CATCOUK returns!

After a two-month break, CATCOUK is finally back! And shockingly, unlike every other show that ran out of material, this isn't some poorly remade prequal. No, no, this is the continuing story, with fresh and new material every week.

Okay, so first, a quick recap of what's been going on. The last two months of my life (and probably every other university student in their final year - definitely my friends and colleagues) has been absolute hell. The first three years of the Adventure Education degree at the University of Chichester were great, but this final year has been less interesting than being forced to read the complete works of William Shakespeare in one week. Honestly, only two modules have even remotely interested me.

Worse still, has been the 10 00 word dissertation hanging over my head. It's a massive project that has to conform to strict regulations, and must be devoid of any creativity. I guess I feel sorry for the tutors that have to read it (just drink lots of coffee first). Anyways, as a wise profit once asked, 'How do you eat an elephant? In small chunks.' Well I definitely took that approach, somedays struggling to bash out more than a paragraph. I would just sit at my computer, and find other distractions (Facebook, BBC iPlayer [which is awesome], and the Channel 4 catch-up service). Honestly, there were some days where I had sat at the computer for 6 hours, and not typed a single chuffin' word!

But worst of all, so preoccupied by the massive job ahead of me, I couldn't do anything else. I can't sleep, I have a dissertation to write. I can't write my blog, I have a dissertation to write. I can't do this, I have a dissertation to write. I can't do that, I have a dissertation to write. I can't take a dump, I have a dissertation to write. Fortunately, this did eventually leave me so full of crap, that I was able to complete my dissertation, and still have some left over to write this post.

So that has been my last few months. Of course it wasn't all doom and gloom. As well as dealing with intense feelings of depression and stress, there have been some highlights. If you are on the Face Book, you may well have seen some of those events. After many years, my best friend Michael and I went to see our radio hero - Terry Garoghan. Praise be to the bald! The show was awesome, and I can't wait for next year.

My best friend and I developed a new method of measuring torque in cars. We feel that the best measure of this is now 'how many horses can a car drag in a direction in which they do not wish to be dragged'. This soon-to-be global standard measurement of torque is abbreviated to HDDWTDWDs. We feel that this easy to use system will be adopted very soon. For example, Ernie's torque would be measured at: 5 HDDWTDWDs (5 horses dragged in a direction in which they did not wish to be dragged). That was mildly amusing. We may have been at the pub when we developed this.

Another high point was finally fitting some mud guards to Bernie the battleship (my homemade road trailer). They look awesome.

And that's about it for the positives. Wow, I really have had a dull life in the last few weeks. Probably best that I didn't write any blog posts..

So, now we're back. All this week, I have furiously been promoting CATCOUK's relaunch. This was mainly through quoting this post on my FaceBook status. The first one was quoted from above, but all the rest are made up, for example:
-And that's when I knew he was gay. A bit too late in my opinion.

-That could so easily have caused an explosion. That was one close call...

-like having my teeth pulled out by a man with hooks for his hands, that suffers from Parkinsons.

First things first - this post wouldn't be a post without a picture of my marivelous (if not increasingly tempermental) car - Ernie the Escort. So here's a picture of my 1986 Ford Escort 1.4 GL Estate in champagne gold (or my youth group's mini-minibus) on our way to camp!

You'll notice that my long suffering car is full to the gunwhales with stuff for camp. So full in fact, that it spilled over into a trailer. So it was a good job that my homemade trailer (Bernie the Battleship) was there to help. I'm very proud of my trailer, especially now I have bolted mud-guards to it. So let's have another photo looking at that!

Camp was fantastic - we really do have a cracking bunch of cadets. Fun was had by all. Because I end up trying to do so much, I usually end up being a little late to meet the kids. But that wasn't going to happen this time. I had 45 minutes to spare. But I guess the God of NTC decided it wasn't to be (although I don't know how Mr. Ginnaw mannaged it...)

I left a roundabout, and joined a dual-carriageway, just in time to see a very unusual queue of traffic for as far as they eye could see. Oh bo**ocks. I wouldn;t make it in time to collect the cadets. Worse still, I had the only set of keys to get into the campsite. If I was stuck here for too long, we were all stuffed. In 40 minutes, we crawled 1/2 mile. At one point, I switched Ernie's engine off, and went for a stroll around the traffic, and talk to other irate drivers. Bless the police for closing the road. Incidentally, I think a car had knocked some kids over, so it was quite serious.

I left the accident scene with 10 minutes to travel the usual 20 minutes to meet the cadets. As I'm sure you can imagaine, by driving was somewhat... enthusiastic. I'll tell you, one Porche driver must have got an eye test afterwards, as he thinks he was over taken leaving a roundabout by a 1980's Escort towing a metal trailer (he was right). I did get there after 15 minutes. Not bad when you consider I was towing...

This week has seen further fiddling with the dissertation, but that's quite a dull subject. Although my tutor was very impressed. He said that in the six years he had done the job, it was probably one of the best. More than that though, he said that it might be worth getting it published. How cool is that?

My week has finished with a pleasant day at the Corps 'other' boating centre, Attentive, in Shoreham Harbour. I ran the sailing all day, wearing what can only be described as a very stylish hat. Alright, so I looked like a pillock as usual. But at least it was a good day, and fun was had by all.

Well, that's CATCOUK's massive return. Was it worth the wait, and all of the build-up on FaceBook? Nah, probably not. But you still read it though didn't you? So off you go, back to work, or to your dissertations and essays, and I shall stumble off to my DVD player to watch an episode or two of Thunderbirds. I lead a sad life, but it's the only life I've got.

And on that bombshell, I need to start thinking about something for next week's post. Same time, same place. CATCOUK, only available... on the internet!

PS - Don't forget to leave a comment so I feel wanted. And welcome to a new reader from the US, who must now think that all English guys are like me. There not, some of them are even weirder (like the people that actually read this).