow, was that chap good. The tooth couldn't be saved, and he had to pull it. I didn't feel a thing (for the first three hours...). An NHS dentist would have referred me to hospital, and that would have cost upward of £200, but Dr. Stan Lee, Dental Surgeon (his parents had a good sense of humour) drilled it in two, and pulled it there and then.

Unfortunately, and unusually, it didn't stop bleeding for 6 hours, and after a stitch, and a further visit to the emergency dental service at Worting A&E, I was pretty damn unhappy. The moral of the story is probably to visit the dentist, and get over your fears - but it chuffing hurt for 5 days!

So, what time does a Chinaman go to the Dentist? 2 - 30 (say it aloud). And what time was my appointment? Quarter past 2 - damn...

Quote of the week: 'I don't wear a bra for their benefit - I do it to stop my boobs hurting!' ranted the very attractive 32DD young female teacher who has also been temping as a cleaner at Brighton General, complaining about the 'dirty old men' that spoke to her on her way to work... [She was very attractive]