What a capital (city) idea!

Hopefully, this week's punn will become obvious later on in the story, but first things first...

Those of you that read my Blog regularly (and might just care) might remember I was getting a courtesy car last week, whilst my beloved Ernie the Escort went in for his MOT and service (he passed with no advisories by the way). My courtesy car turned out to be pretty much anything I wanted in their Ford showroom, if I'd waited long enough. I instead decided that the 1994 Ford Escort Hatchback, 1.6i LX was good enough. Uncomfortble as sin, but went like poo poo off the proverbial shovel. I would show you a picture, but Blogger's picture tool is up the spout.

Anyways, on with this week's story...

Last week, a friend of mine from Uni (probably one of the most attractive young women you will ever meet - Holly) passed on an invitation to a House Party (from another friend from Uni - Paul). So Holly encourages me to go, and I reply to Paul.

The house party was in Barking (near London), and on the Saturday I decided (in my infinite wisdom) to drive through the centre of London to see the sights. Oh what a great idea that turned out to be. I could find my way to Wandsworth easily enough, and from there, I could navigate my way through Central London (as I played "The Getaway" on PS2 often enough when it came out - I know Central London like the back of my hand).

So, I drive through Parliament square, past Buckingham Palace, down the Mall, round Trafalgar Square, and through Picadiliy Circus. I unfortunatly took the wrong turning off Picadily circus, and ended up going through China Town, and then heading North. I wanted to go East (to Barking), but I couldn't turn off. Camden Lock came and went (along way North), and I just kept turning right.

It was definatly becoming a hot afternoon, as the outside temperature could be measured as Gas Mark 6! Naturally, I was now sitting in a pool of my own sweat, and getting very annoyed with other drivers. London drivers aren't the politest at the best of times. I was getting cut up left, right and centre (but my Escort held out against them). It seemed that I was getting more left. I checked my compass, and found I was going North, so I turned right (meaning I should end up facing East). Checked my compass, and I was now heading West! How is that even possible.

I eventually (more through determination and luck than judgment) landed on the A13, which leads straight to Barking. I came into Barking, to be faced with... that's right - MORE FLIPPIN' TRAFFIC!!!! It took me 3 and a half hours to get to the address in Barking where the House Party was.

At this point, let me just remind you how this started. My attractive female friend passed on an invitation to a house party, that was supposed to be really big. The invitation had even spoken of a pool party (well a paddling pool party) if the weather was good (and it was baking hot). I naturally rolled up expecting Music, loads of cars, and more importantly, scantily clad women at the side of the pool.

I arrived at the address to find a mystery. The party was supposed to start at 2, and it was now 7. I could hear no Music, and there road didn't seem to have any extra cars in! At this point I started to wonder if I had the right week! So I rang Paul (I didn't want to go to his door like a total prat if it had been cancelled, or was the wrong day).

No-one else had turned up! except one of Paul's male friends from college/ school. I had expected a heaving party, and all I found were two blokes (and we watched Top Gear!). I drove for over three hours on some of the most stressful roads in Britain, for nothing (except two blokes). I stayed for a drink (as I had driven all that way), and then left around 10, in time to help pack away a disco.

Thank god they cancelled the pool party!