I guess I look younger when I'm sailing

First off the bat, clearly no one appreciates the fact that I missed parts of Indiana Jones last week. Not only did I miss some of one of the greatest films of all times, but none of you beggers could be arsed to leave a chuffin' comment. Well cheers for that!

Well, this has been a slightly more eventful week. I usually like to keep my audience in suspense about my post titles, and today is no different. Even though my cryptic title does stem from a story from early in my week, you'll just have to wait.

The main excitement this week was provided by yet another visit to the Accident & Emergency department of Worthing Hospital (which I am pleased to say, has been saved). Yes, an ambulance was used, and yes, so was Ernie. But, for reasons of me ever speaking to the person again, I can't say who or why we went to A&E. What I can say, is that the casualty was very drunk that evening, although they had sobered up a little by the time we got to Hospital, at just after midnight.

Just three short hours later (which we spent watching three late night medical staff watch us, watch them, watch us... you get the idea) we were finaly seen by a doctor. The doctor decided that it was an overnight job, before deciding half an hour later it might not be. He said that he would like to see the result of the blood count, and if that was alright, we could all go home.

I've gotta tell you, Worthing Hospital must be able to employ someone else, other than 'The Count' from Sesame Street, to count blood. Well, the amount of time it took for the blood count, it seemed only possible for The Count to trawling slowly through individual cells: 'One blood, ah, ah, ahh... Two blood, ah, ah, ahh...' If you have no idea what I'm talking about, more fool you.

Anyways, it took the doctor an hour an a half to come back with results. We think that he went on a break. The doc cleared us to leave, and so we left. The more observant amongst you, will have realised that that makes the time 5 am by the time we left. I've never driven home after a night out in the daylight before. I didn't even need full headlights!

Which brings us nicely to Saturday. I have to ask, what is wrong with me? In the afternoon, the family were invited to a neighbour's for a garden party (congratulations Chris on the new job). It was a reasonable enough party, just not really my scene. Full of parents, chatting about 'parenty stuff', and young children. Of course mum was in her element.

Having failed in that environment, you would think I would be much more comfortable where I started off my evening. For the last few weeks I've been helping to instruct some sailing classes at a local sailing club. One of the young attractive female instructors had her birthday this week. She invited me to join her and her friends in celebrating her birthday on Saturday evening. Where do most young attractive females like to celebrate their birthday? Night clubs of course.

I have to say, that I always find 'nights out' to club like places facinating. First off, people always seem really happy, nay elated that I have 'gone out'. Why? I don't get drunk, I don't get rowdy, I don't dance, I'm not exactly the life and soul of the party, and all I'm able to do is make glib remarks that no one can hear. Furthermore, nothing exciting ever happens when 'I'm out'. It's like I'm a walking human dull magnet. Answers on a postcard please...

So, I got in a round of drinks (a first for me - but I am a gentleman after all), and endured 90 minutes, until I had to leave. So tell me, oh wise CATCOUK readers - what is wrong with me? I don't fit in with the usual social habbits of people my own age, or people older than me (although I am partial to drinks and chatting at a pub). To be honest, if someone asks me out to celebrate their birthday, I'll always go to the bar, but I don't usually go on to a club afterwards. Is it any wonder I don't meet women?

Which brings us neatly back around to the title. It's a known fact, that most people (old or young) over-guess my age. The current record is 36 (and I was 18 at the time!). But a few weeks back, one of the kids wouldn't believe that I was instructor. He believed I was 15 or 16. And earlier on this week, said young attractive female instructor said that she thought I was 18 or 19. So, I guess I must just look younger when I'm sailing.

And on that bombshell, and with Family Guy on TV, it's time to say good night.

If you think that I look older than I am (21 by the way), why not leave a message saying that you have never seen me sailing.

If you think that I look younger than I am (21 by the way), why not leave a message saying that you have only ever seen me sailing.

Quote of the Week: 'Do you want your ambulance now, or later' I asked the drunk person. As it turned out, they wanted it later on.